Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 3 of 12)

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Hi, I’m Kurt. A binge-drinking, pill-popping disco diva with a heart of platinum and an appetite for self-destruction. Welcome to Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax’d Millennial. Adapted from a collection of nightly journal entries, Sleepless Solitude details the promiscuous highs and drug-induced lows of a gay millennial in his mid-twenties as he tries to find his way through the swamp of young adulthood. Covering an entire year, the blog posts serve as a chronological, behind-the-scenes look at what happens when the party stops and the Hangover Blues kick in. At its core, Sleepless Solitude is an effort in sharing personal truths. By revealing intimate thoughts and vulnerabilities with each journal entry, the aim is to present a mind and story void of social media filters. Life isn’t always a celebration, it’s not always sunny, and sometimes you blackout and break a few teeth. The best I can do right now is try and pick up the pieces. Goodnight xo

Age Rating:

March 1

March 1

Busy day today. That’s a good thing, right? Right!

Started my morning with a full workout routine. Weights, sit-ups, push-ups, stretches, running – the usual stuff. Endorphins make you happy! Well, endorphins, and a haircut.

My roots were looking pretty rough, so I paid a visit to Kris. Normally, a fresh fade and some asphyxiation from hair bleach and toner put me in a great mood, but Kris cut a fucking chunk out of the back of my head this time. It looks like I have a bald spot now! Ugh, fuck. It’ll grow, I guess. Damn it.

After my visit to Kris, I received another call from The Store with an offer for a short shift. Like, four hours short. It almost seems like a waste of time when you factor in the commute to the mall from Casa Z, but I also can’t handle much longer than that at The Store. I like my retail shifts and forced social interactions in small doses. I also like money. I did my thing, then drove home during a massive snowstorm.

Today was alright emotions-wise, I guess. As per usual, Kris and I caught up while he was slapping bleach on my scalp. I see him every four weeks, so he probably knows more about my life than some of my friends do. I gave him an update on what’s been going on with Logan. It made me a little upset again. There’s not much I can do about that whole situationship anymore, though. There’s also not much sense in continuing to write an essay about it every night.

Had a late dinner at home after I got back from The Store, and then took a steam shower in the basement and got high in my bathroom afterwards. Very high.

I want a fairytale romance. From start to finish. The kind where you meet your Prince Charming unexpectedly, and you’re instantly drawn to one another. Where, with just one glance, it feels like you’ve known the person your whole life. You’re so in love and comfortable with one another on every level, and it stays that way forever. I want that. I want a happily ever after.

I also want to sleep in until dinner tomorrow.

Goodnight xo

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