{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Adam Goff would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Wish Making For Idiots

By Adam Goff All Rights Reserved ©

Fantasy / Humor

Chapter 1

Lesson 1

INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH(S):

It has come to my attention, through the reading of many stories such as the monkey's paw and many "Twilight Zone" episodes, that wishes are more likely to be received by idiots or people who are blinded by desire than those who are such sensible folk as myself. Through the watching of stories such as "Aladdin" or "I Dream of Jeanie," however, one is also able to see a pattern of not making good wishes.

Genies can be tricky. If you rub a lamp or hold an old relic that can potentially grant you wishes, keep in mind that genies and old relics have a vast knowledge of the human grammatical system and know how to find loop holes ridiculously well. After all, being stuck in a lamp or having your soul imprisoned in an old relic for 10,000 years gives you "such a crick in the neck." 10,000 years actually isn't all that long. For genies and old relics, that is. This is, of course, besides the point. 10,000 years is long enough for a genie to know that there's something else he could be doing with his time. Such as studying grammar, mayhaps?

I know what to do in this situation, and I wish to spread that knowledge with the common idiot. Be it that wishes fall upon you, use this guide as reference material. Good luck.

Lesson 1: Determining the trickiness level of the genie.

For now, we will concentrate on genies. Genies are very deceptive. They will act like your friend and then stab you in the back, literally, all while humming to the tune of 'you ain't never had a friend like me.' There are a few dead give-a-ways that can tell you if your genie is out to get you. Emphasis on dead.

1: Cautiously Contemptuous -if they use a monotone voice, or sound tired (If yes, than no go).
2: Sassily Sadistic -Whether or not they use sarcasm (If yes, than no go).
3: Feminine Fury -If they are male or female (Female is almost always a no go).
4: Confidential Con-man -If they will tell you about themselves or not (not going into detail isn't the same as not telling).
5: Horrible Hobo -If their lamp is well furnished (If not, than no go).

(To be noted; No go does not mean to turn them down. It simply means to be cautious.)

If the genie displays any of the negative characteristics listed above, proceed with caution. You can rate their trickiness on a scale of 1-5, 1 being not tricky, and 5 being oh-my-gosh-you're-killing-me. Remember, a tricky genie is an easy way to hurt yourself and others. (Deduct 1 point for every aspect above.)


Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

daneliacapote116: This was one of my favorites! When you start reading you want to continue I can't wait for the rest of the novel!! The characters where awesome! Everything was great. I encourage you to read this novel, your going to love it it and want to read it more and more !!

Alex Rushmer: This was not what I expected, but I enjoyed it a lot Malfoy was always one of the characters that I liked a lot, so I like that a lot of this happens between him and Colette. I read the first couple chapters, and I enjoyed your writing style and am excited to see where you take this story. My com...

Felisa Yoder Osburn: I really enjoyed the story. Civil War stories are some of my favorites and the intertwining of the past with current times was wonderful. I look forward to reading the next stories.

Jade Niday: This book kept me interested and wanting more. I fell in love with the characters and the plot. This book never has a dull moment. It has action, suspense and even love. Can't wait to find out what happens next

nakhvavaishu: just loved it...u cant put this book down once u start reading...from the very first page it is an emotional rollercoaster....the way author has described the undescribable😉 chemistry between our very own jay n aqueela its just way tooo awesome...i just felt the love n mischievious bonding betwee...

maewilde25: I am so in love with this story!!! captivated me till the very end, there wasn't a dull moment. Didn't particularly enjoy the lay out and some bits of info was missing along with how a 21 year old man amassed so much wealth that needed to be explained other than that and a few spelling errors, th...

littlebunnypoopoos: Omg this was so amazing! The ending was a little bad and predictable. But otherwise, I need a second book or I'll die :D The character development was excellent and the whole romance, action, and suspense was superb

mullikin902: Do not start reading this book unless you have enough time to finish it in one sitting, because you will not be able to put it down! Superlative! Addictive! Deliciously wicked characters you can't get enough of. Impatiently waiting for the sequel!

carla1234: I couldn't stop reading this book once I started! it was brilliant! I loved it and I would love to buy it. Although if you could make a more eye-catching synopsis, I would suggest you please do.I loved how everything came together in this novel. everyone, even people not involved in the main stor...

More Recommendations

ynez2005: I LOVE THIS BOOK SOOOOO MUCH!!!!Though you really need to make another book,more Princesses!!! Whoooo!!!Girl Power!!!Mabey it could even be Devona's BFF???That would make it even better!!!Plus can you pleeease make Akki come back,together with Thea and Authur amd the whole family is back!Other th...

JWalker: I loved this story from start to finish! It flows at a really nice pace and the story world feels so real. The fight sequences are a treat especially when Isanfyre is training to become a warrior. I found the names really cool and thankfully easy to pronounce. Personally I have always struggled w...

genlynne2379: I read the other review of this book and I must say that I disagree with it wholeheartedly. I do not believe the author put the apostrophes in the names just to be unique, but because the characters are supposedly of a different race than humans. They are Anmah. They should have different names a...

Catherine Kopf: Wow! This was a really great story. I really enjoy reading fantasy, so it didn't take long for me to become invested in the book and its characters like Jacob. I really liked your writing style, and it seemed to flow very well. The descriptions that you used for your world were also created n...

Hali McGowan: when will the third book be done? I am absolutely hooked. I red the first two books within less than a week. I'm itching for the third one. The plotline is absolutely wonderful. I've never been much for sci-fi ish books. but you've got me hooked on this series

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.