Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Tom Lewis would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Kwest tale 1: building a fantasy world using a thinly veiled narrative involving a bee-man OR Kwest 1 (the one that isn’t a sequel)

By Tom Lewis All Rights Reserved ©

Humor

Chapter 1 (the only chapter so far)

Another day in the realm of Kwest… Not named because most of its inhabitants on are usually on quests but actually named after the Grand Mr. Quentin Kwest of Journey Street. Mr. Kwest had a habit of speaking his mind, running his mouth (detaching it with a magic spell sold to him by a flashy dwarf merchant) and wearing expensive clothing woven from the finest silk (although this was actually a fallacy because, there’s only one creature that produces silk in the whole of Kwest; the silken-man-worm). Mr. Kwest was known for marrying a hobbit and also playing a role in Kwest politics; to this day no one knows exactly why they named the realm after him…

Anyway! Forget all that history nonsense because, other than being used as a feeble framing device for yet another fantasy world the story of how Kwest got its name matters not one single iota. We’re going to follow the story of a Bee-man; bee-men in Kwest aren’t considered all that strange and are known to be highly friendly and affable. They are largely known for going out on quests involving acquiring pollen, bee men don’t really know why they collect pollen and if you were to ask one why? They would reply “’cos its summint to do enit!”

Our story follows Adrian Beemeister Bee man of apartment 2B on Noneofyourbeeswax Road. Adrian awoke this morning (that’s right they mornings in Kwest but oddly the time of 13:34 doesn’t exist, the clock just skips over from 13:33 to 13:35; Sorry another tangent to bulk out this fantasy world that’s just been created) to the sound of bin-man questing to collect all of the rubbish using his bin-manly powers of rubbish collecting and beeping. Upon waking up Adrian said “Right! Time to get up!” To which the alarm-man exclaimed “Hold on a minute mate! Take five more bleeding minutes because, I need to sound the alarm then! I got into this stupid alarm quest and now I can’t get out of it!” Beemeister replied “Well that’s not my fault! I have to find myself a quest for today!” “Fine” exclaimed the Alarm-man.

Following his morning ablutions Beemeister decided to see the Mighty wizard of Magic Street (don’t blame me! I’m just narrating this drivel!). Beemeister took it upon himself to get off his lazy stripy abdomen and walk down the Golden breezeblock road (copyright issues… Because James Franco is so awesome! Did you see him in that film I’m not allowed to mention?). On his way Beemeister ran into Jack Elephant who wasn’t an elephant but in fact an ele-mant (yes another hybrid! Thankfully this didn’t become a sequel to the island of Dr. Moreau as originally intended by the halfwit that wrote this). Ele-mants tend to go on quests that involve the horn section of most orchestras however despite their impressive trumpeting, orchestras nowadays in Kwest tend to sit in silence for hours on end only to finish their shows with gregarious standing ovations from the pretentious fatted duck-men (really?) who are too ignorant to see past their bills (physical and household). “Lovely day today isn’t it?” Said Jack. In that moment Beemeister knew the trumpeting git wanted something. “Your thorax is looking trim. Have you been working out? Oh! Haha! Been! Get it? BEE-n! Haha! Because you ‘re Beemeister and.. Haha!”

“What do you want Jack?”

“Me? Oh nothing… Well I do have a question to ask you.”

“(exhales) Okay, go on then.”

“Why is there a man following you? Providing sarcastic comments at every turn in order to somehow convey humour?” (dick).

“Oh him! He’s on a narrating quest.”

“Fair enough, anyway I have an orchestra to quest with. See ya!”

“Whatever”

After running into his neighbour for reasons that totally weren’t to do with bulking out the story in any way Beemeister turned the epic left onto Magic Street (epic left’s are like turning left except you turn 360 degrees to the left… You have to see one! I’m not going into any more detail). As Beemeister approached the wizard’s door he couldn’t help but notice the ten O’clock sundown and the one minute past ten sunrise (see there is more to this fantasy world lark than ghosts and orcs… Although no one really likes orcs because, everybody is a little bit orcophobic).

Knock knock

A voice from behind the heavy wooden (Oh you get the point! We’re leading into a knock knock anti-joke)

“Who’s there?”

“Beemeister”

“Beemeister who?”

“Beemeist’ve gotten up late to not get a quest today.”

“By all accounts my son, I should not let you in however you owe me a fiver” (obviously five Kwestles).

… and thus the heavy door swung open and Beemeister entered (shocking stuff I know) as Beemeister entered he noticed the wizard in great detail (even though he’d seen him a thousand times before but for your benefit we’re going to describe him). A long flowing blue cloak covered the wizards presumably skinny old body and atop his snow white hair sat a bright orange pointy hat (the fashion police are on their way) surprisingly the wizard didn’t have a beard which made visiting him a bit disappointing to be honest.

“Why are you here my son?” said the wizard whose name wasn’t important (but if you’re interested he’s called Clive)

“Well I was wondering could I ask you a question?”

“You just did! That’s another fiver.”

“Bollocks! Ok nevermind, anyway…”

“Swearing! That’s another fiver!”

“Okay fine! Anyway..”

“Exclaiming! That’s another fiver!”

“You just exclaimed five times.”

“Cheekiness! Another fiver!”

“Okay, look here’s 25 Kwestles. Do you have any quests that I can do?”

“No.”

THE END

(Really?)

YES

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Tom Lewis
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

rak9485: I just finished with ch 24 n the story cut off at the end of the chapter please tell me there is more to this story I need to know the ending like if they end up together. do they have sex or not? do they date? is she to afraid to b in a relationship after Tyler.

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

AASTHA SHARMA: really...one of the best novel i've ever read...a very touching story....really loved it...thanks for writing such a masterpeice...the struggle of the narrator but still remaining satisfied is the thing that i liked the most...another nice thing is the concept of talking with god...in short i wou...

Jaslyn: I loved reading this so much!! The transformation of Nina's self-esteem was incredible to read, and while I was rooting for Parker halfway through, I was very satisfied when Harrison and Nina finally got everything straight. The side characters were adorable - I especially loved Anna, Richel, Mic...

Pauli Ni: Sooo great! I love the story, awesome characters, great content. And the last scene is from my favorite movie😍😍. Great. That's all I can say.It's well written, nice language, sometimes funny, emotional, thrilling, exciting and I could go on and on. Sometimes there are some mistakes with the spell...

hridhyaraj: I am only able to read till the bonus chapter of boyband...please someone tell me what happens after that.... I can't wait to know what happens next. does aqueela and jt get back together? what about Troy? I feel pity for the guy...and where does Emma and Xavier move to? I'm just flooded with ...

ayataksi barari: it's a gripping tale. it gets too sarcastic sometimes though it is almost understandable seeing aqueelas character. but, but, but, what happens after that? does she come back? does the love story we have all been rooting for take a good turn or worse, comes to an end? jt goes to south Africa afte...

skylarkjett: This book kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading! The story pulls you in and it's like you're right in the middle of Lewis and lewilynn watching it all go down I highly suggest reading this book it brought me to tears and bursts of happiness!

CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...