I was a child who was younger than my years and I had no formal education at all. I had been working for some years and did not only make an effort but was this sober child who did have no friends I stayed indoors all the time causing more curious glances and more thoughtful people who did nothing but think we illegal migrants.
We were the pigs living life as pigs and we did not mean anything but were meant to be scum.
In the sixties most of the population was white and they did not deny they were prejudiced we were not like them we had nothing to do with them. The thing was most treated me with kindness it was only in the playground that I fought myself into a corner.
Violence eruptions made me dangerous kid.
I had a hasty temper made them all fear me. They did not only avoid me but settled on destroying me.
Back home it would begin again this extra sugary sweetness which I had adopted. The headaches began when I was almost ten.
“That is not what I meant.”
“What is it daddy?”
“Stop calling me that.”
“He is not my daddy teddy?”
“Don’t speak to that he is not listening I am.”
“My teddy listens all the time he is a good listener.”
“Why does he have a crush on you?”
“Don’t you know he does not live in the real world he does live in teddy land with the bears and the bee’s lemon groves and the oranges which blossom. “
“He has teddy tea cup and he drinks what he likes best which is hot chocolate.”
“Why does the teddy do that in a tea cup too?”
“He has no mugs.”
“What a child you are without a doubt a donut.”
“Can I have some.”
“I miss home?”
“Where they come from?”
“Teddy is home.”
“I miss house.”
“I miss home too child.” He cries in despair.
“I can’t go back to wife.”
“We loved it there didn’t we daddy?”
“Is it because of me daddy that step ma does not take you back?”
“Nothing of course she wants me back.”
“Who does she not want then daddy?”
“Shit it is okay those eyes of hers.”
“We are working on her now shish kebab tonight.”
“She does not care she is stronger than us.”
“So, sue me I won’t have you saying that about me.”
“Think about the house home and all the comforts.”
“I loved it their daddy but here can become a home too?”
“This dumpster? I will never be content until she crawls on her hands and knees demand an apology. Yes, we did pity we can’t go back there.”
“No, it is a pity we can’t move forward daddy. You are in my way.”
“Sorry but you are a flirt.”
“I am daddy.”
“Now get me a something to eat and we will not speak.”
“I can’t reach the shelf.”
“Where is your auntie, I pay that woman to work and she is worthless.”
“She is fine auntie is.”
“You like her?”
“She does ok.”
“Why she does?”
“She is funny.”
“Tells me stories.”
“Stories what kind of stories?”
“Most definitely I will shoot her.”
Daddy was always a fighting man he fought all the time when I was two I had been saying things and doing stuff generally being naughty dad does not care to be woken from his dreaming sleep so to shut me up he went high up in the air which I thought was fun then he dropped me on the floor which did not mend the situation between us. From that day forward he and I did drag it along but I knew he would not make me feel free or happy. He said he a good father but once my opinion was formed did not change it easily.
“He bad man.”
“No education for you.”
“It might spoil her?”
“Might make her fight back.”
I am a divorced man and if that is nothing to be ashamed of what is? That woman has left me this woman too when they become wives, they have things to do. A wife does leave me cold I must say. Speak to me child where is the daddy?
“Daddy is in the brown sauce.”
“Is that your father you fool?”
“Yes, it goes onto the egg and the sauce makes it nicer.”
“You will never get that sauce again your saucy child.”