All the Things I'd Say If I Ever Braved Stand-Up

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Short sketches, musings, cheesy jokes and opinions. Enjoy.

Gayle O'Leary
Age Rating:

Ballad of a Scots-Australian Australian-Scot

As of today, I’ve been living in Australia for twenty years.

It didn’t go by fast. We moved here when I was little and at that age a week feels like a lifestyle. So I’ve been here for a stack of lifetimes.

I was born in Glasgow, Scotland. I became an Aussie citizen at the age of ten. So I suppose that technically makes me Scots-Australian.

Or as locals here insist: an Australian.

That’s handy to hear. I was in danger of forgetting. Every time I meet someone new their first question is, without fail, “Is that an accent I hear?”

To which I pop on a well practised grimace and answer “it is”.

“Oh, where’re you from?”

Sometimes to be smart I’ll go “I grew up in Currambine, north of Perth. Oh, you meant originally? Glasgow. West Scotland.”

“Wow, your accent’s still so strong!”

“Is it? You’re the first one to say so!”


“Of course you fucking aren’t.”

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Further Recommendations

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