WE SPENT THE next few minutes in silence just wrapped up in each other and not saying anything. I was glad that we didn't need words in order to know what exactly each was feeling or wanted to say.
"Do you think we should read now?" I asked. "Or maybe later?"
Nick shrugged but nodded nevertheless. "Yeah I think we should do that otherwise I might not be able to keep my hands to myself any longer," he said with a smirk as I got out of his hold.
"Seriously!" I exclaimed.
"I'm a growing hormonal teenage boy, it's not so hard to believe I have such thoughts," he replied with a casual shrug and ran a hand through his hair.
I couldn't believe he just said that and he had no remorse whatsoever. I shook my head and grabbed my book from the ground as I opened it up to the first page.
"Do you even like reading?" I asked as he picked up his book and began reading.
"I'm not obsessed with it like you are, but, I do enjoy a good book once in a while," he answered. "Especially if it's a Jane Austen classic."
I turned around and looked at him. "You're a Jane Austen fan then?"
"But you love her books."
Nick scoffed, "which part of my speech did I mention me loving her books?" he inquired.
"You...but, ahh." He was right, he never said he loved her books.
We fell into a comfortable silence as we both got roped into the magical world of reading. I was deeply drawn to the world of fallen angels, love, betrayal and so much heartache that by the time I was halfway through the second book, tears were rolling down my face and I couldn't stop them.
"What's wrong?" Nick asked as I sniffed.
"This book, I can't believe that Luce and Daniel went through so much just so they could be together," I replied as I wiped my tears.
"That's what has you crying?" he cocked his head to look at me better. "I thought you were in pain or something and I got worried," he said seriously.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you," I need to calm down from all these emotions. "It's just that it's a really good book and I'm in love with Lauren Kate's writing, I think she may be one of my new favourite authors."
Nick looked at me intensely for a moment before a laugh fell from his lips.
"Mind sharing what's so funny?"
"Not at all," he replied. "You are what's funny."
"How am I funny?"
"You just cried over a fictional romance book about the back and forth of an asshole angel and a very inquisitive girl who always died in each life," he laughed. "You are the most ridiculous person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing."
I could not believe he just called me ridiculous. "I am not ridiculous and it's a really good book, you should read it before you jump to conclusions."
"I have already read it. In fact, I read the whole series and trust me when I say, it was a waste of a good weekend," he replied.
I looked at him perplexed. He didn't have to do that for me. My heart swelled up at that.
"I even watched the movie which by the way, I regret. Nothing lined up."
I placed a hand to my chest at his brutal honesty. "I thought you said you don't read that much?" I asked cocking my eyebrow at him.
"I have my moments," he shrugged casually.
A smile made its way on my face and I fought it because I didn't want to appear weak in front of him. Though I knew I was far gone by this point.
"But yet you're giving all sorts of praises to Pride and Prejudice?"
"Mr. Darcy was smitten by Elizabeth the very first time he led eyes on her. But then his ego and pride made him a complete jerk to her. While Elizabeth on the other hand was driven by prejudice and never once sort to see what he did and why he did it. She always jumped to conclusions without hearing from his side," he shrugged. "Now that, my darling girlfriend, is what makes a book a good read."
A strange feeling swelled up inside of me at the way he called me his girlfriend. He only ever said it once and I didn't mind him saying it over and over again.
I scoffed, "Please, Mr. Darcy was a bona fide jerk and nothing you say can justify his rude attitude towards Elizabeth," I countered.
"We are not arguing about books right now," he said.
"Why not? Afraid your opinions might be flawed and you will finally see the light?" I teased.
A cackle escaped Nick's lips. "Please, I'm trying to protect you from more heartbreak after reading that crap," he said pointing to the book that was spread out on my lap.
"We are having this conversation."
"Fine! Suit yourself. But it's your funeral."
We spent the next hour and half going back and forth over who was a better writer: Austen or Kate. I was beyond frustrated with Nick but more importantly, with myself because he made such valid points about both writers.
A rain drop fell on my forehead and I looked up to the sky to see that the clouds had turned grey and it would start raining full on any minute from now.
"I think that's our cue to get back to the hospital," Nick spoke as if reading my thoughts. "We can't have you out in the rain with your condition."
For some reason, that sentence bothered me a lot. I didn't need everyone to keep reminding me that I was sick or that I might not make it out alive in the surgery room.
Nick folded the blanket up, stuffed it into the bag and hooked the bag over his shoulder as he held my hand in his other. We speed walked out of the park and I could slowly feel my body letting go from all the chemo.
I stopped stopped in my tracks to catch my breath from all the walking.
"Hey what's wrong?" Nick asked as he stopped walking too.
"I feel really weak and I can't keep going," I replied as the rain poured down on us.
Nick hoisted the bag over his shoulder and picked me up bridal style.
"W-what are doing?" I squeaked.
"What does it look like?" he asked, "I'm your prince charming here to the rescue," he added a wink as he walked us to the hospital.
I buried myself into him and let his cinnamon and vanilla scent engulf me and all my senses.
He stopped walking when we reached the hospital and he gently placed me down onto my feet.
I thanked him and turned to head inside when his hand gently wrapped around my wrist and turned me to face him.
"What-" his lips were on mine before I could finish my sentence.
"What was that for?" I asked when he pulled back and placed tentative hand on my cheek.
"I've always wanted to kiss someone in the rain," he replied with a cheeky grin and ran a hand through his wet hair.
"Wake up sleeping beauty," a voice said gently nudging me awake.
I stirred and pulled the covers over my head as I buried my head further into my very hard pillow.
"Wake up, my arm is getting numb from all your weight," the voice spoke once more with a whine.
I sprung up from my sleep to see Nick lying next to me on the small hospital bed with half my body on top of his.
"Sorry," I said and moved away from him.
"It's okay, you're not heavy at all," he smiled, "you're mostly all bones so don't worry about it."
I smacked him on the arm as he laughed at me. "I'm not bones, I've got meat too," I whined but he continued laughing at me.
"Hate to break it to you love, but you've lost a significant amount of weight these past few days," he spoke as he wrapped his hands me and nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. "We need to put meat back on those bones after the surgery."
I sighed as I wrapped my hands around him. "If I make it," I murmured.
"What did you say?" he asked.
"Nothing," I replied.
We stayed wrapped up in each others arms and it felt good to be in the arms of someone you loved and even though he didn't say it back to me, I still love him and I don't know how or why, but I fell for him and I fell hard.
"Do you want to eat something?" he asked quietly, "because I am hungry."
I nodded my head and Nick pulled away from the embrace. "I'll be right back with the food," he said as he put his boots on and walked out of the room.
I was left alone with my thoughts. Thoughts that revolved around the surgery which was less than a week's time away.
What if I didn't make it out alive? What then? Stop being negative and such a pessimist, my subconscious said. You promised you would be more optimistic about it.
"I have food," Nick said as he walked through the door and plopped onto the bed.
That was all it took to get my mind off of my negative thoughts. I moved over and he crawled into the blanket with me before he handed me my food and pressed play on the remote. A cheesy rom-com movie was on and even though I despised them, like really, seriously, deeply despised them, I found myself imagining how my life would be if it were a cheesy romantic comedy.