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Harry Cone: One City to Rule Them All

By Harry Cone All Rights Reserved ©

Humor

Prologue: At London’s End

It had been two years since Mr. Harry Cone’s expedition to Africa. During these years Mr. Cone has been very bored and absentminded. Playing cards down at the Gentlemen’s Society just did not give him the same thrill as before, and because he had sold all of his factories and no longer had an enterprise to run, there was nothing which could keep him occupied. There were even whispers down at the Society that Mr. Cone was developing so-called “American” attributes, something certainly not acceptable in a gentleman! Mr. Cone had even grown tired of living in his castle and of oppressing the lower classes. Disgusting! Though he had, however, bought a marvellous house in the slums of London, where he would invite other rich people to watch poor people and laugh at them. Perhaps there still existed some hope for him, after all...

“Ha! Look at that poor fellow! Look at him trying to buy food for just a penny! Ha! What does he think he will get for that, a piece of maggoty bread? Ridiculous, I say! Poor people are just too hilarious!” Harry Cone was in a really good mood now, watching poor people always brightened him. Especially now, when he was surrounded by his friends, Mr. Longteeth and young Mr. Brouney. Only Dr. Alexander Sqir was missing. Which, of course, was a shame. But Dr. Sqir was off speaking to the leader of the Conservative Party, Benjamin Disraeli. Of course, the “Conservative Party” was just the short way of putting it. Its full name was “The Royal Conservative Party for the Preservation of The Old Order of Imperial Dominion of The Globe, and The Continuation of The Traditional Way of Gentlemanly Manners. Also, This is A Great Party. Literally. Do Not Misbehave! (TRCPPTOOIDTGTCTTWGMATAGPLDNM)” “Quite a mouthful, eh?” used to be Mr. Cone’s Canadian “friend’s(?)” response when he heard the name. Used to...

Mr. Cone had, for a while now, considered doing something that is adequate for a gentleman to be doing. Hence, he considered running for election come January. But, to have a chance in such an enterprise, he would have to begin campaigning as soon as possible. One important thing to remember is the fact that Mr. Cone did not have any deeply held political beliefs in any way, shape or form, except for the fact that he wanted the Monarchy to remain, and, by extension, the aristocracy, of which he was part. He had but two goals: one was to get elected, so that no one would complain that he was developing American qualities, and the second was to annoy the Liberal Party, which he of course despised, in a number of ways.


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