Slightly Irritated Cats
McMeow sits alone in a little room, glaring as always. In the next room, his owners (a husband and wife) are arguing over whether or not McMeow is a good cat or a bad cat. This happens often as the silly flat-faced feline often does things he knows he isn’t supposed to; he’s never sorry either. Seeing as McMeow is a Persian, a doll-face to be exact, he is never allowed outside.
“Persians are too dumb! If you let him out, he’ll never come back!” the husband once said.
Not wanting to lose her cat, the wife does as her husband says and leaves the door closed. However, one day, the door gets left open a bit longer than usual.
“Oh, great! Someone left the door open! Stupid humans!” McMeow grumbles as he makes his way to the door.
The humans cannot understand cat-speak and do not suspect a thing as McMeow makes his little get away. He escapes the house and sets his fluffy paws on the rough porch steps.
“Ouch! This ground is too sharp!” McMeow complains, despite having plenty of paw fur to cover his paw-pads.
Another cat appears from some bushes. This tom cat is a brown Abyssinian with yellowish eyes.
“Well, would you look at that! Another slightly irritated cat!” the Abyssinian says.
“Excuse me?! You have no right to judge my irritability!” McMeow snaps.
“My name is Romeo. I like to think of myself as the head cat in this neighborhood!” the Abyssinian continues, despite McMeow’s response.
“You probably are the worst leader ever,” McMeow grumbles.
Before Romeo can say anything more, another door swings open.
“Got to go home! Bye bye!” Romeo says with a frown.
McMeow watches in disbelief as Romeo returns to his home.
“I just got out and now I have nobody to talk to!” McMeow yells, “Well, fine! I am used to that!”
The fluffy black and white cat continues down his porch steps and away from his home. The oblivious owners close the front door without making sure their cat is indoors. McMeow walks down the sidewalk and discovers a storm drain. Being curious, he slips into it and slides to the bottom.
“AHHH! I WASN’T EXPECTING THAT!” McMeow cries out.
Of course, no longer wanting to be down in the drain, McMeow attempts to jump out. Unfortunately for him, his legs are too short and he does not make it back out.
“Gosh darn humans constructing things I cannot escape from!” McMeow grumbles.
All the house cats are indoors and nobody comes to find the poor kitty, trapped in the storm drain.
“HEY! SOME IDIOT BETTER GET ME OUT! HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!” McMeow wails.
He continues meowing until he is tired and he eventually falls asleep in the deep dark storm drain.
The next morning, McMeow awakes to the sound of Romeo’s voice.
“Hey, sleepy-head! I wouldn’t advise staying in that storm drain!” Romeo yells.
McMeow gets to his feet, yawning and stretching.
“I’m stuck, you idiot! I wouldn’t stay in here if I had a choice!” McMeow argues.
“Just jump out. It’s not that deep!” Romeo yells.
“I tried! The darned thing is too steep for me!” McMeow yells.
“Oh... Yeah... I forgot you’re a Persian... Hang on...” Romeo says with a sigh.
The long legged cat slips into the drain and lands on top of McMeow.
“GET OFF OF ME!” McMeow screeches.
“Okay! Okay! I didn’t mean to land on you!” Romeo says and gets off, “There’s a handicap slope not far from here. Fluffy uses it all the time.”
“I’m not handicap...” McMeow mutters.
“Whatever. Follow me! I have so much to show you!” Romeo says, flicking McMeow with his tail.
“Don’t touch me,” McMeow says.
Romeo leads McMeow around in the drainage system until they reach an area that rises up to an opening very gradually. Romeo crawls out first followed by McMeow.
“Alright, now that we are both out, let me tell you rule number one of being outside. Never let yourself be caught in a storm drain when it is raining. You’ll drown,” Romeo says.
“Fine. I don’t like it down there anyways!” McMeow says.
“Oh! We’re going to need to circle back around... The things I want to show you are back where we started...” Romeo says.
“So where are we now then?!” McMeow asks.
“The other neighborhood. It’s a lot less fun! And I am not the head cat in that area...unfortunately!” Romeo says.
McMeow follows Romeo again, this time over the land rather than under it, heading back into his own neighborhood.
“First off, I’m going to let you see my beautiful girl...” Romeo says.
“You have a girl?” McMeow asks.
“Oh, yes! Her name is Juliette!” Romeo says.
“Oh, goodness... Romeo and Juliette?!” McMeow asks.
“That’s our names. Why does it matter?” Romeo asks.
“HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE STORY OF ROMEO AND JULIETTE?!” McMeow asks.
“Uh... There’s a story about us...?” Romeo asks.
“No! You’re named after characters from a play! My female owner reads it out loud often!” McMeow yells.
“Oh, why does she do that? That sounds silly...” Romeo says.
“Anyhow, can you guess how it ends?!” McMeow asks.
“Romeo and Juliette live happily ever after?” Romeo guesses hopefully.
“No! They both die!” McMeow says.
Romeo gasps and looks very offended.
“My owner wants me and my Juliette to die?!” Romeo asks.
“Maybe your owners are just idiots,” McMeow says.
“Anyhow... Juliette lives next door to me. Let’s see if she’ll come out to play...” Romeo says, taking a deep breath, “Juliette! Juliette! Are you there, Juliette?!”
After a few minutes of awkwardly sitting there, the door opens and a beautiful Himalayan cat slips out. The door closes behind her.
“Oh! Romeo! I thought I recognized your sweet, sweet voice!” Juliette says.
“Of course, my darling!” Romeo says.
“So romantic!” Juliette squeals.
McMeow gags as the two lovers make heart eyes at each other while saying nice things about each other.
“Juliette... I want to sing you a song I wrote...” Romeo says.
“So romantic!” Juliette squeals again while sighing and almost fainting.
Out of nowhere, rock music starts playing and Romeo yowls a song as loudly as he can.
“I’m in love with the girl next door! She’s so cute it makes me want to scream! I’m in love with the kitty next door! She’s so awesome it makes me want to die! Mer-ow! Mer-ow! Mer-ow! I’m in love with the girl next door! She’s so cute it makes me want to scream! I’m in love with the kitty next door! She’s so awesome it makes me want to die! Mer-ow! Mer-ow! Mer-ow! Oooh! So gorgeous! Oooh! So precious! I love her so much!”
This continues for quite some time and the neighbors start loudly complaining about the horrible noise coming from outside. McMeow gives up and walks away when Romeo decides to sing the whole thing a few more times. After McMeow has made it a few paces away from Romeo and Juliette, another Persian appears. This one is mostly white but a quarter of his face is black and on the other side, a quarter is orange. His tail is plain black and fluffy.
“Oh, my, goodness! A Persian! Who lets Persians out of the house?!” the new cat exclaims in surprise.
“Apparently your owners do,” McMeow grumbles.
“What?” the cat asks.
“You’re a Persian!” McMeow yells.
“Oh! Right...” the other cat says.
“I’m guessing you are Fluffy? Stupid name for a stupid cat!” McMeow says.
“Aw, that’s not very nice... Yeah, I am Fluffy...” the calico cat says.
McMeow stands there frowning grumpily at Fluffy. Fluffy stares sadly back.
“I was supposed to check out the area with Romeo, but he’s being an idiot right now,” McMeow says.
“Romeo? Oh, yeah! Well... I have quite the sight to show you!” Fluffy says.
McMeow reluctantly follows Fluffy down the sidewalk to the street corner. Sitting there is two gray cats, a silvery one and a dark gray one. Each of these cats is holding up a sign. The silver one’s sign reads ‘Man’s Best Friend’ while the dark gray one’s sign reads ‘Woman’s Best Friend.’
“Sylvia! Sylvester!” Fluffy calls out a greeting.
“Hey, Fluffy... Wanna join our cause?” the dark gray tom asks.
“Nah... But I found a Persian!” Fluffy says, pushing McMeow forwards.
“DON’T PUSH ME!” McMeow spits angrily.
“Oh, so I see... Hm... Sounds like a jerk!” Sylvester says.
“We haven’t even met him yet, how can you make such an assumption?” Sylvia asks.
“Because, Sylvia... ALMOST ALL THE CATS IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD ARE JERKS!” Sylvester yowls.
Sylvia almost drops her sign in surprise.
“Well, guess what? Neither of you are anyone’s best friend,” McMeow says.
“Not true! It’s not true! How could you say such a thing?!” Sylvia asks, panicking.
“Aw, now see what you’ve done... Err... What is your name...?” Fluffy asks.
“McMeow,” McMeow says.
“Oh! Okay...” Fluffy says.
Romeo shows up followed by Juliette. He grins when he sees McMeow with Fluffy.
“Ah-hah! I knew that when you vanished you must have been with Fluffy!” Romeo says.
“And how would you know that?!” McMeow asks.
“I just do... I know things,” Romeo says.
“He knows things! So romantic!” Juliette says, sighing delightedly.
“Do you think everything is romantic?” McMeow asks Juliette.
Juliette’s eyes revert from being hearts into their usual blue color. She glares at McMeow as though he just ruined her day.
“No. I do not think everything is romantic. What makes you think that?!” Juliette snaps.
“Whoa! Whoa... Calm down, Juliette... He doesn’t know what he is talking about,” Romeo says, purring and rubbing his face against Juliette.
“Oh, how romantic!” Juliette squeals, her eyes turning back into hearts.
“If I say something romantic, will she think it is romantic or is she crazy?” McMeow asks.
“Eh... I guess you can give it a shot, but she loves me, and me only!” Romeo says.
“Okay. Well, Juliette... Your eyes are like crystals and your fur is like snow,” McMeow says with hardly any emotion.
Juliette glares at him again with her normal eyes.
“Yuck! How could you say such a thing?!” Juliette asks.
“Oh, Juliette... Your eyes are like crystals and your fur is like snow!” Romeo says, copying McMeow.
Juliette makes heart eyes at Romeo
“So romantic! Oh my gosh!” Juliette squeals.
“Hey! That’s the exact same thing I said!” McMeow complains.
Juliette glares at him again before returning to her loving stare at Romeo.
“Don’t mind her, McMeow. She’s always been a bit crazy...” Sylvester says.
“You’re crazy,” McMeow grumbles.
“I threw up a hairball this morning,” Romeo announces.
“So romantic!” Juliette squeals.
“SHUT UP! THAT’S NOT ROMANTIC, THAT’S GROSS!” McMeow yells.
“It was a white hair ball,” Romeo adds.
“Even more romantic!” Juliette squeals.
“Anyhow... There are still more cats to meet!” Romeo says.
“I bet they are just as crummy as you guys...” McMeow says.
“This way! Follow me!” Romeo says, trying to encourage McMeow to come along.
“Well, if you ever decide to join our cause, come back and visit! We still have a few more signs to hold up!” Sylvia cries out as McMeow turns to leave.
Fluffy also turns to leave, but ends up crashing into a fire hydrant.
“AGAIN?!” he yowls.
McMeow and Romeo cross many yards including one with an orange cat with a cone around his head. The cat stands up excitedly as the others approach.
“Don’t mind him. We call him Cone-Head because he almost always has a cone on,” Romeo says.
“Hmm... Maybe it’s an attempt to mask his ugliness?” McMeow suggests.
“Hi, guys!” Cone-Head calls out.
“Keep walking, McMeow...” Romeo says.
“Awww...” Cone-Head says, disappointedly sitting back down.
Romeo and McMeow continue around the neighborhood until it is almost sunset, they stop at a house with torn up curtains and messy windows. Pacing outside of this house is a little black cat.
“29!” Romeo calls out.
“Romeo! You’ll never believe what has happened!” the little black cat says.
“Wait. Your name is 29?!” McMeow asks.
“Yeah...? Why?” 29 asks.
“WHAT A LAME NAME!” McMeow says, “What’s next, 30?!”
“Maybe... But I fear my owner no longer loves me!” 29 wails.
“I doubt they ever did, giving you a number instead of a name,” McMeow says.
“Shhh... McMeow... He’s terrified. We need to calm him down. Now, 29, what makes you think your owner no longer loves you?” Romeo asks.
“She said goodbye to all the other cats! All 28 of them! But she didn’t even notice me!” 29 wails.
“That’s too many cats!” Meow comments.
“Aw... 29... I’m sure your owner still loves you... Just make sure she notices you next time. Bite her ankles,” Romeo suggests.
“Thanks, Romeo!” 29 says, cheering up a bit.
The door to Romeo’s house swings open.
“ROMEO! WHERE ARE YOU?! COME HOME, KITTY!” the owner cries out.
“Well, see you tomorrow, I guess,” Romeo says and then grumbles, “If the stupid rain holds off. Gosh darn it, always ruining everything!”
“Whatever. I can officially conclude that everybody sucks! I hate you all!” McMeow says and storms off.
Romeo heads home and 29 watches McMeow leave.
As night rolls around, some large clouds appear in the sky. McMeow, not wanting to go home, hops into a storm drain again. In doing this, McMeow ignores the rule that Romeo taught him not to get caught in the storm drain during a storm.
At about 3 AM, McMeow is awakened by a cold wet stream trickling into the storm drain.
“Gah! That’s cold!” McMeow yowls.
The trickle strengthens as more and more water starts gushing into the drain. Panicking, McMeow soon realizes the mistake he made and swims frantically towards the gradual slope exit. More water is pouring in through this way than the other way, trapping the fluffy cat where he is.
“No! I cannot get out?! HELP!” McMeow yowls.
There is nobody to help him, however, so he has to find a way out on his own. It would have helped if he remembered which way he just came from, but being a Persian, he cannot do such a thing in such a critical moment. He turns himself around and swims in a random direction, keeping his head out of the water as best as he can.
Eventually, he finds a steep exit that he normally would not be able to jump out of. This time, having the water to elevate him a bit, he launches himself out and back to the surface where it is pouring heavily. Like all flat-faced Persians, McMeow precedes to sneezing over and over again, standing in the middle of a street. A car is slowly making its way down the street and McMeow becomes frightened, running into the nearest neighborhood. Finally, he finds a mostly dry porch to rest on and he goes to sleep, exhausted.
Quite a few hours have passed and the sun is out again. However, something wet drips onto McMeow’s head, causing him to jump to his feet. Standing above him is a huge dog who is drooling all over the place.
“Who in the heck let their dog outside?!” McMeow asks, hissing angrily before running off as quick as he can.
The large dog chases after McMeow, barking and attracting the attention of other dogs.
“Someone help me!” McMeow wails.
At that moment, the slightly irritated cats from McMeow’s neighborhood appear on the scene and attack the dogs.
“Don’t worry, McMeow! Us Slightly Irritated Cats are on the job!” Sylvia says.
“Uh huh!” Sylvester agrees.
The dogs fight back, biting and thrashing, but the agile cats are too good for them. Even Fluffy manages to mislead one of the dogs. McMeow watches, angry as usual, as the dogs get beat up so badly that they run home yelping.
“McMeow, why did you run away?” Romeo asks.
Juliette instinctively sits beside Romeo and her angry eyes become heart eyes again.
“I... I was just so frustrated...” McMeow.
“Go on...” Romeo says.
“You all seem to be able to express other emotions than just anger... So why in the heck do you even chose to be angry?!” McMeow asks, lashing his tail angrily.
“We use our irritability to get our points across. See, we were able to take our anger out on the dogs and they left you alone because of it,” Romeo says.
“But all I ever feel is anger...” McMeow says.
“Then use that anger for good, McMeow,” Romeo says.
“Yeah! You can picket with us!” Sylvester says, pulling his sign out of nowhere.
“I guess I see your point,” McMeow grouches.
“It is time we return home. Follow us. I’m sure your owner misses you,” Romeo says.
“Romeo is so cool!” Juliette squeals.
Romeo smiles at her. McMeow follows the rest of his neighbors back through the storm drain tunnel to the correct neighborhood. Most the cats return to their own homes, but Romeo and Fluffy walk McMeow all the way to his door.
“This is your house, right?” Fluffy asks, tilting his head to one side.
“Yes! Of course it is!” McMeow snaps at Fluffy.
McMeow’s female owner happens to look out the window at that exact moment and sees her long lost cat. Romeo and Fluffy run and hide in the bushes as the door opens.
“McMeow! We’ve looked all over for you!” the wife says, “We thought we’d never see you again!”
McMeow watches his owner and walks towards her. She picks him up and hugs him tightly.
“Even my husband was worried!” the wife says.
“He was?!” McMeow asks, but his meow cannot be understood by his owner.
She carries him inside and shuts the door.
“Hey, McMeow! We adopted a friend for you while you were away,” the husband says upon seeing his wife’s cat.
“You... You did...?” McMeow asks.
A Himalayan she-cat appears who looks almost like Juliette, but with brown markings instead of bluish gray ones. McMeow sees her and he smiles for the first time in his life.
Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, VioletOfCourseWrite a Review