"I look like a fine oil painting right now," Troy says, lazing under the hot sun, shirtless. He grins and fixes his sunglasses, taking advantage of the great weather.
Don't kid yourself, kid.
I roll my eyes at his gigantic ego. "Sure, bud," I reply sarcastically. I glance over at Ramos who is 'suntanning' on my other side, covered in sunscreen from head to toe as if deathly afraid of burning -- dunno how he plans to catch a tan like that. "Switch with me," I plead, desperate to not be in the middle of them or anywhere near Troy. The worst thing imaginable is being a Ramos-Benley-Troy sandwich.
I let out a breath of relief when Ramos happily obliges and takes my place beside the idiot he calls his only friend.
"I love black beaches." I sigh in content and lean back on my beach towel, enjoying the contrast of the blue waters against the black sand.
I'm glad Minnesota's Onyx Beach has recently been opened to the public. I gotta admit, it's in pristine condition. Still, it does not make me want to swim in the warm water, especially because this site was once used for taconite mining.
Troy shakes his head at me. "Always the racist one," he says as if he's known me for many years.
"Why don't you go and swim?" I suggest, hoping he'll leave me to relax for a little bit. If I'm lucky, he might drown.
"No way," he refuses, "that water is polluted, BroBoyBandDawg. I'm waiting for Ramos to take a dip. If he turns into some lake mutant frothing from the mouth, filled with radiation, then I'll maybe consider it."
Ramos nods in agreement, determined to do anything for Troy, including die. "Das right."
I scoff to myself and mumble under my breath. "Idiots." Why did I agree to go on 'vacay' with these two morons? Because it's been a month since I've last seen AJ and I'm going crazy ever since she called it quits on us -- I couldn't be honest with her and open up emotionally. I've been begging her to take me back but she refuses. I feel like we've traded places.
My phone breaks me from my thoughts when it begins to ring for the hundredth time.
Will Bell and Max not catch a hint?!
"Zie BroBoyBand must stop zinging. He sounds like zie broken zelephone," Ramos cockily states, not even bothering to look at me when complaining about me.
I hold up my cell phone to his face. "Suprise, surprise, dumbass, it is a ringing phone!" I ignore his gasp and decide to finally answer Max's call. "What?!" I snap into the phone, frustrated.
"So you answer Max over me?!" Bell screams back at me, having tricked me like the deceptive lunatic she is.
I have to remove the phone from my ear just to prevent myself from going deaf. "What do you want?" I ask, annoyed. I'm trying to get my mind off of things and it shouldn't be difficult considering the company I'm stuck with.
"I cannot believe that you're with Troy and Ramos right now. Is this suppose to be your 'plan B'? That's pathetic. You've hit rock bottom this time," Bell says loudly from her side, already picking a fight with me.
There is no 'plan B'. AJ was always 'plan A'.
"Maybe it is a little pathetic that I'm with them," I agree with her, "but I need the break."
"Uh...we can hear zoo guys!" Ramos glowers at me, shooting me a filthy look. Troy, on the other hand, doesn't understand enough to take offense.
"Shut it, Ramos! This does not concern you guys! Mind your own business! I'm talking about you not to you!" I raise my voice at him, putting him in his place. I tune back into the rant Bell is on. I eagerly interrupt her with a huff. "But they need adult supervision, Bell," I protest. "I'm doing everyone a favor by potentially preventing mass destruction."
"That may be true but you're not funny," she argues, too serious for my liking.
"Dude!" Max's voice comes through, relieving me of having to listen to his annoying girlfriend. "I miss you. You've been gone for so long!"
"I only left today," I remind him. All my 'friends' are idiots. Every single one of them.
"Yeah but you're four hours away from Burnsville. That's too far," he says in a matter-of-fact way. "Also, I can't believe you jerks didn't invite me."
"This is not the way to handle things, Benley!" I hear Bell yell from the background, chipping her way back into the conversation. "Going away is not going to bring AJ back to you!"
Her opinion is not wanted.
"Your pet is yapping; I can't hear you, Max," I reply, dodging the invite question. Troy specifically made me swear not to invite anyone who does not meet his requirements of a 'vacay buddy'...surprisingly Max did not meet said requirements. "Shut it up, will ya?"
I hear a deafening screech leave Max's lips and some arguing before Max's pained voice comes through again. "You almost just got me killed."
"You're very welcome," I reply flippantly. I don't get why he must suffer for my comment but whatever -- not my problem -- he chose Bell, not me. "Enjoy your death," I add before hanging up on them.
"You've made the right decision by coming here with us," Troy tells me, trying to be sympathetic but all the while smiling from ear-to-ear. "I would have done the same if I were in your position, if I were living in your fatass, ugly shoes."
"Okay..." I hesitate while thinking over what he just said. "I've made a huge mistake," I conclude calmly before quickly standing up and racing to my car, leaving the two of them hanging -- hopefully they never find their way back to Burnsville without me.
I just realized that if I'm thinking like Troy then I'm not thinking at all.