Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 12)

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February 4

February 4

This morning was a bit abrupt. It felt as though Logan woke up after sleeping as long as humanly possible, showered, and was out the door for work without saying more than a few words to me. This whole trip has such a weird dynamic to it. I’m here as a weekday visitor. As such, I know that I can’t expect anything but normal weekday regularity. But, I can’t help but want something more than that. I guess I’m okay if it doesn’t happen. I don’t really have a choice in the matter.

So, Logan left for work. I looked at my event stuff for a while, which is gaining a lot of positive traction, and then did a lap around Central Park. I had a very overwhelming moment of gratitude throughout my run and the rest of the morning. I’m so lucky. Honestly. I’m here, in New York City, visiting a guy I like and just met in December, and I’m living a life that someone could only dream of. Especially after last night, it just seems like I’m living such a treat. It certainly hasn’t gone unnoticed. Thank you.

After my run, I embarked on a series of errands throughout the city, which took me all afternoon and evening. Everything from spending too much money in SoHo to buying “cookie dō” in Midtown. Very hectic, and also very unnecessary.

Logan was taking me to the New York City Ballet tonight, and in anticipation of such a fancy-schmancy event, I went a little overboard with my credit card at COS. I bought myself a brand-new outfit from head to toe. Oopsies! I took my time getting ready at the apartment and was set to arrive at the Lincoln Center exactly on time, but then Logan told me to meet him earlier than expected, and so began my mad dash across the city.

Eventually I arrived at the Lincoln Center, and Logan was waiting for me at the fountain. I know this will sound so flamboyantly Cinderella princess of me, but it felt like a fairytale moment. It was as if I had arrived at the steps of palace, and was meeting Prince Charming at the ball. Before I had a chance to say anything, Logan took both of my hands, kissed me, and then said, “You look incredible. Stunning. You’re so handsome,” as he looked into my eyes and smiled.

I know I say this all the time, but my heart really did melt when Logan said that to me. It melted right into the glowing fountain behind us and I was overflowing with joy. I can’t even begin to explain how amazing I felt in that moment. It was everything I wanted and more.

Logan and I went inside the theater and took our seats for the ballet, which was absolutely breathtaking. Like a scene out of Pretty Woman, I cried while watching it. Logan bought us champagne during intermission and afterwards he took me to dinner at The Smith and paid for everything, also incredible. The entire evening was so enchanting. Logan made me feel like I was royalty. Tonight was one of the most romantic moments of my entire life and it made me even more grateful for everything I am experiencing on this trip.

We went straight home after dinner. Logan was very full, but wanted to smoke a pipe before bed. Despite what happened the other night, I indulged again. Puff, puff, pass. We made out and fooled around in his bed until we eventually both passed out. I don’t remember the exact way we fell asleep, but I know it felt comfortable. There were some laughs, too.

On a closing note, one thing I realized tonight is that when making out with someone while I’m stoned, the key is to keep my eyes open! This prevents my mind from wandering and picturing my partner as a different person/entity. For example, a few months ago when I was making out with a guy after we shared a joint and had convinced myself that he was actually a werewolf. It wasn’t my fault! He had a beard! Anyway, keeping my eyes open helps me remain in the moment, despite it being creepy as hell. Whatever.

Note to self: keep the eyes open!

Goodnight xo

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