chapter eight: tuesday
chapter eight: tuesday
We were really on our way to Arya’s house to confront Bianca her girlfriend. On the drive over, all I did was fidget with the wheel, my heart pounding and adrenaline rushing through my veins. Kit was observing me the whole time with a smile on his face. He had clearly done this before so he was as calm as a cucumber, but I had NEVER gotten into a fight with anyone, since sparring doesn’t count as it’s controlled it’s not a full out fight. So, fuck yeah I was nervous.
“Lucy, just breathe,” Laughter laced his words, and a smirk was plastered on his face. “I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.”
“Like HELL you will, you’re still fucked up. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
“Bro, do you really think your tiny ass will be able to do something? I-” I slammed on the brakes, making his words get caught in his throat as the seatbelt jammed. “What the fuck, Lucy?”
“Fucking try me, I’m not weak, and You just made a big mistake saying that shit, watch.” My reckless driving chip kicked in and I sped off towards Arya’s house, my knuckles turning white from how hard I was clenching the wheel.
I parked the car in front of Arya’s house, storming out of the car and slamming the door. I was angry at everything, not only at how Kit had been after I was just playing, which was further exacerbated by his judgemental attitude towards my tiny stature (everyone knows us short stacks are closer to hell, so we’re vicious), but also at Bianca’s horrible treatment of Arya. She was such a beautiful person, and to see her abused in this manner made steam come out of my ears.
“Wait, Lucy! Lucy, STOP!” I knocked on the door, and as soon as Bianca opened the door, she found my fist colliding with her face. The impact probably hurt my hand more than her face, as I yelped and shook my hand in pain while she held her cheek.
“What the fuck?” Bianca towered over me and I felt all the adrenaline seep out of my body, being replaced by fear. Now I knew what Arya saw right before she would appear at my house battered black and green.
“What the fuck? Fuck you, you fucking abuser. You-” I was pulled back by Kit, who picked me up by interlocking his arms around my stomach. “Let me fucking go!”
I writhed in his arms as Bianca stalked toward us, fire blazing in her eyes. I used my flying position to my advantage, kicking her in the face as soon as she was close enough. Kit’s hold loosened on me, and I squirmed out of his grip, launching myself at Bianca whose hands went straight to my hair and started tugging. My hands went up to her face, scratching at what my fingertips would reach which was a shit move but y’know, you have to use what you have to your advantage. She let my hair go, stumbling back as blood starting to appear on her cheeks from my scratches. I moved back, and Kit pushed me behind him.
“Jesus Christ, stop! Lucy, we did not come here so you could hurt yourself, and you, Bianca, stay the fuck away from my cousin. You know who I am, and trust me, You do Not want me to come back here again.” Bianca smirked, straightening her posture and looking Kit straight in the eye.
“What if Arya doesn’t stay away from me?”
Kit’s face turned into one of calm rage, and his fist connected perfectly with Bianca’s nose, shattering the bone with a sickening crunch. My eyes went wide, my face went pale. I began to understand why Kit was buried alive. He was dangerous. Bianca writhed on the floor and Kit squatted down next to her.
“What was that?” His voice was too calm to be coming out of someone who was almost shaking from rage.
“I’ll stay away from her, just stay away from me.” Bianca sobbed in pain, and tried to scooch away from Kit.
I stood dumbfounded, my eyes shifting from Kit to Bianca. He stood up, and walked towards me, instinctively making me take a step back. Hurt flashed through his eyes, and I instantly regretted my involuntary action. Kit gestured towards the car in a little common boy nod and we both made our way to the car, this time I was in the passenger seat.He reached out his hand, my hand automatically finding its way into his. He squeezed it slightly and I flinched, pain shooting up my arm.
“Oh, fuck sorry,” His eyes went wide as he looked down at my hand, my knuckles raw from punching Bianca. He brought my hand up, blowing softly on my knuckles and kissing them softly. “Lucy, I’m sorry you had to see that. I know that you got scared-”
“Yeah, I did. Kit, there’s a lot we have to talk about, a lot I haven’t told you, and there’s a lot you haven’t told me either,” My voice cracked a little, and I couldn’t believe my brain was making the decisions, “But I think I’m ready to tell you about it, if you’re willing to listen.”
“Lucy, there is nothing I would like to do more.”
The ride to my house was silent, the only noise being the hum of the car’s engine. But it was a comforting silence. Lucy and I were there for each other in ways that I wasn’t sure I could ever be for someone. My past haunted me in the same way Lucy’s haunted her.
Today I saw a piece of her that I knew was there, but never expected to see. It didn’t scare me, it made me feel safe because now I knew that she was strong in every single way, hardened by life in a way that made me angry since she had suffered, but she was stronger for it. She was a survivor. And there lay no doubt in my mind.
I love Lucy. I love her, I love her, I love her. I can’t bear losing her, and I can’t bear seeing her suffer. And yet, here we were. About to revive our suffering and our worst memories for each other. I hoped we would be better for it.
“Lucy?” She hummed in reply, “We’re here, love.”
She smiled at me and got out of the car. I felt knots in my stomach form, my mind straying to what my Brain thought would happen. I didn’t want to lose Lucy, but our relationship, or whatever we had would not last if we didn’t open up about our pasts.
I took her hand in mine, leading her to the elevator that took us up to the fifth floor, and my apartment, no. 505. Stepping into my apartment, the disorder made me scream internally, and I am pretty sure the face I made belonged in a meme. Lucy giggled beside me and crossed the threshold into my humble abode.
“How about we talk while we clean? It’s easier for me to talk about heavy things when I’m cleaning or cooking, it makes my nerves go away a little.” Her voice was shaking, as were her hands. I smiled at her and took her into my arms, which she gratefully melted into. She took deep breaths and pulled away from me, looking up at me with those big eyes.
“Everyone’s been through shit,” she started, and began roaming around my apartment picking up stray t-shirts, putting them in the hamper. “And everyone learns from it differently, but I honestly feel like I got dealt the short end of the stick. I was lucky in a lot of ways, I had a mom and a dad, and they- they loved each other a lot, and they made sure I felt that love, too.” Her voice shook as she talked about her parents, which I knew all too well.
“But when I went into my junior year of high school, everything started going to shit and I didn’t even know it. I met a boy. His name was River, I called him Riv and he called me Lu. I loved him, and he loved me. But it wasn’t a healthy love,” She looked up at the ceiling, swallowing the tears that gleamed on her eyes. All I wanted to do was take her into my arms and comfort her, but I knew that that wasn’t what she wanted. She needed to say her part, and I needed to listen.
“He was so strong, and so.. so intriguing. Like a wounded bird, you want them to live so you let them take and take and take until you have nothing left to give. He would fight for money, and I was stuck nursing him after every single fight. He was good, but he wasn’t good enough. So he found someone he could beat in fights, and that was me.
“He never hit me, but he would beat me down emotionally and keep me so weak that I couldn’t find a way out. He wanted to trap me, and he had always said he wanted his kids to be mine, so he found the perfect way to trap me. He got me pregnant by using condoms that he had broken. I didn’t know he had done it on purpose, and he knew I was pregnant. Until I wasn’t.
“I told my mom and she helped me get an abortion. We talked about it extensively, and figured it was the best thing for me to do. I was 16 at the time. I couldn’t leave school to go to a COPE center. I couldn’t take the responsibility of another life, and I didn’t want to live with the knowledge that my child was out there somewhere in the world, maybe happy or maybe suffering. I didn’t want to take that chance. So I got the abortion. And then a restraining order.
“He tried so many times to come back into my life. Non-stop texting through any and all forms of social media, insulting me when I would ignore him, until I had him blocked everywhere. He has no way to contact me, and ever since his arrest he has no way to see me. And I don’t ever want to see him. I’ve never truly gotten away from him, and I don’t think I ever will. He once told me that no matter where I go he would always find me and make his way back to me. I’ll never forget that.
“I miss the life I had before him, I would go to parties with Arya and just live my life, but he stopped me from doing that. He made me so afraid of everything because I could never do anything right in his eyes. Kit, I hate him for what he did to me.” Her eyes met mine, full of tears and red. I ran to her, taking her into my arms as she wrapped hers around me.
“Never let me go,” she whispered into my shirt.
Did you enjoy my ongoing story so far? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Cam MartorellWrite a Review