I do not know if the police were called nothing important had been taken there was absolutely done nothing wrong. That I had been shaken nothing more this little thing whom nobody seemed to want to feel safe at all there was nothing the meaning I did not underrate or misunderstand the world was a cruel place and this was one facet of it all. That while one is cat napping it is perfection that someone jumps into the room or the bed and then takes off with the mirror as if there is someone who wants to be known that they were there. That I am now this bitter hated woman does not surprise me I had a lot of practical experience on being this mature version of that girl woman sleeping when she dreamt then her dreams shattered as if the mark on her was too intense as if the bed as if the whole room was never her own.
I often blame the balance of my mind for deeds which happened but not anymore.
Dad gave me life he said so he gave me life as he loafed around giving to others what he always did not have life.
Being an artist, he said was the better part of life.
Now most important is not the designs we have but what and how we deal with the stuff which happens to us all. How we deal with fortune as well misfortunes.
“Philosophy by a philistine?”
“I am not an ignorant philistine I have caught by experience.”
“I have broken the silence.”
“I have broken bread this is the religious festival and when I am cleansed, I may add other sins to my name.”
“let it be dad.”
“Nothing doing it is not to let.”
I have something to read he said it out loud a biography dad has no knowledge what is autobiography or biography it is his only blind spot we can argue about that for years and we have done so.
The self-induced Brando is the whole hero he has always he comes with the story of a woman who lent him his autobiography. It is an old story which I know by heart and there is not much of reasonableness in me when I hear that story because that means something to us.
If I agree he allows me to stay if I disagree that autobiography is written about him or that biography is written by Brando himself he now knows the whole thing but what he denies is that the knowledge he got from me and he resents this more than if I had become a wanton whore and done in the whole family.
This is the family hotel this is where we are the hot spot if you do anything come to our hotel and we can cater for everything for you at a right price. I thought it had to be free since family but nothing of the sort. Saw the brochure the damn thing was very expensive. The meanness of these people they do not see the expenses that life is about the cog the wheels they wheel and deal and then they take. What matters is to be useful to them. I am of use they do like useful people; I begin to see them for what they are. Behave in a useful fashion then they can be kind to one. They do like useful people. I hate them so much as much as they despise me. Their dissolute lives make me think they are no longer aware of what I feel I am feeling nothing more than contempt for the whole thing.
“Being this unkind woman?”
“Ouch no sorry must be even more useful.”
“She then took my dress off and then said I should wear it again then sent me shivering when she was doing the cancer screening. It was obvious it was her.”
“Well if I were me, I would show you round all the time.”
“I am of use as long as this happens?”
“I am not being mean when I think this is too much?”
“Meanness of it all trying to take the last thing from me.”
Taking the food out of our mouths said they the family whom I had fed all my life now they are too superior as they sit in state making statements and accounts and asking if I have run mad when I want to spend somehow the money which they have earned?
The thing is or was when did it happen? Why do they think all this when they think what is mine is theirs and what is theirs is surely their own? The ownership which they feel is in their minds. I am not budging they speak as souls who love to spoil.