I don't know why I woke up at 4 today and sat at the end of my bed. I looked through the window and I could spot my beautiful mom kissing me in the clouds. She looked soft and gentle. The sky was dark just like my heart has been for the last 15 months. It still makes me hurt inside that she did not even urge to tell me about her serious cancer suffering. She was my everything. She died in 1992, and gave me a letter which spoke:
"My dear Jin,
I know I was cruel for not telling you my weakness. Let's just not talk about this, think about your life. I didn't want you to be a depressed little boy. You love me, I know and I feel that. I love you too, but there comes a time when we really have to grow up; grow up and head towards our big dreams. I just want you to excell in life. Don't think about me, that'll just make you sad, I don't want you to be sad all because of your mom, who will be more sad seeing you sad. Just don't. Keep smiling, little boy.
Your dead mom,
That twentieth day of March, seemed like my dead end. I used to cry in my bed and cry and cry more. I hated my dad, he never treated me like his own son. Now I just had that dumb guy, my dad, Jake with me.
I again crawled in my bed for a long sleep this time. I just closed my eyes, when I realised someone was tapping the door. I looked at the clock, it was 7 now! I had been looking to the dark sky for three hours? I was a bit scared because my dad never woke me up or knocked ar my door. The tapping was now harder. I jumped out of bed and saw my dad standing and faking a smile at me.
"What dad? Did I broke your phone? " , I asked as he was staring and still smiling. He never showed that he was at a loss after Diana's death ; more that he liked it.
"Jin, we need to have a talk today. It's just going to improve you. " Was he talking of improving my life? He must improve his words. But I need to listen. I wasn't that bad and never tried to make him think that I hated him, knowing I really did. " O sure, dad, just sit here, I'll brush and come."
I grabbed my brush and started brushing. I got a glimpse of his, on the mirror in my front. He was happy and excited to inform me something, which I guess, was good enough for him. My head was in a whirl and straight away, I splashed cold water ony face, making my face ants. I went to the bed and sat facing him with a little pillow in my hands, so that I could hide my face if I felt crying.
He let the words slip, "Jinny, we are going to New York City and one more thing, you're gonna have a new, beautiful than the old one, a nice mum." I was astonished. Did he just wanted to leave this place? This place was extremely cosy for me and I loved it. No dad, that's unpleasant. NOO!
I stared in his brown eyes, and his face really showed he was serious. He was planning to leave Amsterdam? I let my mouth hung open wide and shut it when I realised I looked ugly.
I said, "um..d.. da... dad.... You why to leave for New York with a beautiful than the old one, mom? " He said creating an ache for my stomach, a yes. He did not looked at my face and went out to the kitchen for breakfast. I let the pillow cushion my eyes Aqand cried. He was bad. Then I uncovered my face and smiled. Whenever I used to cry, I used to get that kind of feeling: oo,i look beautiful when I cry. So I winked at myself in the mirror and smiled. But I remembered that I had more things to do. Jeez, I have no time to cry.
I grabbed some clothes which I had chosen yesterday and left on my chair. I went in the tub and sanked in it. It felt so nice till I realized I was wearing my $60 watch , on the hand which was in the tub. O SHIT! I took out my hand steadily and noticed it was not there. I never took it off, so everytime I felt I was wearing it. Thank God!
Wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, I headed towards the kitchen and picked my bowl, which contained chocos , but sad, it was all cold. I sat on the table and I realized dad wasn't there. I stoop up and sneaked at every room, he was nowhere. Then I found a note kept on the table with a chocolate which said:
Good morning again, dear.
I am going to your new, beautiful than the old one mom's house. Enjoy your breakfast. I'll return Tommorow at evening. Stay well and don't dare call me. Understand my longing.
Your Calm Dad.
I was not feeling anything since he had done it many times. He had left me home alone for 5 weeks because he went to Detroit to meet his sick friend. That was fine but this happened a year ago, so, I was a bit nervous. I thought of skipping school, my dad wouldn't mind. I texted Troye : Skipping school. Collect something if important. xJin.
He replied within a millisecond : Sure, bro. I ate my breakfast and as soon as I finished, my phone beeped: message from Karl.
Skipping school? Me too. Come at my address, we'll watch 'The golden sword' . Pizza - you'll bring. I loved, loved, loved The Golden Sword, even more than Karl, so I decided to go. I flipped my clothes and sneaked my body into a hoodie, which had the poster of The Golden Sword.
I reached his home near 11, still the sun was burning and I....... I almost melted. I stepped inside the house and heard someone screaming with all their might, "I told you not to do this again, brat!". Then it flashed my Mind that I should be out, so I went out of the small red House. I pressed the bell, a smiling lady greeted me but I could find sadness all across her face. She seemed like she had been crying whole day. I smiled back, giving my nicest of smiles to enlighten her mood.
I went inside, Karl came out of his room and was in a real hurry. He had a fresh, dark mark across his eyebrows and eye. I changed my face to a torn face, so as to support his sadness. But yeah, the mark was brutal. I said, "Why, what is this?". He sighed. He then lightly opened his mouth and let the words come out, "That doesn't mind. My dad did that. I did something which he hated." I gave a WHY face to him.
I could see sadness all across his face. He had never been so sad. He said, "I went at Brent's. " He sighed and continued, "He hate Brent because he wore a Gray T-shirt, which he hated" and burst into laughing. I could not help but laugh. He again said, "Kidding, bro. My dad's not home. That's my mom's cosmetics. Whoop.. My dad will never do things like these." And we headed to his bed.