Vernon Who Drove A Bus Badly (In Brighton) - A Cautionary Tale For Adults

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This is the cautionary tale of Vernon who drove a bus maliciously in Brighton and got his comeuppance.

Humor / Poetry
Ava Carpzov
Age Rating:

Chapter 1

Vernon Who Drove A Bus Badly (In Brighton)

A Cautionary Tale

One day I met on my commute

A bus driver of ill repute

His name was ‘nasty’ Vernon Crane

For reasons I shall now explain

Every morning he would drive

Up the mall along route five

Hunting passengers to thwart

In their quest for bus transport

Smirking at the desperate queues

(Queue’s spelt with two ’e’s and two ’u’s)

He’d park the bus a little shy

Of the usual stop nearby

Then he’d sit and chew a bun

As part of his sadistic fun

Watching all the angry faces

In pouring rain with bags and cases

And when he’d finished his coco

And listening to the radio

He’d switch the sign from ‘88’

To ‘Not In Service, You’re Too Late!’

But cruel behaviour breeds contempt

And Vernon Crane was not exempt

The news went round and hints were dropped

About how Vernon rarely stopped

And when he did stop it was fleeting

And everyone would dash for seating

And woe betide if you were weak

Or had a less than toned physique

You’d have to vault to reach the steps

And with the help of strong biceps

Grab on to the dangly straps

Or face a series of mishaps

Which happened once to Mr Crump

As Vernon zoomed over a bump

And Mr Crump grabbed Mrs Dunne

Who was cushioned by her son

Her son took hold of Miss Von Trapp

Who landed on the Vicar’s lap

Who kicked poor Mrs Delaware

Who grabbed a tight hold of thin air

And as she toppled down the aisle

Vernon Crane was seen to smile

And then let out a great guffaw

As she hurtled out the door

They found the lady up a tree

In desperate need of therapy

She still prefers no one discusses

Her dreadful phobia of buses

But one day Vernon’s bus broke down

On the quieter side of town

And angry crowds who he’d ignored

Caught up with him and jumped aboard

They slapped him round the head and face

And poked him with a pencil case

And made him roll about the floor

As he had done to them before

And then they formed a rugby huddle

Ganged up and threw him in a puddle

They left him sobbing where he lay

Stuck out their tongues and drove away

Continue Reading
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