Allie - The teenage years of Alexander Horten

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Alexander, or Allie as everyone calls him has a new diary. You now have the chance to enter the confusing and exciting times and tribulations of being a teenager. Being a teenager is something we must all try, and it is not easy. This is the modern version of the Adrian Mole diaries.

Humor / Drama
Victoria Temple
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:

July 4-11, 2015

July 4, 2015


Dear Diary,

Let me introduce myself. My name is Alexander and I am 13. For some reason, everyone calls me Allie. I have long shoulder-length hair that is a small bit curly under my ears. I usually sweep it to the right to keep it out of my eyes. I am very small for my age! I am the same size as my sister and she is 10! Otherwise, I am skinny. People say 4 things when they think about me. I am very small for my age. My hair is long. I have a nice singing voice and I have long eyelashes.

Today is my birthday. The most important day of my life. I am no longer a child. I am a teenager. I am also a middle child which explains why I just got you as a birthday present. Let me explain. Mom thought that Dad was buying me a present and Dad thought Mom was doing it. So this morning when I came down to show my new teenage self, mom and dad looked at each other. Then Mom rushed to her room, saying it was time for my present. I heard her swearing and drawers and doors being open. After me waiting and looking forward to the new smartphone I wished for so long, Mom came down with a present packed in Christmas paper. It was you! A diary!

It was hard to smile when all I got a diary as a present. Mom told me that this was very special. You would be a place to archive my deepest feelings and fears.... my soul. I will be honest, a smartphone would have been better.

My aunt came around later with a small cake she got at the bakery. She gave me a quick hug and talked with Sarah, my sister. Aunty is my mother’s sister, but lives close by. She is not married, and I suppose that is good because she hates men. Aunty has lots of money and lives all by herself in a posh house. This should mean that I get good presents, but that never happens. I am sure she could afford a smartphone. She came with a cake and a book about horses.

Mom couldn’t find any candles and dad just put one of his cigarettes down in the cake after he lit it. The cigarette stood proud like a candle, and smoke rose up from it. Dad was watching the news and wasn’t paying attention. He told me to blow it out. We had cake with cigarette ashes powdered on top of it.

I will always remember the day that I became 13!


July 5, 2015


Dear Diary

Mom woke me up and told me we had to rush as we were late for Church. I nearly slept walked to the bathroom, but could not get in. My big brother Billy was using the bathroom and this meant he would take ages. He is 19. He thinks he is so mature. I, on the other hand, do not think that he is smart. Maybe because this is because he only thinks about parties and girls. He often says he is embarrassed by his family and he doesn’t want us to speak with him outside the house. Billy can be a pain, but I love him as a brother.

I waited for him to come out. I really do not know what he does in the toilet. I lost patience and went out in the back yard and found a secluded tree I could water. Dad had the same idea and was mumbling what Billy was doing all his time doing in the bathroom?

Mom was like a busy bee. We were just about to walk out the door when she noticed my hair. She screamed that I could not go to Church looking like a hedgehog. So I was dragged in the house again and Mom started brushing all the knots out of my hair. She did not listen to my plea’s and when I shouted in pain. Her mission was to make me look respectable. I told her I could do it myself if Billy did not hog the bathroom.

The hair in the front of my head was long. It was not enough that it was just swept to the side. Mom said that no one will see my pretty eyes.


She had a solution. She used one of Sarah’s hair clips to keep it where she wanted. I protested as I did not want any girl thing in my hair. As I protested, Mom shoved me out in the car.

When we came to the Church, I went to change to my choir robe. I sing in the Church choir and still have a soprano voice. I loved this and it was the highlight of every week. When we got changed in our robes, we went and stood where we usually did and waited for the priest. All the boys snickered when they saw Sarah’s hair thing in my hair.

Dad fell asleep during mass, so he did not hear me sing. He is 47 and teaches at the school I go to. He is a very popular teacher and everyone loves him. The only problem is that when Dad does not work at school, he forgets that he has 3 children and is too tired to be with us. Otherwise, he is a huge Madonna fan, so there is Madonna music all the time at our house. I do not understand her. One minute she is singing that she is a virgin and another minute she sings about... well you know.

After Church, my best friend Andrew met me outside Church. He was praising me to the skies telling me that I sang like an angel. I wondered how he could hear me sing, as I had no solo today. Dad also praised me and told me how great I was. Did he dream of me singing?


July 6, 2015


Dear Diary

We have two months left of summer holidays. I already miss school!

Today it hit me that I am now a teenager. I was no longer a child. I was on my way to becoming an adult. This means I have to be more mature. I have to be smarter and I have to look cooler than I do now. The teenage years are the path of what you will do as an adult! So when school starts again, I must study and nourish my brain so I could get a good job when I am older.

I also needed Annie to know we would be happy if we got married. She is a girl in my class and I plan to get married to her. She has long wavy hair and a nice body. She looks like a goddess in the school uniform. She has long curly blonde hair so I am sure our children would be cute. The only problem is that she really had not noticed that I am alive yet.

Yes, I am a teenager now. I knew that it was time to get rid of all my childish toys and books. Just not today


July 7, 2015


Dear Diary

I had a long talk with mom today. Mom works at home. She worries a lot and has every book there is about raising a child. My mother does not like that we are getting older. She thinks she still needs to help us with everything. I think she dreads the day when we are so old that we will move and she would be alone with her books. Mom is 38. This often made me think that there are so many years between mom and dad.

I told mom that I was now a teenager and had to look like one. Mom started to panic and said she read that this would happen. She would have a problem if I decided to be an emo or a rocker or goth. I told her that this was not my plan... yet. I just had three wishes.

The first was that I did not have to wear cartoon briefs. Let’s face it, they are childish. I should be wearing designer briefs or boxers like any other boy. I told her that Andrew wears designer boxers. Mom asked me how do I know and then decided that she did not want to know.

I told her that she no longer had to put out my clothes. I was now capable of deciding what I wanted to wear every day. If I got pocket money, I could also buy my clothes.

Finally, I told her that I needed a hair cut. I explained that when people met me for the first time, they often thought I was a girl. Mom explained that they were just jealous. This is something parents say to close a conversation.

After I presented my demands, mom squeezed me cheek and told me that I was cute. Then she suggested that we bake something.



July 8, 2015


Dear Diary

When I woke up, I found that Mom had put clothes that I should wear today at the end of my bed. So much for my demands. Maybe this is why I will be a teen for 5 years!

Today Greece was in the news. They are bankrupt and need money. I should be more politically interested and care about what was happening in the world. The problem is that I am bankrupt too. I still need a smartphone!


July 9, 2015


Dear Diary

I need a summer job to get money. It will also give me peace from my sister Sarah. Sarah is my sister and she is 10. I often consider Sarah like a small kitten, that is so curious about everything. She talks a lot and has lots of friends. Sometimes she latches on to me and won’t let me alone. Its really like having a radio except you can’t turn it off. Sarah is the same size as me, which is embarrassing, but they do say that girls grow faster. Both Billy and Sarah have dark hair, my hair is blonde.

The problem is my only talent is singing. What could I do?


July 10, 2015


Dear Diary

Mom has a tradition every year that she makes us stand against a wall after we had our birthday. Then she draws a line on the wall to show how high we are. I think I am too old for this. What will she do after I do this when I become 50? I heard that a human becomes smaller when they get old.

When she was done, I looked at the wall and nearly wanted to cry. I could see how fast Sarah was growing and my growth was not even noticeable. This made me stare in the mirror for a long time. How will Annie ever notice me if she has to look down at me! What would my first kiss be like? Will I need a ladder to reach her?

I decided that I must see if there was some way that I could stretch my body!


July 11, 2015


Dear Diary

Mom and Dad decided that they needed a day for themselves, where they can be romantic and all that. I do not know why. They are already married!

My brother decided to hang with his friends and Aunty said that she would take care of Sarah. Mom persuaded that Aunty to take me as well. Aunty did not know what to do, so she decided that we should just drive until we found something exciting. I didn’t like this. Aunty had a child seat in the back of the car for reasons unknown. Sarah was allowed to sit like any normal person while Aunty told me to sit in the child seat. When I protested, she said that Sarah was too old to sit in a toddler seat. Did aunty not know that I was older?

I felt like every person we saw as we drove could see me in this toddler seat. They were most likely having a good laugh. Sarah did not tease. She just told me that someday I would grow. We drove for two hours, looking for something to do.

Aunty finally found something we can do. We could swim at the beach. I told her that we had no swimming clothes with us. This didn’t bother aunty. She said we could swim in our undies. Sarah had no problem with this, but I stood there and said no way. Aunty did not understand my boundaries as a new teenager. She asked who would know me?

I do not know how I agreed to it. The next thing I knew was that Sarah and I were running towards the water and splashing. I started to think that aunty was right. No one would notice me as they did not know who I was. We were in the middle of nowhere. Far away from our home town.

How wrong I could be. Despite we were at a place that was far away, Annie was somehow there. She waved to me as she saw me in my lion king briefs and she was laughing. My teenage romance could not have had a worse start!


To be continued

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