My Boyfriend’s A Superhero

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In this superhero parody, Della Branch’s life is turned upside down when she finds out that her boyfriend Chad is secretly the superhero The Crusader. Each chapter is a different adventure as Della makes sure that no one finds out The Crusader’s true identity. This means making up cover stories, teaming up with Chad’s annoying best friend, and having to keep her mouth shut when villains constantly kidnap her. Along the way, Della realizes that she too can be a hero.

Humor / Adventure
4.0 1 review
Age Rating:

Chapter 1- It’s A Bird! It’s A Plane! It’s...Chad?

I woke up to the sound of my alarm’s continuous beeping. When I looked at its face I realized that I had overslept. As quick as I could, I leaped out of bed and opened my closet. Hanging on a hook was the white sundress I picked out the night before. I put it and my yellow gemstone necklace on, then headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my hair.

When I finished, I ran for the kitchen to grab a protein bar. My father was sitting at the counter reading a newspaper. “Morning sunshine,” he said, not looking up at me. “Why didn’t anyone wake me up?” I didn’t mean to say it with an annoyed tone. My dad is a bald middle aged pharmacist. Like me, he has bright green eyes and light skin, but that’s our only resemblance. He doesn’t have time for anyone or anything, except his newspaper.

“How was I supposed to know you wanted to be woken up?” He still didn’t look up at me. I was going to respond, but I was already overly late for school and saying something wouldn’t do anything anyway. So instead, I kissed his cheek and walked out the front door.

As ran down the sidewalk, I looked up and saw The Crusader battling Car Man on the roof of a building across the street. (Seriously, there’s a supervillain named Car Man.) Regular people would think a super fight was cool. But for the citizens of Skyline City, this was Tuesday.

Superheroes have had a stronghold in this city for over fifty years. They battle supervillain 24/7. For years, our patron was Mr. Titan. However, last year he went into retirement and his sidekick, The Crusader took over for him. The Crusader is adored by everyone, except me. I think he’s just an O.K. hero.

Car Man is a new villain, he was introduced into the Super Evil League(S.E.L) yeasterday on the news. I looked back up at the battle and saw him use his mind to summon a car from the street and into the air. He then hurled it toward The Crusader. The Crusader used his super strength and punched the car toward Car Man. That knocked him out real quick.

“Took him long enough,” I scoffed, still running down the sidewalk. The Crusader tied the villain up with rope form his agility belt. He then jumped off the roof and landed in the street.(Another power of his is inhanced agility) Then went into an alleyway. Weird.

When I finally reached my high school, I noticed Chad running into the school as well. At least we can we have detention together. Maybe we can make it our date for this week.

I’ve been dating Chad Fuller since the sixth grade, but I’ve been in love with him since kindergarten. He’s an average height and naturally fit. He has dark hair that spikes up no matter what he does. His brown eyes are covered by black rimmed glasses. Chad has been wearing the same red hoodie since sixth grade. The day we started dating. He says it’s lucky. Isn’t he the cutest?

I shouldn’t be surprised that he’s late for school, he’s late for everything. Date nights, events, field trips, etc.

“Hey Dells,” he said while taking my hand as we headed for class.

“So where were you this time?”

“Hey don’t get all judgy, you’re late too Dells!”

I similed. If anyone knows how to get me to do that, it’s Chad Fuller. The good news is that it’s only first period, so we couldn’t have missed that much. We walked into Science and everyone stared. “Well if it isn’t the lovebirds Adella and Chadwick. Late passes please.” Ms. Web said, holding out her hand. “We don’t have late passes, we just came in.” I said quietly, ignoring the snickers of my classmates.

“Well then I’ll be seeing both of you in detention after school.” Was it just me or did she smile when she said that? Chad and I took our seats, and Ms. Web went back to teaching her lesson. Normally I’m right on time for school, but for some reason today my alarm decided to change that.

The morning flew by, and in a blink of an eye it was lunch. I wonder if a supervillain is speeding up the day with some kind of machine. As Chad and I got in line for food in the cafeteria, the person in front of us turned around. “Hey sis, heard you were late today. I wonder how that happened.” My older sister Vicki said in the most condescending voice imaginable. It’s usually the younger sibling’s job to make the other one’s life difficult, but for some reason Vicki decided that job belonged to her.

I’m a freshman and she’s a senior. She’s also a witch. (Figuratively, not literally. I think.) I don’t know why my sister is so hell bent on making my life miserable. I would ask, but I’m afraid that I would just end up with scorpions in my pillow if I did. (Again.)

“Congrats I have detention. Happy?” I asked in a tone that would give me a month’s worth of detention if used on a teacher. “Detention is a blast, you two will love it.” She should know. She gets it twice every week for talking back to teachers. Vicki took her tray and went to her usual table. The small one in the back of the cafeteria that no one sits at but her. People try to sit with her, but she just hisses at them.

“Don’t let your sister get you down. Detention isn’t ideal, but at least we’ll be together.” Chad said as he put his arm around me. He’s just the sweetest. A moment later the Villain Siren went off. “Attention. Attention. Everyone. Stay. Calm. Starry Night is attacking the bank. Please. Report. To. The. Safety. Room.” Our vice principal said over the loud speaker.

This is the second day in a row that Starry Night, a villain who can create blasts from the energy of stars, is attacking. I looked up at Chad who still had his arm around me. “We better get to the Safety Room,” I said. He seemed troubled. “I have to go,” he said.

“What? Where?”

“I left my history project at home.”

“You’re going to get it now?”

“Yeah, uh I’ll catch up with you. Just get to safety.” He kissed my forehead and ran off.

“Chad!” I called. No reply. Not only is Chad always late, but he’s always disappearing. For instance, last Friday we were at the movies and then his watch beeped. He said he had to take off and left me in the theatre by myself. What is he doing when he leaves? A moment later I saw his best friend, Reggie Davis, running after Chad. Or at least trying to.

What is going on? I needed to know. So instead of heading to the Safety Room, I followed Reggie and Chad.

Reggie stopped following Chad and went into the computer lab. I had to hide behind a locker so he wouldn’t see me. Chad continued to make his way toward the school’s doors. Am I being a paranoid girlfriend? Is he really just getting his history project? I was about to turn around when Chad stopped at his locker. He grabbed a duffel bag and ran out the school’s doors. Okay now I have to follow him.

I walked out the doors. Everyone else was in the Safety Room so no one stopped me. Chad turned into the alleyway next to the school. What was he doing? The alley is not a short cut, so there’s no reason to go in there. After waiting for a couple seconds, I went into the alley. Not at all prepared for what I found.

Chad had changed into white leggings, a long-sleeved red shirt, and matching red boots. He was also wearing silver armored gloves. On the ground next him was the duffel bag, a red mask, and a shield. He seemed to be trying to put on a utility belt. It took me a minute to put all the pieces together. Red and white costume, shield, red mask,...The Crusader!

I screamed. Chad looked up at me and screamed. Reggie opened the computer lab’s window, saw us, and screamed. Then I passed out.

I woke up tied to a chair in the computer lab. A piece of duck tape was on my mouth. (Seriously. Duck tape.) I tried yelling, but “mmmhmmhmm!” Was all I could get out. What time is it? I tried looking at the clock on the white wall in front of me, but it was too foggy from being there for so long to read.

Suddenly the fluorescent lights went out. Reggie shinened his phone’s flashlight in my face. “What’s your name?” He asked in a fake deep voice. “Mmmmmhmmhm,” I said. Reggie sighed and ripped the duck tape off my mouth. “OW!” I moaned. (Note to self: duck tape HURTS!) “Was that necessary?” I asked, trying to keep my eyes open as Reggie continued to shine his phone light in my face.

“No questions during interrogations!” He scolded, this time in his regular high pitch voice. “Now tell me your name Della!” Who is he? The inspector from Pink Panther? “Reggie you know my name, now please untie me.” He slapped me. Actually slapped me. “This is not a tea party! It’s an interrogation! WHAT. IS. YOUR. NAME?”

The fluorescent lights flickered back on. “Woah, woah, woah. What are you doing?” I heard Chad say from behind me. He ran over to my seat and untied me. “What are you doing? She’s a threat!” Reggie exclaimed. He’s short and a little chubby with red curly hair. Freckles cover his entire face along with big round glasses. “Della is not a threat. We’ve known her almost our entire lives!” I turned to Chad, he was still wearing The Crusader costume.

I can’t believe he didn’t tell me he was superhero! How many times has he lied to me to protect his secret? Does he even need glasses? Also, of all the people to tell, why Reggie? “She could be a spy!” Reggie screamed, snapping me out of my befuddlement. Chad roller his eyes. “Della is not a spy.” He turned to me, “Right?” How am I the untrustworthy one here?

“I’m not a spy!” I snapped. “Now can one of you tell me what’s going on? Why didn’t you tell me you’re a superhero?” Chad sighed. “I just wanted to protect you.” It’s really hard to take him seriously when he’s wearing red and white spandex. I kissed his cheek and said, “No more secrets.” He smiled. If anyone knows how to get him to do that it’s me. “No more secrets,” he repeated.

“That’s it? We’re just going to trust her?” Reggie sat down in a computer chair and spun around so he couldn’t face us. Reggie is a four year old in a fifteen year old’s body. “So why did you tell him?” I asked, because seriously why him? Reggie swiveled his chair to face me. “Because I am trustworthy, unlike some people.” Once again, Chad rolled his eyes. “He found my duffel bag.” Okay that makes sense.

“How did you get your powers?” Chad did a hero pose. “I was bite by a radioactive spider.” This time Reggie rolled his eyes. “He accidentally drank special mineral water.” Mineral water? I couldn’t help bursting into laughter. Chad’s hero pose slumped down. “Sorry, sorry.” I said, still kind of laughing. “So you have super strength and super agility, right?” Reggie snickered. “And he has a highly advance shield and can shoot disks and lasers from his wrist. My own design.” He said has he fell off the computer chair from spinning his too fast.

“Remember the year I spent the summer at science camp? Well on the last day we had our party next to the lab. When no one was looking, I snuck in. One of the scientists, Dr. Chen, had left out a drink on his workspace. Thinking it was soda, I drank it, not realizing it was mineral water. Dr. Chen rushed in at moment later and realized what I had done. He told me the mineral water was special and had side effects. Like super strength. Dr. Chen told me he was Mr. Titan and took me under his wing for two years as his sidekick. Then he retired and left me to take over his mantle as Skyline City’s patron superhero. I have powers that I don’t understand. I have gadgets to help me, but it’s still hard. I just hope I can live up to Mr. Titan one day.”

Once again, it’s really hard to take him seriously when he’s wearing red and white spandex.

“Look Della, you can’t tell anyone my secret. It’s for their own protection. Do you promise?” I answered “yes,” not knowing my promise would change my life forever.

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