Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Erin Nicole would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Nachos are Evil

By Erin Nicole All Rights Reserved ©

Humor

April Fools? No?

From that day on, nachos were considered evil. I don't know what I did to tick karma off. Maybe they were planning for those nachos to ruin someone else's clothes. Maybe this was all just an April Fools prank and someone would pop out with a camera at any moment hollering "APRIL FOOLS!" and I'd gain instant internet popularity. No? Of course not.

How did I stumble upon this situation you ask? It happened March 31, 2015 (If you really must need it to be so specific). Kris made me wear a skirt today, which would've been fine if I were any other person, but of course it had to be me. Erin, wearing a skirt?! It had to be the end of the world. I swear, if someone paid me $20 for every stare, remark, or joke I got today, I'd have enough to pay off my college tuition fee! (And keep in mind, I live in the United States). 

At lunch, I took extra care to avoid Jeff. Knowing him, he'd probably make some snarky comment about my skirt, like how he always does with his weird food nicknames; Noodle, Pastrami Bun, Chicken Nugget, Fun Dip, don't even ask. So there I was, scurrying as fast as I could to my seat with my nachos (that I actually looked FORWARD to eating), trying to attract as little attention to me as possible. I think I did a wonderful job... of doing the exact opposite. 

I was just about to set down my lunch when my feet decided they wanted to spontaneously slip on NOTHING. I looked like those idiots on TV who slip on banana peels, except no, I was an idiot who managed to slip-up on a floor that wasn't even remotely slippery! I watched the disaster I caused unfold before me as the nachos- complete with piping hot hamburger meat sauce and equally as piping hot gooey cheese-flung into the air. My eyes widened at the sight, and with my sharp wits and quick thinking, I balanced myself and caught my plate with a stroke of luck, with everything intact and accident-free. I huffed a relieved sigh and sat down as if nothing happened. 

HA! JUST KIDDING! Yeah, that's not what happened. What? Could you really believe that a girl as clumsy as me to have been able to trip on a non-existent object on a non-slippery floor could perform such a feat? (Paired up with the ridiculous foreshadowing in the beginning?) No, the nachos and the rest of my lunch splattered everywhere, onto the table, chair, floor, and most especially me and my pretty little skirt. I might as well have been holding a sign saying "smother me in nachos" 

I'm also pretty confident that I fell in the most dramatic way possible too. The moment I tripped I let out a startled gasp and as if time slowed down, collapsed onto the ground until I flopped onto my side, looking like I lost a food fight at Taco Bell. My dramatic shriek of surprise (which lasted for about ten full seconds) drew the attention of about everyone on this side of the cafeteria, and they all gaped at me, lying in a pile of nachos along with the rest of my lunch, probably thinking "what a loser" 

Well I was a loser receiving about five seconds of popularity that I may never get to experience again so HA TO THEM! It was silent for a second until I burst into a maniacal cackle flicking off the meat and nachos off my skirt as I stood up and casually picked up about a dozen napkin containers to clean up my mess, as if that was normal. Sure people ended up giving me strange looks; especially the servers who yelled at me for taking so many napkins; but that was normal too (A few extra payments of $20 thank you very much). Besides, who wouldn't love all this attention? And where they the ones getting it? Thought so. 

I was still tempted to wipe off that evil smirk on Jeff's face though, with the heap of napkins I clutched when I ran into him knowing he'd start calling me Nachos, or Nachorella from now on, just to add on to my list of ridiculous food names. That's what Kris started calling me at least (I responded by throwing a nacho at her face). And walking past your crush with a lunch tray towering with enough napkins to rival his enormous height, isn't exactly the best way to win his heart either. BUT, as soon as the day was over, the incident was long forgotten (At least, that's what I tell myself). I still stunk of meat and cheese though. And Jeff and Kris didn't exactly forget either (Oh but don't worry, they moved on to different, but equally annoying nicknames), but the fact is, you shouldn't mull over mistakes and humiliating incidents forever, trust me. You'll laugh about it one day (probably). One thing I did learn, was that nachos were evil, and that the next time I decided to eat them, I'm definitely not wearing a skirt.


Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Erin Nicole
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Marijana1: The story might be characterized as “modern fantastic”. The representation of “the future” is not only ironic and fault-finding, but also very critical. Of course, it is highly exaggerated, but I get the feeling that it may well be linked to the truth, even though it is far away from it. The fact...

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Dhira Vidhea, author of Boy Who Broke In My Window, an otherwise engaging tale of love and acceptance of the quirkiest of individuals, whose overall conception of the plot is spot-on and whose writing style is impeccable and as for her writing skills they are the best I've ever seen, tho...

Nadine Willard: I loved this story so much! I generally can't stand super girly romance stories, but this one was so relatable! I could not stop reading this, I read it straight through!! I wish this was a series, not just a single story 😊

: Nothing like I have ever read. Loved every single bit of it, it had the right amount of romance and humour. I would definitely be re-reading this book. It certainly captivated me, it was so difficult to put this book down.

Jaslyn: I loved reading this so much!! The transformation of Nina's self-esteem was incredible to read, and while I was rooting for Parker halfway through, I was very satisfied when Harrison and Nina finally got everything straight. The side characters were adorable - I especially loved Anna, Richel, Mic...

Serlina Rose: I read this story and i could picture this relationship clearly, not just because I am experiencing the same things towards my best-friend of six almost years. I think it well written, I was quite captured about what would happen, and how they were going to deal with their feelings. The settings...

CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...

E_W_Hemmings: First of all, sorry this review took so long: I've had science mocks recently and then when I came to read this, I made notes to put in the review like I usually do... but then I deleted them. Well done me. As a result, this review is a bit more general than most reviews I write, but hey ho, let'...

Beloved Q Medina: At first I figured it was another genre fiction book and didn't have any expectations, but by the first few chapters I found myself engrossed in Sid's journey. Some say that genre fiction is predictable, or not as substantial as literary fiction, but this novel was anything but that. I found myse...

More Recommendations

Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral stories!
Iosaghar

FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"

The Cyneweard

Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral story!
Spectra

Ro-Ange Olson: "Loved it and couldn't put it down. I really hope there is a sequel. Well written and the plot really moves forward."