Chapter 6 || Weapons Free !
A state everyone is aspiring, no matter if we try actively or subconsciously. It can be defined as the ultimate goal in life because being unconditionally happy is something that is rare and precious. Being completely, utterly content with who you are is something most of the people can only dream of.
Many people try so hard to achieve certain things and be successful because they think that pleasing others will eventually bring them that kind of happiness. They don’t realize that you don’t need all that.
We believe that life is about being outstanding and about big achievements where in reality it’s about the little things.
Listening to your favourite song or seeing the person smile who you love the most, those are the things that truly make you happy. Getting excited about small things is wonderful, I’m not even kidding.
Many people try to find that happiness in love and I could tell you that you don’t need a boy in your life and you are a strong independent woman who doesn’t need anyone which is not wrong.
I could start telling you all that stuff but there is nothing in the world that feels as good as being loved by the person you love the most. Some people have that privilege and some don’t.
Of course, you don’t need love but it makes life worth living. You don’t need a lot of things like singing under the shower, dancing to your favourite song, sunsets, summer rain or hugs but these are the little things that I’m talking about.
These little things make you feel alive and let occur a warm feeling inside yourself that you only get by doing things you truly enjoy and no money or high school diploma is able to replace that.
If you have the chance to be happy, do it. Don’t spend your time about thinking that you actually are on a diet or that you don’t need boys because some super cool quote on Tumblr quote told you so.
Get the hell over yourself. Of course, it won’t last forever but that is not the point. We are so focused on creating something permanent that lasts for an eternity whereas even were aren’t meant to last that long.
Even if there is no one to invest your love in, invest it in yourself.
A lot of people have so much love to give which they believe nobody wants and therefore they get upset but they need to realize that there is always one person that needs that love and that is the person itself.
Self-love is something important, so important that it is okay to be selfish sometimes. It is okay to care for yourself and to look after yourself.
This is the best way not to vanish in the dull and daily routine of existence.
You are responsible for your happiness, so don’t act like you don’t have a choice because you always do.
You deserve to be happy and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
A sudden scream made me snap out of my thoughts as I slandered through the rather empty hallways during lunch. I turned my head to the right when I saw four people at the end of the corridor.
As I drew closer I saw a girl with black hair and dark skin color kneeling on the floor, seemingly picking up her stuff and three guys standing in front of her, laughing their asses off.
The laughter was familiar to me and I stopped halfway through my approach as I realized to whom the laughter belonged to.
Yeah, I’m talking about Paula’s ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately...
Apparently, his God complex seems to take over his mind again which he always needs to vent on an innocent soul.
The girl on the ground stood up as she had collected all of her stuff and tried leave but Matt didn’t let her. “What’s the rush ?”
Slowly, I started to remember her face. I think I have Math together because I recall her being completely quiet and sitting in the back of class yet always writing A’s. She always spends lunch alone on the benches of our tracking field.
I’m really getting sick of Matt’s stupid behavior.
“Leave her alone already, Matt. Do us a favor and stop honoring us with your annoying presence.“, I hissed at him, causing him to turn to me and smirking at me obnoxiously.
“Oh, Jessica. Long time no see. I wish we would have had more time to spent at Jason’s party two months ago but I guess there are things in life that aren’t supposed to be.“, I slapped his hand away as he tried to touch a strand of my blonde hair.
“And I wish that your dick was just as long as your Starbucks orders, but I guess you are right, Matt, there are things in life that aren’t supposed to be.“, I shrugged and faked a sigh.
Yes, I kind of slept with Matt. That definitely wasn’t one of my best moments but I was pretty drunk and I didn’t know him at that point in time. Oh, well...
His stupid smirk slowly began to fade and he narrowed his eyes furiously. “I still have your underwear. I’d like to keep it as a little souvenir if you don’t mind.”
“And I still have your virginity but I assume you don’t want me to give it back to you, do you ?“, a devious grin spread on my as his facial expression completely fell apart.
“Dude, what the hell is she talking about.“, one of his bulldozer friends grabbed him by his arm and pulled him away from me.
“Nothing.“, he replied dryly.“Let’s go.“, he shot me a glare and made his way to the end of the corridor until turned right and vanished.
The girl was still standing motionlessly on her initial spot and looked at me blankly.“I hope he did not harassed you too much.”
“No, I’m fine. Thank you for saving me from that stupid asshole. I’m Janaína.“, she smiled at me, revealing her perfect white teeth. ” Jana for short.”
“I’m Jessica. ”
“I know.“, she chuckled shyly. “Everybody knows who you are.”
I looked at her, wondering what it was like to have no friends. That might have come off a bit weird and I don’t mean it as an insult but I have never, not even in one moment of my life, spend time alone. I always had people around me which I wouldn’t consider as friends but I wasn’t alone.
When I think about the times I have seen Jana I couldn’t remember seeing her with other people, not even once. Retrospectively, I must say that I would have probably preferred to alone.
I know that I have never been in her situation but I’d rather be alone then fake friends who, at that point of my life, didn’t consider to be fake because I simply was too occupied with myself to see it.
Honestly, I understand that all the unpopular nerds in books or movies have struggles because they think popular kids have it way better.
It’s not true, believe me when I say that it’s at least as bad.
Unpopular people complain about being invisible, well, popular people are recognized everywhere they go and if they make only one mistake they are screwed. You have a reputation and it doesn’t matter if it reflects who you truly are because nobody cares.
High school students don’t care as much about popular people as they do about popular people but in a different manner.
You can’t win because people don’t let you. You have to accept your position in the high school hierarchy and make the best out of it. Of course, you can try to become popular but that decision has to be made carefully because once people take interest in allocating you a certain label and reputation, there is no going back.
Jana turned around, attempting to leave as something slipped off of her folder. I reached down to the floor and picked it up from the ground. Apparently, it was a magazine about firearms and munitions.
My gaze wandered from the cover back to Jana who had noticed the absence of her magazine and looked at me awkwardly.
“Wow, that was probably the biggest plot twist in history. I never expected you to be into things like that.“, the bewildered expression on my face didn’t fade a bit as I flicked through the magazine.
“I certainly believe that. I never really told anyone about it, not because I’m a mysterious outsider but because I don’t have any friends to tell.“, she laughed.“My dad was in the army and bombarded me with that stuff since I was little so I pretty much became obsessed with it too and also adopted his habit of getting sometimes a bit trigger-happy.“, she explained hesitantly.
“Trigger-happy ? You ? I always pictured more as...”
“...a shy and nerdy girl who spends her whole day sitting at home and reading books ? Yeah, I hear that quite often. “, she interrupted me.“It’s technically not wrong but I guess everybody has a secret hobby nobody expected from them.”
“I guess so.“, I added. “Quick question. Do you want to come with me and spend lunch with me and friends ?”
A smile spread across her although she obviously tried to hide the fact that she didn’t have to spend lunch alone on the tracking field. “Sure.”
We made our way into the cafeteria which was full of annoying and loud teenagers. I tried to find Sofía and the rest of the group when I spotted her along with Kyle, sitting in the very back of the room.
As we reached a table, I received a confused look from both of them after they interrupted their heated conversation.
“Hey.“, I uttered. “What did you guys talk about ?”
“Hey.“, they slowly responded in unison. “It was just about Lizzie. We wanted to buy her something as some kind of gift since she is leaving tomorrow.”
Oh, I totally forgot. Lizzie’s dad got a job offer in LA which is why they have to move there. Happily, it’s only a few hours away so we can meet every now and then.
“This is Jana. I kind of saved her when she was being harassed by Matt and I asked her to sit with us. I hope it’s okay for you.”
“Of course.“, Kyle replied as he pointed at the seat next to him. “A hater of Matt is a friend of us. Sit down, my child.”
It was obvious Jana was a bit overtaxed with Kyle’s frank nature but she did as she was told.
“I think I know you from somewhere.“, Sofía stared at Jana pensively.
“Maybe it’s because we have Geography together. I’m not that visible to you because I sit in the very back of class.“, Jana rejoined.
“Sure. How could I forget.“, she put her hand on her cheek. “Don’t you sit next to that guy that was supposed to do a presentation on Florida, but instead did one about Flo Rida ?”
“Yeah.“, Jana chuckled. “That was an interesting lesson.”
“So, Jana. Tell us a bit about yourself. “, Kyle gave her an expectant look.
“Uhm, okay. My full name is Janaína Nayara dos Santos Dourado. I was born in Fortaleza, Brazil and moved to the US when I was six. My dad is Brazilian and my mom is Indonesian and a devout Muslim. I hate high school and the only reason I learn so much because I need the scholarship to go to college. I’m also fluent in Portuguese and Indonesian.”
“You forgot your passion for firearms.“, I giggled, causing Kyle and Sofía to widen their eyes.
“Are you a Muslim too ?“, Sofía asked her curiously. “Technically, yes. My mom pretty much raised me that way but I’m not really religious, neither is my dad.”
“Why do you need the scholarship ? I mean I can imagine why but you sounded pretty serious about it.“, Kyle inquired.
“We don’t really have that much money. It’s not as bad as when we moved and depended on food banks and people that donated clothes to us but we do have some struggles sometimes. It’s not that severe but you know how expensive college is.“, she smiled, trying to cover up her concern.
Although she tried to play down, I could tell that she suffered from the situation more than she would ever admit. Judging by the looks of Kyle and Sofía, I wasn’t the only one.
I was about to change the topic when Sofía suddenly decided to do it for me. “Isn’t that Alex ?”
My head immediately shot up at the mention of his name. He had just come through the door of the cafeteria, already being eyed up by half of the girls in the room.
“What is he doing here ? He doesn’t even go to our school, in fact, he isn’t even a high school student anymore.“, my eyes were following every move he made.
“I think he saw us because it seems like he is coming our way.“, Kyle narrowed his eyes, trying to recognize him.
“What’s up, guys.“, he greeted us. “Hey, Jana. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Wait. You two know each other ?“, I asked confusedly.
“Yeah, she is also in the Americas Future program. We pretty much joined it at the same time.“, Alex explained as he sat down next to me. I received a lot of glares from other girl in the room but I decided to simply just ignore it.
I’m not even surprised. She is the kind of person I assume to participate in such a program because she is really intelligent and her grades are pretty good as far as I could gather. Plus, she really must need the financial support of the program according to what she just told us. That’s probably another reason why she tries to keep her grades up. I don’t really know much about it but based on what Alex told me, if your grades drop, you immediately get kicked out of the program.
“What are you doing here anyways ?”
“I was asked if I could tutor some student at Math since your school has some kind of partnership or anything. That’s why I’m here.”
“I don’t get this whole program.“, Kyle exclaimed. “How does this whole thing work ? How do you get in there ?”
“First, someone who is already a member of the program needs to recommend you.“, Jana started to explain.
“Then the committee decides whether you are eligible or not. If so, then you need to take two tests. One is an IQ test and the other one is some kind of personality test.“, Alex added.
“Okay, test us. I want to know if my personality is as amazing and flawless as everybody thinks.“, Kyle said.
“Nobody thinks that. It’s just you. Just because your ringtone is Milkshake, it doesn’t make you irresistible.“, Sofía commented and I nodded in approval.
“Well, my milkshake does bring all the boys to yard, so jokes on you, honey.“, he snapped his finger.
“If you couldn’t tell by know, Jana, he is gay. Just in case you didn’t notice.“, I remarked sarcastically, causing her to utter a laugh.
“Yeah, but not the normal type. The cliché that being gay is all pink and rainbow is so 2012.”
“But you love pink.“, Sofía coked an eyebrow.
“No, sweetheart. Pink loves me.“, I let out a chuckle at his comment and shook my head. What a drama queen.
“Just start with the test.“, Kyle demanded.
“Okay, I will ask you a simple question and you just answer quickly and straight forward.“, Alex expounded.
“Darling, you should know that I’m not good at anything that includes the word ‘straight’, but I get what you mean. Continue.“, Alex’ utter perplexity was more than obvious at Kyle’s comment but he tried to cover it up.
“Okay, describe yourself in three words. You start, Jessica.“, he said while pointing at me.
“Lazy.“, I smirked. “Seriously, If I had a rapper name it would be Lay-Z.”
“We could start a duo.“, Sofía remarked. “Lil Soso featuring Lay-Z with their new single What The Hell Am I Doing. Coming soon.”
My gaze went over to Jana who was a bit awkwardly sitting there like a lost child. I guess she just has to get used to our humor. The fact that she was constantly laughing at our jokes is a good sign I guess.
“Okay, now you, Sofía. Describe yourself in three words.”
“I am a rebel.“, Jana grinned at her response.
“I must say that I’m impressed. I didn’t expect that kind of creativity.“, she stated.
“Okay, Kyle you’re the last one. Describe yourself in three words.”
“It’s Britney, bitch.“, he said, causing all of us to burst into laughter.
“What the hell.“, Sofía uttered, still chuckling. “Where did that come from?”
“I don’t know. You said I should describe my words in three words and I thought that this one fitted the best.”
Alex looked at his phone and suddenly jumped up from his seat. “Shoot, I need to go. I was told to be at the principal’s office in two minutes.”
He grabbed his bag and made his way out of the room.
“Do you like being in the Americas Future ?“, Kyle asked Jana after a while.
“It’s okay.“, she responded half-heartedly. “The people there are not really my cup of tea. So pretentious and annoying.”
“What about Alex ?”
“Like him, hate his girlfriend. Just because her father is rich she believes that she own the world.“, the annoyed expression on her face didn’t fade a bit.
“Yeah, I hate her too. I know both of them since I was a little child and even then she was unbearable.“, Jana raised her eyebrows.
“You know her ? You should see how Alex and her are when they are together at our meetings. It’s just obnoxious.”
I really tried not to think about it since the thought of them being together didn’t really create a warm feeling in my stomach.
“Are they that clingy ? I really haven’t seen her in ages to be honest.”
“I wish that was the case.“, her response made me prick up my ears. “For Jayla, the relationship is more a job than anything else. She sees him as some kind of trophy and when they kiss it looks like they were forced to do it. Her father sees Alex as the perfect son-in-law and prefers him over anyone. I think you should really so something about it.”
“What are you talking about ?“, I looked at her in surprise.
“Come on. I’m not stupid. I realized how tense you were when he sat next to you. It’s really interesting to see since the Jessica Weathers we all know used to put laxative into other people’s drink. You acting completely different than you used to do doesn’t remain unnoticed.“, she smirked at me.
“Nah. He has a girlfriend and I take no interest in changing that.”
Wow, I’m a really bad liar. Honestly, I used to better at that kind of stuff. Oh, well...
“Sure, you don’t”, a half smile spread across her face.
“Hey, hey. Do I have to remind you of your emotional rollercoaster during that whole Noah adventure ? You were at least as much of a coward as I am.“, she put her hands up in defense.
Now, even people I just met start to get on my nerves with that topic. It just keeps getting better and better...