Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 1 of 12)

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Hi, I’m Kurt. A binge-drinking, pill-popping disco diva with a heart of platinum and an appetite for self-destruction. Welcome to Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax’d Millennial. Adapted from a collection of nightly journal entries, Sleepless Solitude details the promiscuous highs and drug-induced lows of a gay millennial in his mid-twenties as he tries to find his way through the swamp of young adulthood. Covering an entire year, the blog posts serve as a chronological, behind-the-scenes look at what happens when the party stops and the Hangover Blues kick in. At its core, Sleepless Solitude is an effort in sharing personal truths. By revealing intimate thoughts and vulnerabilities with each journal entry, the aim is to present a mind and story void of social media filters. Life isn’t always a celebration, it’s not always sunny, and sometimes you blackout and break a few teeth. The best I can do right now is try and pick up the pieces. Goodnight xo

Age Rating:

January 1

January 1

Happy New Year!

Logan and I slept in pretty late. I made us a full breakfast. We lounged around and fooled around until about 3 p.m., then walked to the CN Tower and went up around sunset, which was great. Went to the Andy Warhol exhibit at TIFF afterwards and then went back home.

I made chicken with garlic fries for dinner and we had some beers and the leftovers from last night while watching Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. I started to get that “I ate too much and feel like a complete fat ass” feeling and I know I shut off a bit. That, plus the A/C breaking was not what I needed.

I hate these body image issues. I feel like a fat cow. I took a cold shower to calm down and cool down and almost made myself throw up, but I didn’t want Logan to hear me. I also don’t want to do that, but I know it will make my stomach feel better. Ugh.

Why can’t I just be fucking skinny? One of those people who can eat whatever they want and feel fine? Fucking Connor eats McDonald’s three times a week and disappears when he turns to the side. I eat a baked chicken breast and need gastric bypass surgery. When I got out of the shower, Logan was asleep. Maybe a blessing in disguise.

Goodnight xo

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