Issue #2: The Amazons
Downtown, San Francisco, CA- 7:25 a.m.
The streets of San Francisco are busy this morning, as the cars were stuck in traffic and pedestrians crowded the sidewalks. Over at a Pharmacy Store, Dustin and Artemis are waiting in front of the window for someone. As the two waited, occasionally a fan would notice Dustin on the sidewalk and would either wave at him or give him a high five for his amazing performance the night before.
(Phantom) Seems the fans are happy today. My buddy Jackson however, not so much.
"What's taking him so long?" asked Artemis.
Dustin rolls his head to the other side to look at Artemis.
"This is Jackson we're talking about here." Replied Dustin. "Chances are he's probably still extremely hungover and having a hard time trying to find the Advil."
While the two continued to talk, a random guy on the sidewalk wearing a hockey jersey notices Dustin and gets excited.
"Oh my god it's you!" he screamed. "Right? Dustin McCarthy."
(Phantom) Oh no, not this kind of fan.
"Always nice to meet fans." Dustin nodded.
"Oh man, am I the luckiest fan or what? So, I don't mean to bother you or anything but…can you please sign my jersey that has your name and number on it?"
Dustin looks at Artemis and she nudges him to do it.
"Sure, why not." Dustin replied.
The fan hands Dustin a pen and Dustin signs his autograph on the number with a little happy face next to it.
The fan reacts extremely happy.
"Ah D, you're the best man! Thank you." And gave Dustin a fat long hug.
"Uhh, anytime buddy." Dustin responded awkwardly and patted the fan on the back.
Dustin looks at Artemis, and it seems Artemis was laughing at what was happening to Dustin.
(Phantom) Okay buddy, you can stop now. This hug is, REALLY staring to get awkward. I just hope this guys doesn't…No, he didn't.
The fan stops hugging Dustin and walks away happily. Artemis looks at Dustin to notice he was seriously disturbed by something.
"What's up with you?" Artemis asked in concern. "
"I'm hoping that was an IPhone poking me in his pocket." Dustin replied disgustingly. "Because if it wasn't, I think that dude popped a boner when he hugged me."
Artemis got a little disgusted but then she smirked at Dustin.
"Well then, I guess now you know how I feel every time you hug me."
Dustin gave Artemis a dirty look.
"What are you talking about? I don't do that."
"Oh yeah, what about that time at the beach?"
(Phantom) She still remembers!
Dustin's face turned extremely red of embarrassment.
"Hey! That could have happened to any guy! You were wearing an extremely tight two-piece bikini that day! And you promised you wouldn't tell anyone."
"And I still haven't."
At that moment, Jackson exits the Pharmacy door still hungover as ever and walks to Dustin and Artemis while swallowing several Advil pills from the capsule he had bought.
(Nereid) My head hurts and my body aches, I'm definitely sleeping on the plane ride there. No way I am in the mood to anything today, nor am I in the mood to deal with Dustin's shit either.
Dustin starts to snicker.
"Feeling a little better now big guy?"
(Nereid) See what I mean.
Jackson grabs his aching head.
"I will be in a few hours."
"You know Jackson, I find it real ironic that your eel tattoos protect you from every sort of toxin in your body, except for alcohol. Who would have known?"
"Yeah, real ironic. So how do we plan on getting to Themyscira?"
"Dustin bought a small private jet this morning." Replied Artemis. "So we're heading to the airport right now to pick it up. Dustin and I also agreed we would rotate turns on piloting the jet to Themyscira so the other one can rest."
"Okay, next question. Where is Themyscira located?"
Dustin pulls out his phone.
"I texted Dick last night to see if he knew where it was and I guess he was able to get his hands on some of Batman's old files and figure out the location."
"Dick willingly did that for you last night?" asked Artemis.
"Yes ART-E MIS, Dick willingly did that for me last night…also he likes challenges and that's why he did it." Dustin points to a map on his phone of the location. "It's located somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean around this specific region."
"The Atlantic!" Jackson screamed. "That's all the way across the country."
Dustin pats Jackson's chest.
"Yep, better hope those pills knock you out."
"Was there anything else Grayson told you?" Artemis asks.
Dustin starts to think and scratches his facial hair.
"Well, he did mention about the time he whistled at an Amazon warrior when he was still Robin and boy let me tell you…"
"Stop!" replied both Artemis and Jackson.
"I think we're good." Uttered Artemis. "Lets just head to the airport."
San Francisco International Airport- 7:55p.m.
Over in one of the hangars at the airport, Artemis was dealing with the expenses of the jet at the front counter; Jackson was still in a lot of pain from his hangover and lounged on the couch; and Dustin was busy talking to two flight attendants that were off duty.
"Okay Miss Smith." Said the man at the counter. "Here are the keys to the jet and it's all yours."
"Thank you so much." Replied Artemis. "COME ON YOU TWO LETS HEAD OUT!"
"Hmmmm…" Moaned Jackson.
"Now Jackson! You can sleep on the plane. Let's go Dustin!"
Dustin however was ignoring Artemis and was continuing to mingle with the two flight attendants.
"Yeah." Said Dustin as he flexed his arm for the flight attendants. "I just won my fourth Stanley Cup title in a row last night, no biggie. So um, who here is down to fu- Yoww!"
Artemis grabbed Dustin by the ear and started to drag him to the jet. The flight attendants were shocked and placed their hands on their mouth.
"Let's go, Lover Boy..." Said Artemis with an irritated tone.
"NO! Wait!" Screamed Dustin. "I haven't asked for their digits yet!"
"There's plenty of fish in the sea Dustin."
"But I have a thing for red heaaaaaaaaaaaaads!"
Four Years Ago…
Gotham University, Gotham, NJ
In the room of one of the dorms at the campus, Dustin and an unknown person with black hair were preparing themselves to go somewhere important.
"Big day today for you McCarthy." Said Dustin's roommate.
"Yeah." Replied Dustin as he fixed up his tie. "Can't wait."
"A little bit. Richard what if I don't get drafted to the NHL at all and I'm stuck having to go here for four years. Especially during the summer."
"What's wrong with having to actually go to college for four years?"
"Because I didn't exactly get here by intelligence, that's why."
"Well, that explains why in Bio you thought photosynthesis was a type of way to duplicate photos."
Dustin squinted his eyes at Richard but continued to speak.
"Besides, if I get drafted now, I can live a life filled with riches, fame, and most of all glory."
"Now who wouldn't want that?"
"Someone crazy obviously." Dustin looks at his phone shocked. "Shit! I'm going to be late."
"Late for what? The draft doesn't even start five hours from now."
Dustin opened the door while popping some gum in his mouth.
"My little brother Sean is getting out of science camp in a few minutes and I thought since he's just as excited as I am for today's big day, we'd treat ourselves to some nice food before the event."
"Well have fun Dustin, I won't be back here till tomorrow morning so I'll see you then. Good Luck."
"Whoa, whoa whoa whoa…whoa. Where are you going tonight that's so speci-ahhh, wait a minute I know what're you're doing tonight Grayson."
"Yeah, you're going on a date with that red head I saw you with the other day. What was her name again, Tiffany? No. Brooke? That sounds close. Ashley? Okay that definitely doesn't sound right."
"Barbara! I knew I would remember. You're going out with her tonight…and not coming back home?" Dustin places his hands on his cheeks. "Hmmm, I wonder what Dick is going to do tonight."
"Have a good time Dustin."
"Right back at you Dick. I'm telling ya, this will be a day I will never forget."
Above the Atlantic Ocean- 4:35p.m.
Artemis is inside the cockpit flying the jet while Jackson was passed out on the couch and Dustin was nowhere to be seen for some reason. Artemis's eyes slowly began to shut and yawns.
(Requiem) Dazing out already Artemis? I thought you were better than this. But then again, I have been flying for quite awhile. Dustin's turn it is.
"Hey Dustin!" Artemis yelled. "Can you take a turn at flying the jet now? I'm dozing off over here…Dustin?"
(Requiem) Oh no, he better have not.
Artemis presses the autopilot button and gets up from her seat a little irritated. Artemis walks up to Jackson and kicks his feet lightly.
"Jackson. Where's Dustin?" she asked.
Jackson wakes up a little.
"Wha…Where's Dustin? I…I think he's in the back of the plane."
(Requiem) Figured he'd be back there.
Artemis nods and walks through a curtain to enter the back of the plane. The back of the plane was a VIP lounge and it was full of stripper poles and see section seats.
"Dustin?" she asked again.
Artemis looks down on the floor to see Dustin lying on his stomach with several empty mini alcoholic bottles around him. Artemis sighs in disappointment.
(Requiem) Just as I unfortunately suspected…I should have made him fly first.
Artemis kicks Dustin in the side of the stomach and Dustin reacts by slowly getting up. Dustin gives Artemis a goofy look.
"Heyyy Arte-mas." He responded. "Yu…you're not goin to be-weave dis…they have or 'hic up' I sorry WAS a mini fridge on this plane…and it contained all my favorite booze…i…in the world."
Dustin falls back on his drunken ass into a chair and laughs strangely. Artemis rolls her eyes and looks at all the mini bottles on the floor.
"That's because you requested the airline to fill this jet up with all the specific booze you love to drink. Which I am now irritated that you did."
"…Oh yeahs." Dustin uttered.
Artemis reaches down and picks up one of the bottles.
"How many of these did you have?" she asked.
Dustin started to think intensely.
"Well…how many are left in the fridge?...Arte-mas."
Artemis looks into the fridge.
"Okay good… because there were like thirty of them earlier"
"You had twenty-six shots of alcohol! Dustin I need you to help me fly this plane. God I can't believe I even thought you could…"
"Hey, hey and hey…has anyone ever told youuuuu…you look really hot when you're angry?
(Requiem) That's it. I have had enough of Dustin's shit for one day.
Artemis got extremely angry by that last statement and smacked the back of Dustin's head.
"Ow!" Dustin moaned.
"GET YOUR ASS TO THE FRONT OF THE PLANE AND KEEP WATCH FOR ANY SORT OF ISLAND BEFORE I SHOVE MY ANGRY SANDLE UP YOUR ASS!" screamed Artemis.
"Alright! Alright! I'm goings." Dustin replied as he got up. "Couldn't be that hard to drive a plane in my condition."
As Dustin stumbled to the cockpit of the plane, Jackson sat there on the couch shaking his head while watching Dustin attempt to reach the cockpit.
(Nereid) I thought I was wasted last night. Dustin really knows how to take it up another level.
Artemis appears next to Jackson.
"And don't even think about taking the plane off autopilot Dustin!" she screamed.
"Let me guess, he got into the mini fridge again, didn't he?" asked Jackson.
Artemis nods and pinches her eyes.
"Sometimes I wish he would act his age." She uttered.
"Same here. How many did he drink this time?"
Artemis sighs disappointedly.
"Twenty six! How is he not dead?"
"He's an alcoholic Hyde, remember?"
"Well yeah but that's still a ridiculous amount of booze, regardless who you talk to.
(Nereid) I wonder if Dustin has ever had to get his stomach pumped out.
Jackson looked up at the cockpit to see Dustin twiddling with his fingers in his seat but then loses his balance and falls off the chair laughing hysterically. Jackson looks back at Artemis.
"Dude is a complete moron when he's at that level of intoxication." He said. "But then again he's still a moron without it."
While Artemis and Jackson continued to discuss, Dustin got back into his seat to look out the window and it was then he spotted an island dead ahead and reacted surprised.
"Hey you…two. I think the island… found me."
Dustin laughed hysterically again while Artemis and Jackson quickly rushed up to the cockpit to see the island.
"Jeez Dustin, you can't even formulate a sentence correctly anymore." Said Jackson while he face palmed.
Artemis places her hand on Dustin's shoulder.
"I think it's best if I land the plane."
"You're a plane!...Okay, I'll get up." Replied Dustin.
Before Dustin could get out of his seat, the plane was affected for some reason and deactivated as if it was hit by an electromagnetic pulse. Artemis and Jackson are shocked and try to figure out what's wrong with the plane. Then the two instantly stare at Dustin with suspicion.
"What did you do Dustin?!" screamed Artemis.
Dustin flips out.
"Oh sure! Blame it on the damn drunk guy in the group! I haven't touched shit…lately."
Artemis shoves Dustin out of his seat and mans the controls of the jet.
"We're losing altitude fast!" She screamed. "I can't keep her in the air. Dustin! Faze us out of here!"
"Okay…" Dustin replied while grabbing Artemis and Jackson. "Here we go."
Dustin stood there still with a blank look and did absolutely nothing. Artemis and Jackson slowly look at Dustin wondering why he hasn't fazed them out yet.
"Dustin?" Asked Artemis
"Aren't you going to do it?"
"Do what?...Oh yeah that's right."
Dustin was about to faze the two out but for some reason still stood there and did nothing.
"Wait, what do you want me to do again?" asked Dustin.
Artemis and Jackson get frustrated and Jackson grabs Dustin's shirt.
"Use your damn intangibility dumbass before you get the three of us killed!"
Dustin gives Jackson a dirty look.
"Say it don't spray it man."
Dustin uses his intangibility to faze Artemis and Jackson out of the jet. The three looked down and watched the jet nosedive straight into the ocean and explode. Dustin's facial expression became sad and tears began to roll down his cheeks. Artemis and Jackson are confused.
"What are you crying about?" asked Artemis.
"I'm going to miss that mini fridge."
Artemis and Jackson both face palm.
(Nereid & Requiem) Idiot.
Dustin continued to fly above the ocean and towards the island. As soon as Dustin got to the island and was above the jungle, for some reason he started to not feel well, almost as if something was affecting his abilities. Dustin started to lose his grip on Artemis and Jackson.
"Say, since when did you two start to get heavier?" asked Dustin.
Artemis and Jackson got worried.
"You okay Dustin?" asked Jackson.
"I don't know… I feel like I'm losing my strength and grip for some reason."
Artemis looks at Dustin.
"Dustin I swear to every damn Greek God, if you drop us I will…!"
Before Artemis could finish her statement, Dustin drops Artemis and Jackson by accident and the two fall straight down into the jungle.
"I'm killing you for this Dustin!" Screamed Artemis.
Artemis and Jackson crash into several branches from the trees and eventually land on the ground. Dustin looks back in embarrassment.
Dustin was about to turn around but for some reason his ability to fly wasn't working anymore and slowly descended into the jungle.
Dustin crashes into several branches from the trees and lands straight into a fat puddle of mud.
"Ow." He uttered in pain.
(Phantom) So not schway.
Artemis and Jackson are getting up from being dropped at a different part of the jungle. Jackson gets up and takes a stick out of his dreads.
(Nereid) Well, despite being dropped to the ground from several feet in the air and crashing into several tree branches, leaving my body with several bruises and cuts; at least I don't have a hangover anymore.
Artemis gets up extremely pissed off with a twitch in her left eye and uses her arm to brush the leaves off her body.
(Nereid) Uh oh, I think I'm about to get an earful of Artemis's complaining in Three, Two, One…
"I'm going to kill him Jackson!" Screamed Artemis. "His alcohol problem has screwed us over for the last time!"
(Nereid) Maybe not the last, but something in my gills tells me this was different.
Jackson cracks his neck.
"As I much as I want to take my frustration on Dustin's stupidity." He replied. "I feel like the alcohol was not the reason for him 'accidentally' dropping us."
"What do you mean?"
"I know Dustin is incompetent to do the most simplest tasks when he's drunk or in some situations sober but I don't think he would intentionally drop us like that. Especially due to the fact he has super strength."
Artemis crosses her arms.
"Alright Jackson, then what do you think happened?"
"I'm not completely sure."
(Requiem) Well that was a great a way to start your argument Jackson.
"But hear me out Artemis, to me it seemed like something was causing Dustin to not be able to use his strength."
"That's not really convincing Jackson."
"I know it's not but just trust me. Let's just find Dustin first and then we'll discuss with him about his…problems."
"That is if we find him first. Remember we're on an island full of ancient Amazon Warriors, the chances of Dustin running into them are so high."
"Then let's hope we find him first."
(Nereid) I really hope Dustin doesn't try to do anything stupid if he does run into them. Because he's still really drunk, and when Dustin is really drunk and is exposed to extremely beautiful women, there's only one thought in his mind. Mingle.
Artemis and Jackson quickly venture through the jungle.
Over on the other side of the jungle, Dustin is still in the puddle of mud he landed into earlier. Dustin slowly gets up and stumbles a little when he tries to keep his balance.
"Whoa." He uttered. "I'm still…hammered? Damn I ne-ed to lay off the booze…Oh who am I kidding, I love booze…But not as much as tree."
Dustin notices his shirt is completely ruined with holes and mud stains.
"Well this shirt is no longer…any use to me."
Dustin rips his shirt off to reveal his crazy fit body and does a little stretch. Before Dustin could go anywhere, the sound of women laughing is heard nearby. Dustin gets curious.
"Could it be?"
Dustin goes through some of the plants in the jungle to discover a waterfall full of Amazonian women swimming and bathing, naked. Dustin's eye's became dinner plates and then bit his knuckle in excitement.
"Oh good lord, I think I died and went to super model heaven."
Dustin makes a fat grin on his face and walks to the waterfall casually, not realizing what sort of consequences he might face.
"Ladies." He said confidently. "Who wants to see a real man's body?" Dustin flexes his biceps. "POW! POW!" and then his abs after, "Shazam!" believing something positive might to happen after. "Like what you see?"
The Amazons instantly reacted hostile and one blonde Amazon grabs the nearest spear and points at Dustin.
"Intruder!" she screamed. "Arm yourselves!"
The Amazon threw her spear and it pierced a tree next to Dustin's face. Dustin is shocked and looks back at all the Amazons, who were putting their clothes back on and arming themselves. Dustin smirks as if he's confident about the next action he is about to do.
"Alright ladies. I see where this is going. I don't like where its going but I know WHERE its going. Now, I don't want hurt any of pretty goddesses."
Dustin stares at a red headed amazon with short hair aiming a bow and arrow at him.
"Especially you, I have a thing for attractive red heads. But I must warn all of you…I have incredible abilities…and a 2nd degree black belt in Wing Chun. Now I don't want to fight you dimes…but if you want to be difficult, I will be forced to take you all down…with this amazing power!"
Dustin tries to show off his Phantom energy but for some reason nothing happened. Some of the Amazon's reacted confused while some of them started to laugh. Dustin got embarrassed while staring at his hands and then got really worried.
(Phantom) DAFUQ? What do I do now?...IMPROVISION!
"Okay maybe not. But I have the reflexes of batman, and the speed of the Flash. You'll never hit me with that arrow."
As soon as Dustin finished his taunt, the Amazon with the red short hair released her arrow and it struck Dustin's leg instantly.
(Phantom) Time Out! You're probably wondering why I haven't felt any pain in my leg yet so let me explain to you in probably the best way possible I can. You see normally a person would be screaming in pain from taking an arrow to the leg but because I was still extremely intoxicated from before, it took me a few seconds to even realize an arrow had struck my leg. Let's see how I deal with this. Time In!
Dustin looked at the arrow that was lodged in his leg, confused as to why he hasn't felt anything yet.
"Ummm, well. I expected this to hurt a lot more. Why haven't I felt…Oh yeah that's right, my old friend alcohol. Making me invincible since High School."
At that moment several Amazons picked up their bows and arrows and prepared to open fire.
(Phantom) Time to go.
Dustin took out the arrow and quickly turned around and ran into the jungle screaming while all the Amazons chased him down with their weapons.
Over on the other side of the jungle, Artemis and Jackson were still going through the jungle when they heard the sound of someone screaming. Artemis turns around.
(Requiem) That was definitely Dustin, no guy screams like a bitch but him.
"That sounded like Dustin and I think he ran into the locals already." Artemis said irritated. "Jackson lets start heading over to that area now."
Jackson backed up and pulled out his water sabers while his eel tattoos glowed bright.
"I don't think he's the only one that ran into the locals Artemis." Replied Jackson.
Artemis looked over in the plants and noticed several Amazon warriors had surrounded the two. Artemis nudges Jackson.
"Lower your weapons Jackson."
Artemis walks up to the Amazons.
"We surrender. Just don't hurt us."
One of the Amazons who was tall, bulky and had a red ponytail walks up to Jackson.
"Your weapons, please."
Jackson looks at Artemis and Artemis reacts by nodding. Jackson pouts and hands his water saber handles to the Amazon. The Amazon smirks.
Two Amazons walk up to Artemis and Jackson and lock the two up in shackles.
"Now take them to the palace. So we may discuss what to do with them."
The two Amazons shove Artemis and Jackson and the two began to walk with the group of Amazons.
Back to the other side of the jungle, Dustin is running for his life and struggling to get away from all the Amazons he accidentally pissed off earlier.
(Phantom) Uh oh. I think I'm going to puke…going to puke…I'm puking.
Dustin turns his head and unleashes a large amount of vomit out of his mouth while still running for his life. Dustin wipes his mouth and looks behind him but instantly ducks when an arrow almost hits him in the face.
"Damn!" he yelled. "You women are super freaks!"
(Phantom) You know, this would probably be the hottest thing that's ever happened to me. If it weren't for the fact they were TRYING TO KILL ME! And why aren't my powers still working, I could really use them right about now.
Another arrow came in and shot Dustin straight in the ass cheek.
(Phantom) You see what I mean!
"My ass! My beautiful ass! Why is it I feel the pain now!...Oh my god, I think I just figured out why they call it pain in the a-ahhh!"
Dustin accidentally stepped into a trap and gets snagged by the leg and hung upside down by a tree branch. Dustin struggles to try and get out of the vine but then stops to realize all the Amazon warriors had already surrounded him. Dustin smirks.
"Oh what the hell, this is probably the hottest thing that has ever happened to me before."
The blonde Amazon from earlier gave Dustin a dirty look and knocked him out with the handle of her sword.
"Men." She uttered to herself. "Take him to the cells Sisters!"
Captured! What will happen to our heroes now?
Next Issue: Who is Artemis Smith?