Chapter 2: "Okay put the diaper down... let's talk about it"
“Spill the deets bitch”
I smirk and continue searching the cereal aisle for wheat-choco bombs. I swear if I ever find the guy who created this master piece I would bow down and worship him. These babies are delicious to a whole another level.
“Natalia Bree Anderson. Stop acting like this.”
I raise an eyebrow at him.
“Oh cmon” he whined. “At least tell me you did something interesting. George was in such a hurry he did not even let me reach...”
I put my hand over his mouth “you do realize there are kids around here. I don’t want to get thrown out of this supermarket too. So shut up. Ew, did you just lick my hand.” I take my hand and wipe it on his shirt.
Julian just blows a raspberry at me like a 4-year old and walks away swaying his hips. I swear I don’t know why I am friends with this guy.
Just kidding, this guy is literally my lifeline. I mean he is the only person who sticked with me all these years. I am not the most friendly person out there plus I can’t tolerate girls whinning at all. Guys just take interest in me to sleep with me which I am not complaining about (bcuz seriously a girl gotta eat). But even those boys lose their appeal to me once I am done with them.
Julian too at first was just plain annoying. But even when I got in trouble he never left me like others did. In fact, he himself was quite a criminal mind. Our thinking frequencies match on so many levels. Soon we became best buddies and since then we always go partying together. We are each other’s wingman/wingwoman. Having a best friend who is crazy like you is a true blessing. We talk about every single thing that happens and we both know each other better than ourselves.
I walk out of the cereal aisle and go towards the wine section because I know that’s where he will be.
True enough I see him checking wine bottles with utmost reverence. I join him and my eyes sparkle seeing all the bottles. Yes, we both take drinking very seriously.
I put a few bottles in the cart. “He was good” I say leaning against the trolley. Julian turns to me with a confused look his eyes still sparkling “What”.
I shake my head in amusement. This guy seriously forgets everything if alcohol is around.
“The guy from cafe. Turns out he can move very skilfully plus he got a model’s body.”
“Well at least one of us had a good time” he gave me a smug look. “Hey, what was the thing that you wanted to tell me” he asked turning back to admire the bottles.
See, this morning I had met up with him at the cafe to tell him about this thing well more like situation. But then he distracted me with whole ‘love’ thing. I had forgotten all about it till now.
Julian looked back at me since I had gone quiet.
“Lia what happened? You have gone a little pale.”
“Umm see Julian why don’t I tell about it you at home. I have a feeling you won’t be liking what I have to say” and then I quickly turn around and go to the next aisle which is full of baby diapers.
What the fuck were these people thinking? Who keeps diaper section next to a wine section? This is pure evil. I mean the pregnant lady or whoever it is that will be buying the diapers obviously can’t get drunk. Making this arrangement is like waving a burger in front of a homeless man.
“Woah, what was that” Julian stops the cart standing in front of me. “Lia you know you can tell me anything. Just say it. Is this about the condom you stole from my bag at school?”
“What? No! I never borrow condom from you. You pick the most disgusting flavours.”
“Oh please. You never know until you try it. But stop changing the topic. What is it?”
“Julian I’ll tell you when we get home.”
He furrows his eyebrows “you know, you are just making me too curious. Just tell me or I am not letting you go.” He crosses his arms.
I am momentarily distracted by his biceps (cuz biceps are hot!) but snap out of it quickly. Guess I’ll have to say it here. I can’t believe I am having this convo surrounded by cotton-stuffed underpants.
“See it’s like this..”
“Whats like what?”
“What is actually?”
“Would you let me finish!” I snap.
His lips twitch. Urgh.. the bastard is playing with me. I am sure he won’t be smiling when I tell him, I smirk mentally.
Julian taps his foot and is pointing to his invisible watch on wrist acting like a dramatic woman. I look up to the sky to control myself from screaming at him. Well here goes nothing.
“I’m leaving this town and going to Florida.”
Unlike my prediction, he starts laughing. He’s literally howling. He says “Lia, if you for a second thought you could fool me like that you are wrong. Cmon this lie, and to me out of all people.”
I can understand what he’s going at. He knows there is literally no way of me going anywhere. But suddenly things have changed. How do I explain it.
“Julian I’m not joking. Look I’m sorry I didn’t want this either.”
He looks at me for a second. Slowly his smile falls off (hah! Turns out my prediction was true... ok partially true but still).
“You’re being serious here.”
“Yes, trust me.... Woah woah woah” I immediately put my hands up in defence.
“Julian calm down. Okay, put the diaper down... let’s talk about it” I don’t know why I am panicking cuz I am sure diaper bags don’t hurt. But this is Julian who is aiming a huge pack of ‘Happy and Dry Nappies’ at me. You can never underestimate this lad.
“Calm down. Seriously! How did you even think about leaving me alone bitch.”
“Judy honey sweetheart. Just listen to me ok. I swear it’s not my fault. I can’t help it. Please just....” I flatter as I see behind Julian a woman who is watching us wide-eyed. She quickly turns around and marches out. Julian also saw her I guess which is why he put the diaper pack down and stormed out off the supermarket.
I sigh and quickly make my way to the cashier. I take the bags to the car and dump them in the backseat. Julian is in the front seat and is facing the driver’s side probably to not look at me. I get into the driver’s seat and he turns his face to look outside. I guess he will be giving me silent treatment which is way better. What would I have done if he went somewhere to avoid me? But I know this bitch; he won’t be leaving since there is alcohol in the bags.
“The only reason I’m sitting here is because of the bottle of Jack and Daniels” he mutters. Called it.
“Julian you do know I would never hurt you intentionally.”
He just turns the volume up of radio. I sigh and continue driving. He’s being dramatic because he is too sad. I guess I’ll have to wait till home.
BANG! On my face! That little devil slamed the door at my face even though he knew I was carrying two very heavy bags all alone. I am starting to get irritated but then remember he’s just upset and I would have to be patient with him.
I put one bag down and open the door. Julian is sitting on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy. Great, just flipping great. Show the angry man how to cut open one’s skull. That will help.
I carefully go to the kitchen and keep the stuff down. Then I go to my Grandma’s Room to check on her.
Actually this is my Grandma’s place. I have been staying here ever since I was 14. My mom sent me to this town to an all girls boarding school when I was 6 years. Apparently she could not handle my so called-tantrums and she literally kicked me out. When I was 12 years my dad abandoned my mother and brother for some woman he met. My life has never been same since. I was this quiet child till 12 years. But after all this I started pulling pranks on school teachers and authorities just to get a relief from everything.
When I was 14 I got expelled from school for some prank that got out of hand. The school called my mother to take me back home. My mother said that they could kick me out and hung up on them. Turns out the office lady was kind enough and did a background check. Luckily my grandma whom I had visited only once when I was five lived in the same town. She kindly took me in. I got enrolled in a public school and there is where I met Julian.
Grandma is quite old so I take care of her. She is the best.
“Nana are you asleep?” I ask softly.
“Oh I was just going to sleep.”
“Did you eat.”
“Yes hun and I also took my medicines now go away and let me rest.”
I chuckle “Goodnight Nana”. I close the door softly. Now it’s time to face the real disaster of the day.
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