IT AIN'T THAT HARD

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...My Best Friend

You hit me once,

I hit you back.

You gave a kick.

I gave a slap.

You smashed a plate over my head.

Then I set fire to our bed.

Sometimes Florence can be so damn right.huh? Sometimes

So...that's it. Christmas gone wrong right? And our 3rd anniversary.

So let's group up people!!

Everyone here??(hey, come back here!! They are not doing it now!!)

So you ask me how am I feeling, well thanks for showing your fake sympathies.but I don't need it.no sir!! I don't. Instead people take a lot pleasure while someone life's crumbles like a mould soggy bread.(yeah.i crumbled that bad)

How did I know that?

Well I used to love emotional drama. Guy/girl being cheated on.acting like total sore losers and acting funny. O used to life like a maniac!!! But that's movie right? And movie never gets anything right!!

They don't show the depression that you ballet dive into, the eating disorders you invite. The ceased baths. The group sex of mites on every part of your body.( I am tired of scratching my ass like a koala). And the kind of self-depressed, sadistic narcissistic, misogynistic,playboy you become. Going to strip club every fuckin' day . That even girls give you tips so you can at least wash your crotch for lap dance.

I went into a deep animalistic hybernation. Except, I wasn't a cute cuddly bear(Winnie the pooh!!) I was over-horny grizzly bear.(basically you guys who are having dry spells.)

Even the five years of bullshit therapy couldn't help me.so what now?

I am thinking of moving to phoenix. But I don't wanna. Cause it reminds me of twilight. The only 'romantic' pair ever gone wrong.

Don't wanna go to Miami. can't bear to see people bonding over bodies.

Maybe Texas. But cowboy is not my taste.

Indianapolis?? I would love to meet Josh Green but you know my luck. I would probably be better thrown into a barrel and dumped into a sea.

So Seattle it is!!

There ain't good or bad about Seattle. It's good enough to forget you past and live. I have a friend there , Jamie. His name is James Shitz. But we used to call him jamie. You know he's definitely not deserving to be named after one of the greatest spies of all time.

And Shitz.Shitz??

Are you fuckin' shitzzing me??

But we were best buds.we still are. We used to sell weed to the freshmen kids.

One time we were caught. The dumb ass told me he would have my back.

Only his back was turned against me.

But still I forgave him.

Then shitz-arse tried to kiss Liz before the wedding. I don't know what the hell he was thinking...he ended up getting broken nose and broken...(cough)..

Dude even gave a weird - ass speech , what could I do?

He was the best man.

He thoroughly entailed every sex session I ever had.even with his mom.

So , i guess we are not just brothers from another mother.

We were like dumb and Dumber. But just add intensity of four or five movies more.

So after 12 years. Here I am . Standing at the crosswalk street. Staring at the shit hole.

I can smell fresh weeds from here.new batch I guess.

(Knock,knock)

"Hey,Jamie!!"

No answer?? Wait..the door is unlocked.should I go in??

Well I have the right. I co-created fire weed!!

"Jamie...OH MY GOD!!!"

no..no...no.no.no!!

I can't bear to watch this

Jamie..

(My best friend. My SE teacher, My Dr Watson hung himself, his feets suspending 2 feet from the floor.head hung low. With a suicide note.

' going to ride under celestial bitches!!'

My last turn.was a dead end. My last hope was a fallin' star. My last loved one.went to ride under celestial bitches.

"JAMES!!!"

I don't have the strength.no. my legs are weak.they are falling apart.i am on my knees.my head buried in my palms. Now that I have seen this scene...right before my eyes...I don't even have money to pay for the funeral!!

(Loud grunt)

.

.

.

.

"Heh??"

" How was it?"

"You..didn't"

"Rope suspenders on the back,bro"

"You fucktard!!!"

"Hey,I didn't know that you were gonna come here!! This was to scare off Mr Solanki!.haven't paid my due for months."

" You...still trying to die?"

" I am already dead bro. But this body ain't leaving this soul.."

"Well..keep trying"

I am just gonna go..

"Hey!!"

"What?!!"

"You don't wanna help me get down??"

"I am not gonna take you to the club at the instant we meet!"

"PJ bro.PJ"

"Well you using this lame abbreviation is PJ."

And we don't know why.but we both chuckle.

I forgot to tell you, didn't I?

Jamie is suicidal.

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