How I Saved a Planet!

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“I hadn’t expected that. I really hadn’t. It’s not every day that you see a head detach so easily from a body and go rolling across the floor.” When I am summoned from Earth by an annoying blue alien named Qarl to save his oddly-shaped planet from destruction, I have no idea what to expect. His planet is in danger of being thrown away by the Great Leaders, Asdf and Jkl, and it is up to me to travel to their lair and convince them otherwise. On my journey, I encounter many weird and wonderful creatures, places, and events: from the terrifying Vielkrad to the wise old Vream, from the warring Qari and Nari to the evil Night Mare, from prophesying wasps to freethinking frogs, from cultish villagers to a naked queen. While navigating these humorous and harrowing adventures, will I be able to rescue this endangered planet from its fate and avoid being banished by Asdf and Jkl through The Portal Beyond Which No Man Awaits?

Humor / Fantasy
Stephen Quatro
4.7 3 reviews
Age Rating:

Publisher’s Note to the Reader

This manuscript was discovered, handwritten and dog-eared, in an abandoned storage unit in Upstate New York. The author could not be located, and after much deliberation, the decision was made to publish the story as written, with no alterations. We should like to note that we do not necessarily endorse the author’s views, nor have we validated the accuracy of the events he claims to have experienced.

Due to the bizarre and sometimes inscrutable nature of the writing, a few explanatory and apologetic editor’s notes have been sprinkled sparingly throughout. Our hope is that you enjoy this strange tale despite its flaws.

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