Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copies left
You can choose from our best books below
AcornStorm would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

What REALLY Goes On In Cat's Heads

By AcornStorm All Rights Reserved ©

Humor

The First and Last Chapter

My cats are evil. I don't care what my mum says, they are.
I have proof, too. Like when Monty brings me something he killed in the garden. Mum says it's a gift. As if! Who would give a dead animal as a gift? It's obviously a warning.
I'm getting a bit worried now, though, because the warnings have stopped.
It was just this morning I had been sorting through my clothes and Smokey had padded up to me, looking all innocent.
I had stared into her pitiless black eyes. It was like staring into a dark abyss, like staring into the depths of hell. And mum thought they were cute.
I wanted to look away, but I had learnt looking away makes them think you're weak. They almost always attack after. She cocked her head slightly. And gave me the stink eye. The big, rotten, hairy eyeball. I shivered.
They're planning something.
Then her ears started twitching. I knew what this meant. I should, after so living so long with evil kittens. This was their way of communicating with other cats.
I was sure she was reporting me to the council of cats.

Smokey sits at my foot, purring evilly. She knows what I'm doing. "Go away!" I hiss. I try to kick her, and she growls at me before plodding away, ears twitching furiously. Probably warning Monty.

I stand back and look proudly at my work. Perfect. It sure looks a lot like cat poop. I go into my room to get my iPod, to take a picture of my magnificent masterpiece.
But what I find shocks me. My iPod is smashed on the ground. But not only that. My clothes are strewn all over the floor. My new phone and headphones are in pieces on the ground.
And there is Monty, next to my laptop. On the screen is a picture of me in bed, sucking my thumb and cuddling Mr. Tickles. Monty's tiny paw hovers, threatening, over the 'enter' button. One tap and the photo is sent to all my teachers, friends, friends parents, friends parents dogs, friends parents dogs neighbours, friends dads parents dogs friends dogs mum, and so on.
Beside him is Smokey, casually sharpening her claws. When she sees me she rests one paw on Mr. Tickles threateningly.
Her meaning is clear. If I go ahead with my plan to kick them out, say bye-bye to Mr. Tickles. And all my friends. And all my friends parents dogs. And all my friends parents dogs neighbours. I clench my fists and slowly back out of the room. I turn to the fake cat poop.
Casually, I empty it out into the bin.
Then I turn back. I know what I have to do. I look to the phone.

"I am a very important official. Is this some kind of prank call?" "No! Sir, it's true, cats are planning to take over the world. I've seen them! Hide yourselves! Form an army!"
The call hangs up. I slowly plod back to my room. They will feel guilty when cats really do take over the world.
I enter my room. And my stomach tightens. The 'send' button has been pressed on my laptop. The picture has been seen by everyone in the neighbourhood. The cats are nowhere to be seen. My room is still a sty.
And, worst of all, with stuffing spurting out, Mr. Tickles lies still on my desk, his head severed. Lifeless. I growl. This means war.


Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, AcornStorm
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

JulieJeanette: I'm only on chapter nine, but so far I am loving this story!. I am on pins and needles hoping that they find good men in their lives by the end. I am American and so the British tone and lingo ('knickers,' 'sod it' ) of the book is very appealing. I had to find out how much '12 stone' was by goog...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

nakhvavaishu: just loved it...u cant put this book down once u start reading...from the very first page it is an emotional rollercoaster....the way author has described the undescribable😉 chemistry between our very own jay n aqueela its just way tooo awesome...i just felt the love n mischievious bonding betwee...

Rebeccaseal: This was an almost perfect story that I would recommend to anyone. The only thing I would work on is painting a more realistic picture of Haiathiel. Somehow the environment seemed limited, and the land itself a bit unfinished. This can be solved simply by added descriptions to people and places. ...

Jazie Alyssa Flores: There may have been many grammar errors. But OMG this story had me on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I loved every bit of it. The relationship Sydney and Cameron had was beautiful. I loved how it wasn't a typical love story but revolved around a growing friendship and the drama that surrounded ...

Hrishitaa Kanpal: I was so excited to read tis book, I actually couldn't think pf any other thing while reading this book I was hoping for a good ending I had thought of a very sweet and beautiful ending. I also suggested my friends to read this book but when I read the ending my all thoughts were shattered I was ...

Jaslyn: I loved reading this so much!! The transformation of Nina's self-esteem was incredible to read, and while I was rooting for Parker halfway through, I was very satisfied when Harrison and Nina finally got everything straight. The side characters were adorable - I especially loved Anna, Richel, Mic...

Kassidy Duncan: This is a really sweet story, and I'm really enjoying the premise! It's cute, but also is put forward well in terms of a TV drama (as in, I could definitely see this being acted out). There were a few spelling and grammatical errors that I noticed, but other than that, it was a great read.

mcase: I really enjoyed this story. Felt drawn to Cami as a genuine person. Great characters with funny honest perspective. Many subplots made this continually interesting. I was never bored and thought the overall plot was intriguing. I do wish that some elements had been excluded, such as some extrane...

More Recommendations

Chelley McD: The author did an impressive job designing this story, from the wording to the expression, to the plot. I love the fire-y moments, and the bantering between main characters is to die for! Great job, keep up the good work!! 😘

emilia handy: THIS BOOK WAS JUST SO AMAZING?!?!!??! I couldnt make myself stop reading it. it had such amazing characters and an amazing plot twist. i suggest everybody should read this that likes humor as well as romance.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.