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Triple Pun-ishment

By jokester All Rights Reserved ©


Chapter 1

Two Americans and a Japanese get off a tour bus and walk into a darkened Outback pub in Australia. The Americans stroll over to the bar and order beer. The Japanese gets a cup of tea, sits down at a table, and begins browsing in a guidebook.

Just then a stockman walks through the front door leading a horse. "G'Day," he rasps, brushing off a cloud of dust.

The Americans and the Japanese glance up in surprise. The horse and rider are outlined in pale yellow light filtering through a dirty window.

Slapping money on the bar, the stockman says, "A coldie for me and some water for my horse."

The bartender shakes his head. "Sorry, mate. Beer’s warm. The electric went out in last night's blow. We’re using a wood stove. And the town's well has dried up."

"Bloody hell!" exclaims the sunburned rider. "Well, can you at least melt some ice so my horse can wet its whistle?”

The bartender looks even more apologetic. "All the ice melted.”

The stockman shakes his head. "I guess what they say is true then. You can lead a horse to drink but you can't make it water."

The Japanese chokes on his tea, and the Americans burst into guffaws.

"Draw two beers then," says the stockman.

The bartender passes the glasses across the bar. The rider chugs one and pours the other down the throat of the horse. The horse throws its head back and forth wildly. It shakes off layers of dust, revealing a reddish coat.

"Cricky! That's a change!" marvels the bartender.

"With all that dust I thought your horse was gray," exclaims one of the Americans.

The Japanese nods.

"No," says the stockman, "that's a color of another horse."

The Americans groan and the Japanese laughs so hard he knocks over his cup of tea. It falls to the floor and shatters. He eyes the mess in dismay. "Oh! Excuse my clumsiness! Let me help find the broken pieces so the cup can be mended."

"No worries," says the stockman. "When the barkeep mops up, he’ll have all the china in tea.”

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Alex Rushmer: I just want to say that the writing in this is amazing! I read the first couple chapters and was absolutely drawn in by it, The way you use first person in this story is extremely engaging and does wonders with your character development. I immediately had a picture of the characters and plotline...

Regina Lum: While the plot so far is kind of linear and loosely follows Pride & Prejudice's plot, I find this version of Pride & Prejudice a very enjoyable read!! I read all 13 chapters in one sitting!! I can't stop myself from reading! I hope to read more and feel the love blossom between Elijah and William...

Julia Summers PA: Reading this now. It's fun, hilariously fabulous yet taste of what you desire in a unusual read. I will post an actual review when I am finished. But so far loving the flow and the story seems to keep me drawn

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Dhira Vidhea, author of Boy Who Broke In My Window, an otherwise engaging tale of love and acceptance of the quirkiest of individuals, whose overall conception of the plot is spot-on and whose writing style is impeccable and as for her writing skills they are the best I've ever seen, tho...

Sinhala-Kella (aka Scandal Mania): Hey Fazio, I LOVED your story! The bus - I don't watch Grey's but that was vividly shocking! And the last paragraph where you said April was engaged to one man but rushed in to save another. It was sooo cute the way Jackson won April back - there were so many lovely bits - 'Shonda' (LOL!).You nee...

KBHumphrey: Fun story. It's like the author read several volumes on the future of wearables and other emerging technologies and crafted his tale around them. At some points, though, it felt more like he was unloading his research into the story, rather than allowing it to come organically.Great narrative voi...

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