The chorus of the word from both the players on the field and the dots of people that came to watch the practice made me smile. I could spot Travis on the field, running around in the blue soccer uniform, and socks that carved his calves out properly.
I felt my face warm up at the thought, looking away from him as he ran towards his teammates and the game continued. I was sitting on the grass, watching him play from my spot. He’d turn towards me, and do tricks with the ball that got his teammates annoyed.
He’s such an idiot, my idiot.
I watched them play until the practice was over and I got to walk home with Travis. He’d changed into regular clothes and was now holding my hand as we walked about. It felt nice – holding his hand and knowing he didn’t think too much about it. I wasn’t sure if he’d noticed, but it’s something he’d eased into. What happened a year ago, and the situation of his coming out had made him act a bit odd before.
“Will Chris’ sister be there now?” Travis asked out of the blue as we waited at for the light to allow us to cross the street.
“No, I don’t think so,” I said, looking out into the road as I felt him raise my hand to his lips to give it a kiss, his stubble brushing against my hand. We crossed the road soon after, walking to the apartment complex that I was staying in with Alex and Chris. They both probably aren’t home yet, seeing as it was quite early.
We got into the house, and Travis got into the shower and I joined him soon afterward. It was something I liked to do, stand there with him, and hold him as the warm water dripped all over us. His dirty blonde hair usually looked light brown when wet and molded to his face, and I’d usually turn to the shade of a tomato when he’d decide that just standing there with me wasn’t enough.
Then he’d kiss my face disorderly, pecking my nose, cheeks, the side of my eyes like he was going now. He pulled me against himself, moaning softly as he kissed and suck down my neck.
It was warm.
Everything was warm.
Travis let out a low moan, and I could feel him pressed hard against my stomach. My face was flushed, and my mind was hazed with excitement. I undid his hands from around my waist, giving him a small smile when he let out a groan in a complaint before I went down on my knees and kissed the side of his hip.
“Paul...” He trailed, looking down at me as I took his erection into my hand. The sound of water falling on the tiled floor of the bathroom mixed with Travis’ moans as I moved my hand.
I loved the sound. I love Travis, but I couldn’t keep what Chris had told me before out of my mind for some reason. Was I giving Travis whatever he wanted just because? Was our relationship just plainly sexual? I loved Travis, I knew that for sure, and he’s the best relationship I’ve had since I’ve started dating – but comparing him with anyone from my past was a very low bar...
I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind as I moved my hand, I could feel Travis’ fingers run through my hair as he tried to stay quiet by biting his lower lip. I paused, moving my face forward so I could lick the tip of him. He let out a small sound between a growl and a moan.
I licked the head again, I licked around it, letting my tongue draw the shape of the familiar paths. I licked the head again, taking it into my mouth before covering it with my tongue and sucking.
I let my eyes flutter close for a while, moving my head up and down to accommodate him – letting myself listen to him, take in the almost innocent sounds.
“P-Paul...” he trailed again, and I opened my eyes. He was looking down at me with hazed eyes. I took my mouth away, kissing against his thighs as he continued to run a hand through my hair. I got up soon after, and he bent down to kiss me.
We kissed for a while, moving and trying to do everything but not swallow each other. After a while Travis broke the kiss, letting his fingers carve out my face. I looked into his blue-green eyes, feeling my already warm face grow warmer. He gave me a small peck before muttering that he was going to get something.
As he walked out of the bath I smiled as I yawned a bit, letting the warm water from the showerhead above soak me as I pressed my head against the bathroom wall. I was drowsy, excited, and ‘sexed up’, and I could only wait for Travis to get back.
Sex. That’s what a good part of what a relationship was about.
I frowned, wondering why I’d thought that. It has almost been two years I’ve been dating Travis, why was my mind having these thoughts now? Why was I overthinking Chris’ joke (was it even a joke?) Plus, what would Chris know?
I looked up when I heard the door of the bathroom open. I smiled when Travis walked in with the small bottle in his hand. His face was red – My face was red. I’ve always wondered why we acted like this—like it was something we were new to when we did it a lot—maybe too much. He walked up to me, dropping the small bottle in the small stand for the soap before facing me and taking my face in his hands.
“Hi again?” he muttered as I let out a small laugh before pressing my lips against his. We continued to kiss, and I soon felt his hand move between us to touch me, I moaned, closing my eyes as he moved his hand over my erection before moving to take a hold of my butt and pressing me against the bathroom wall.
Things continued from there, and I got to feel him inside me. It felt good. It always felt good.
“I’m kind of worried that they’re not here yet,” I said, referring to Chris and Alex. Did they go out somewhere together? They did that often, but they usually told me before they went off.
“Maybe they went to pick up Chris’ sister?” Travis asked. He was lying on the bed next to me in his boxers. I shrugged, feeling his hands pull me into a hug from behind.
“I don’t think so. She’s coming this weekend, not now,” I said, as I felt Travis’s fingers run through my hair. I closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy the touch.
“Maybe Chris took Alex out to make it up to him?” Travis offered instead. It took a while, but I nodded into his chest. That sounded more likely. Even after we’d talked about it in the kitchen, Alex and Chris had argued about it a few more times in the apartment, and it had felt kind of odd floating around when they did. They rarely argued, and it seemed a bit out of place – maybe because it sounded more like an organized debate instead of an argument.
“How’s school?” I heard him ask.
It was silent for a while after that, then I felt Travis hum against my neck as he drew circles on my waist.
“That’s good,” he started.
It was quiet again before I decided to speak up. “How are your classes? Was it hard to mix with people? You know, coming in during your second year?” I asked, opening my eyes before turning in his hold so I was facing him. Travis stayed in community college for a year, before transferring to the school that had offered him a sports scholarship during his senior year in high school.
I knew Travis had a frustration about being viewed as dumb or unintelligent. It had taken me a while to see it, but when I did I tried to minimize the amount of time I poked fun at him being an airhead. He had a list of insecurities – I had a list of insecurities, and although I’d admit that we stepped on each other’s toes occasionally, but we mixed well, and we understood each other’s small frustrations, and maybe that’s why it bothered me a bit when people tried to frame Travis as this aggressive person with minimal feelings. If anything, he was a gentle giant who I admit didn’t communicate feelings too well and got misunderstood because of it.
Sometimes I completely understood him, but sometimes – sometimes I wondered if people saw something I was just not seeing, and maybe I’d created this fairy tale prince in my mind.
“They’re fine, and I guess I blend in okay,” Travis muttered. “The guys in the soccer team are great.”
I smiled, nodding into his chest. It had been odd being the only guy standing at the sidelines during their first practice with Travis, but I’d gotten used to it, and it’d become sort of fun to watch from the bleachers or grass with the girlfriends of the other players.
“That’s great.” I’d always felt guilty for making Travis stay back with me for a year, and it comforted me a little to know he was doing fine now.
Maybe that’s why you give him anything he wants? I frowned, a little frustrated with myself. Why do I keep thinking about that? It was frustrating to me, and not letting me enjoy the time I was spending with my boyfriend.
“Is something wrong?” Travis asked, and it was at that moment I remembered that I was frowning. I let my face relax, before shaking my head. From the look on Travis’ face, I knew he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t probe further, just hugged me harder.
I hated overthinking, but I always did it, and I hoped Chris was overthinking something as well. I’m not sure why. Maybe as a grudge? Who knows.
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