chapter eleven: wednesday
chapter eleven: wednesday
I pulled away from the hug and looked up at Kit. His face looked somber, and it made me worried. My mind ran wild, telling me that I had said the wrong thing and that he wouldn’t like me anymore because I was being too forward, or even worse, he’d never liked me and he was just using me. I pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to dwell on those responsibilities.
“Kit, what’s wrong?” He looked down at me, tears on the verge of spilling over his eyes.
“Lucy, there’s something important that I need to tell you, and then you will need to make a decision. I will give you all the time you need to make that decision, and I need you to know that I care for you so deeply that none of this is to hurt you, some may even say that I love you. Do you understand me?” His eyes looked straight into mine, as if trying to read me, but the only thing he’d be able to read was my own fear.
“Kit, you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” My hand cupped his face and he brought it down to his mouth, planting a kiss on it. He pulled me to him and picked me up, taking me to the bed. He took a deep breath and began telling me his story.
“I was seventeen, working three jobs to manage my mom’s drug addiction, pay back her loans from illegitimate sources, and punching the living shit out of punching bags that could be hanging from the roof or a person that was across from me in the ring. At one of my fights, I caught the attention of a man. This man is the definition of dangerous, unpredictable. His name was Alexei, the leader of the Russian Mafiosos. He was impressed with me, and he basically made me work for him, promising me that if I did, he would forgive my mom’s debts which were now supposed to be paid in blood as she had taken so long to pay them back.
“So I worked. I did all his dirty work, intimidating people, and beating the shit out of them if I needed to. I did this for four years. Almost a year ago, he told me to take the night off, he wasn’t going to need me there. So I did. And I went to a typical college party, where I saw one of the most beautiful girls dancing in the middle of the dance floor. I had seen her before, but I couldn’t figure out where from. Soon, she was stolen away from my view and I didn’t see her for the rest of the night. So I went home, stole some weed from my mom, smoked it, and went to bed.”
“The next morning, I realized why he didn’t want me there. He had sent his men to kill a woman he supposedly loved, and had it pinned on her husband. He had tried to do it before, but he was quite democratic and needed a unanimous vote in order to carry it out. With the absence of myself, some others, and his right hand man, who the murder was pinned on, the vote passed. Lucy, you know who that man was, and who the woman killed was.”
He knew everything. The one person who I thought knew nothing of my past knew everything, and even more than I could have ever known. The Mafia. My Dad was innocent. I had gone almost a year fearing my dad, believing he has a psychotic break and that he wanted to kill me too. Tears stung my eyes and I saw Kit’s hand come up to my face to wipe the tears away, but I smacked his hand away. Hurt flashed through his eyes, but it soon dissipated because he understood in a way what was going on in my head.
“Anatoly was one of the few men in the mafia who actually cared about what was going on in my life. He was and is a kind man, believe me. I never wanted any of this to hurt you, and there is more if you want to hear it..” I nodded to him so that he’d continue with his ‘tale of woe’.
“The night you found me, no one was supposed to find me. I was supposed to die. Alexei knew that as soon as I left him, I would go to the police and report what had happened, criminalizing him and making sure that Anatoly would go free. He would have none of that. As I was walking home from a night out, I got attacked. I don’t know who it was, and I don’t remember much until you pulled me out of the ground.
“But now, I’m not so sure that I was supposed to die. When we went out to the diner, there was someone taking pictures of us. I could hear the camera clicking, I should be able to, Alexei trained me to be like his own personal attack dog. I didn’t tell you anything because I didn’t want you to be frightened, and I didn’t want to ruin our dinner.
“I need you to know that being with me would be dangerous to you, because of the shit that I’ve done and because of the shit that people want to do to me. You’ve already been through too much, and I would never want to be the cause of any of your pain.” He cupped my face with both of his hands and used his thumbs to wipe my tears away.
“I know we just met, but you know more about me than anyone. We’ve literally been stuck with each other for five days, and you’re the one person I can say that I will love forever. I want you to make the choice of whether you would like me to stay with you for as long as my love for you stands or if you want me to stay away from you. In both, it’s dangerous for you, but it is your choice. If my id ruled, I never would have told you any of this and I would have continued being the selfish bastard that I am.
“Take all the time you need, while you make your decision, I’ll try to avoid you as much as I can, if you want.” He kissed my forehead and leaned back.
“Please try to avoid me for now, I’m sorry this is just a lot to take in,” My voice came out cracked and rigid, as if a robot going through puberty was saying it. Kit nodded, and walked out of the room, shutting the door after him and leaving me with my thoughts.