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What REALLY Goes On In Cat's Heads

By AcornStorm All Rights Reserved ©

Humor

The First and Last Chapter

My cats are evil. I don't care what my mum says, they are.
I have proof, too. Like when Monty brings me something he killed in the garden. Mum says it's a gift. As if! Who would give a dead animal as a gift? It's obviously a warning.
I'm getting a bit worried now, though, because the warnings have stopped.
It was just this morning I had been sorting through my clothes and Smokey had padded up to me, looking all innocent.
I had stared into her pitiless black eyes. It was like staring into a dark abyss, like staring into the depths of hell. And mum thought they were cute.
I wanted to look away, but I had learnt looking away makes them think you're weak. They almost always attack after. She cocked her head slightly. And gave me the stink eye. The big, rotten, hairy eyeball. I shivered.
They're planning something.
Then her ears started twitching. I knew what this meant. I should, after so living so long with evil kittens. This was their way of communicating with other cats.
I was sure she was reporting me to the council of cats.

Smokey sits at my foot, purring evilly. She knows what I'm doing. "Go away!" I hiss. I try to kick her, and she growls at me before plodding away, ears twitching furiously. Probably warning Monty.

I stand back and look proudly at my work. Perfect. It sure looks a lot like cat poop. I go into my room to get my iPod, to take a picture of my magnificent masterpiece.
But what I find shocks me. My iPod is smashed on the ground. But not only that. My clothes are strewn all over the floor. My new phone and headphones are in pieces on the ground.
And there is Monty, next to my laptop. On the screen is a picture of me in bed, sucking my thumb and cuddling Mr. Tickles. Monty's tiny paw hovers, threatening, over the 'enter' button. One tap and the photo is sent to all my teachers, friends, friends parents, friends parents dogs, friends parents dogs neighbours, friends dads parents dogs friends dogs mum, and so on.
Beside him is Smokey, casually sharpening her claws. When she sees me she rests one paw on Mr. Tickles threateningly.
Her meaning is clear. If I go ahead with my plan to kick them out, say bye-bye to Mr. Tickles. And all my friends. And all my friends parents dogs. And all my friends parents dogs neighbours. I clench my fists and slowly back out of the room. I turn to the fake cat poop.
Casually, I empty it out into the bin.
Then I turn back. I know what I have to do. I look to the phone.

"I am a very important official. Is this some kind of prank call?" "No! Sir, it's true, cats are planning to take over the world. I've seen them! Hide yourselves! Form an army!"
The call hangs up. I slowly plod back to my room. They will feel guilty when cats really do take over the world.
I enter my room. And my stomach tightens. The 'send' button has been pressed on my laptop. The picture has been seen by everyone in the neighbourhood. The cats are nowhere to be seen. My room is still a sty.
And, worst of all, with stuffing spurting out, Mr. Tickles lies still on my desk, his head severed. Lifeless. I growl. This means war.


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trippix1963: Not really a big surprise at the end, but it's pretty well written and fun. I liked the characters - they were more developed than in some successful published books I've read. A few typos but I've seen that in published books in the last few years.

Michelle Boshoff: A very enjoyable read.Some twists in the plot kept me intrigued. Loved reading the different POV’s.

fritzkie: a. The setting of the story is so nice. The events are arranged, the place, and the time. The setting of the story is appropriate and this story is interesting to read.b. The author used the first person point of view. Because when I read it, I feel the emotions of the character in the story. I u...

Paige Cunningham: Holy shit I love this book! 😂😂😂 I’ve never laughed so hard, been so frustrated, and wanted to cry in so many chapters all at once and have been genuinely confused. I literally threw my phone at one point (dramatic I know but you can’t blame me!) for those who love corny, cheeky, cliche romance te...

ankita singh: The story is very good and intriguing... Its make you read it and the characters are also very well portrayed.... I liked the theme and the idea.. Overall a very complimentary story.. Just love it..

yedidya_xoxox: why is there only one chapter pls update its been months almost a year

zareen andrews: This is very humorous and witty. I enjoyed it!

Allyssa: Omg, please give us more! Pretty sure I've seen this particular book on Inkitt Exclusive Reads, so congratulations on being published. The story is nearly perfect, very well written and perfectly executed. The plot is spot on, and the prose is good as well. I have to commend the author on how fla...

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viveksaji1990: The novel is altogether a fun read although there are way too many typos and spelling-grammar errors. If those could be corrected, I am willing to give a better rating and also convince people to buy the book if the book gets published. Apart from the typos, its a really fun and slightly romantic...

tinaasante871: when Max first got introduced to the story I was like#where the hell is sara#...lol... I loved every minute of reading this book... it was fantastic although I would have loved to read more about Sara and Allie's wedding.....Anyways I hope u have more of these books installed for us because you'v...

emilia handy: THIS BOOK WAS JUST SO AMAZING?!?!!??! I couldnt make myself stop reading it. it had such amazing characters and an amazing plot twist. i suggest everybody should read this that likes humor as well as romance.

AryaTara: Very fresh and interesting read. I couldn't keep it down for later. I enjoyed the way the story flowed seamlessly. Keep up the good work

deee_ro: Read this book in a couple of sittings and have kept it!!! Not one to read books again, but the story, the atmosphere, the descriptions, the humour, all right up my Blackpool street. Very cleverly written, sets the scene from the start, love how you get to really know the characters, must've look...

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