I sighed, drawing the blanket around myself tightly. A day had already passed and I couldn’t get over the awkwardness of Travis’ kiss yesterday. Sky had bombarded me with questions but I had refused to answer her.
I groaned at the sound of my phone buzzing on the reading table for the hundredth time.
Why can’t she leave me alone? I thought, rolling on the bed, restless. The phone buzzed for a while before dying off. Sky didn’t bother calling again, making me drifting in and out of sleep. I opened my eyes at the sound of a turning key. I shut them tightly again, not wanting to face Chris, I’ve been ignoring all his calls.
“Alex?” Chris’s voice asked from the living room. I threw the covers over my head ignoring him.
“Alex, I can hear you,” Chris said as I heard the knob of the bedroom turn.
“Alex, come on. What is this? Hide and seek?” Chris chuckled as he pulled the covers away from my curled up body. I turned away from him hugging a nearby pillow to myself. I heard a sigh from behind me, and then the feeling of the bed sink as Chris’ hand caressed my hair.
“Speak to me. Sky’s been calling me all day. She said you were acting awkward when you left her place,” Chris said, brushing my bangs away from my forehead. I felt my lips quiver in memory but I didn’t answer him.
Chris didn’t ask me anything afterward, just curled up beside me and hugged me to himself. That’s why I liked him, he wasn’t nosy like normal people and gave me space when I needed it.
We stayed like this for a while. I started to sob quietly. Chris rubbed my back and made little cooing voices to comfort me. My sobs turned into occasional sniffles. My head hurt, and my eyes stung from crying too hard, I stirred in Chris’s arms, my body a bit stiff for staying in the position for too long.
“Are you ready to tell me what happened?” Chris asked, still rubbing my back to ease me. I nodded turning to face his worried gaze. I didn’t say anything yet, just buried my head in his chest in shame.
“It’s Travis... I don’t know how to explain it...” I muttered, my voice trembling. Chris must have sensed that because he hugged me closer. I almost felt bad I didn’t reciprocate his in-depth feelings.
“Just try, I won’t judge,” Chris said in encouragement, pulling my head away from his chest so that I was looking squarely at him.
“Okay, so I was going to end the game yesterday. You know, kiss him and all but the tables kind of turned,” I said, brushing Chris’ shoulder with my mine. I didn’t feel like explaining this. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be all right.
“In what way?” he asked, giving me a questioning look. I shook my head, sighing. I had to tell him eventually.
“I don’t know. Sure we kissed but,” I paused, scowling. The memory was quite hurtful. I haven’t been so scared in my life.
“But what Alex? You have to talk to me,” he said, his voice gentle as he brushed my teary eyes.
“He was rough. It was as if he wasn’t even listening to me. I was scared out of my pants. His kiss was so, so—”
“Savage?” Chris offered, and I nodded closing my eyes. I heard a sigh. I moaned at the feeling of Chris pecking my eyes that were threatening to burst from tears. It might have sounded ridiculous that I was scared of a kiss. But Chris understood. He knew how I hated things that weren’t predictable, or thing I wasn’t able to manipulate. He would know since he felt the same way about a lot of things.
“End it,” Chris said, kissing my forehead.
“I’m already halfway—”
“End it. He’ll hurt you if you don’t,” Chris said firmly. I nodded, snuggling up to him, shivering continually as he kissed the side of my neck. Chris was right, I should stop.
“Stop crying now,” Chris said, making me blink. I hadn’t realized I was still crying. I sniffled, blinking to clear my eyes of tears.
“That’s better,” Chris said, turning my face up for a kiss. I mewled into it in delight. They were so different from Travis’. It was gentle, sweet and predictable, he made the gesture and simply waited for my return before making another. Travis’ kiss was more like he was trying to eat me and savor me at the same time. I didn’t like that and it scared me.
He continued to kiss and nibble me softly, making me forget why in the world I had been crying.
“Make me forget...” I trailed, kissing the side of his mouth. He nodded running his hand up and down my chest, gently moving our positions so he was on top of me.
We stayed like that for the afternoon; kissing, nibbling, touching.
“Do you want anything?” Chris asked from the bedroom door. I shook my head curling back into the sheets. He was going to grab a cup of water for my medication in the kitchen.
“Okay then, I’ll be back soon,” I heard Chris say, followed by the sound of a closing door. I sighed remembering I had coursework to do. I’ve been feeling all weird and panicky that I forgot about them. I’ll do them later in the day, I’m already halfway through.
Chris came back and helped me take my drugs. The medicine usually distorted my thoughts from now and then, but my mum was convinced they worked.
Chris had also ignored my demand for nothing and had come up with a bowl of noodles. I ate them sitting up in my bed as Chris read to me.
“This is ridiculous, where in the world did you get this book, Alex?” Chris groaned closing the book, but careful enough to bookmark the page with his thumb. I shrugged, chuckling lightly.
“It’s not that bad, it’s actually funny,” I said, making Chris roll his eyes in disbelief. My decision to try reading chick lit was obviously not okay with him. I moved in the bed a little till I reached the edge where Chris was seated. Planting a small kiss on his bare shoulder I rested my head, holding the empty bowl of noodles in my hands.
Chris sighed, turning to kiss my hair. I kind of disturbed me how much I liked to be with him. He could hurt me if he wanted to, he’s a very charismatic and scheming person, I doubt he could blink without thinking it through. The idea soon got me smiling. My boyfriend, the caring, scheming, OCD patient who couldn’t draw to save his life.
“What are you thinking about?” Chris asked, distributing my thoughts.
“Just you,” I said, making Chris’ eyes widen in shock before he began muttering uncontrollably. I laughed, taking his hand in mine. He was always like this when I said things he didn’t expect. He says it’s because he ‘loves’ me.
“What? Can’t I think of you anymore?” I asked teasingly.
“Y-you can, I... don’t say things like that!” Chris stammered in frustration. He was clearly fluttered and jumpy. I was about to say something when my phone buzzed on my reading table. I stood up to get it before Chris could offer. It could be Sky again or my mother.
I dropped the empty bowl on the table and unplugged my phone from the charger. Surprisingly the texts were from an unknown number.
How does it feel when your tricks backfire?
Die you fucking fairy.
I read the message once, two times, then once again. Racking my brain for a while I figured out who it was. Really, did Travis say something to her? Had he known I was playing him all along? Was yesterday some sort of twisted payback?
I stared down at the message feeling weird and confused. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself. I hate those two feelings; I hate not being in control.
“Is something wrong?” Chris asked from my bed, his voice filled with concern. I nodded walking to the bed to show him the text. I would have hidden it, told him nothing was wrong, but that’s not how our relationship works.
“Do you know who did this?” Chris asked, taking the phone from me. I sat on the bed shaking my head.
“But I have an Idea,” I said, thinking to Sam. It was the only reasonable explanation. She’s the only other person I’ve messed with that hangs around Travis.
“Is it anyone I know?” Chris asked, looking at me with honest sympathy. If any other person had looked at me like that, I would probably have thrown a bitter word or two to disorient their pity, but it was different with Chris. I liked that he cared, and I didn’t feel so weird being vulnerable around him.
“Yes, that girl that kept on sending you hate mail when she found out we got together,” I said, referring to Sam. He sighed, pulling me into a side hug.
Messing with Sam had been a good and bad thing. She changed the bitchy attitude she used to carry around in sophomore year. But something happened that I didn’t quite expect. She started spamming my email and messages with pleas to go out with her, give her a chance. I had blocked her number, having peace for about a year. Then she found out about me and Chris and started sending him threats and insults. He had blocked her, and now it seems she has a new number.
“I’m going to reply.”
“Don’t do that Chris, leave her in the dark, and let her feel ignored,” I said, taking the phone from him.
“At least block her,” Chris said, watching me lock my phone.
“Not yet, I might still need the information.”
Chris just gave me an odd look before sighing.
“Fine, but if she starts to bother you too much do it,” Chris said, sounding like an overprotective boyfriend. I laughed, making him give me the ‘it’s not funny’ look.
“Okay, I’ll block her if she bothers me too much okay?” I said, making Chris nod in relief.