Chapter 28: Kiss Him, Kiss Him, Kiss Him
(Max is Stephen James. Stephen James is Max. minus the tattoos though)
It’s been a month since Luke and I broke up. I wish I could say I was in my personal heaven, drinking beers and hooking up with cute sexy guys. But nope. Not at all. I mean sure I flirt with random guys every now and then, but I can’t bring myself to even kiss them. Not because it felt wrong or anything, but because I don’t want to.
I realized that I am not angry. Sure that night I was feeling hurt, but I was not angry. Ok fine, maybe a little angry. But that vanished after few moments. I was just wanting to break it up with Luke, because I felt too burdened. There are already so many secrets, I could not handle more.
Luke’s been Luke. His face revealed nothing even when he saw a guy putting his arms around me. Max sure as hell gave the guy a warning glare but otherwise nothing happened. I just wish I had some tool to break open his skull and know what the fuck is he thinking? Has he really moved on from me? I don’t want to hurt him, but did he really forget me so easily.
I got my answers when last week I spotted Luke and Ivy sitting in Starbucks, as I was returning from studio. They were too busy on their own to see me getting all misty eyed. I hate myself for being so small and selfish. This was what I wanted anyways. This is better for me, for him.
Luke and Ivy are perfect for each other. They will date, then get married and have cute little babies who will be born with laptops in their hand. They will live in a huge mansion with three computers in every room. At night they will tie each other to bed with computer cables as they develop mind-blowing orga-
“Lia? Are you okay?” Julian shakes me. I snap out of my daze.
“Of course I am fine. Why do you ask?” I glare at Julian.
“For starters you have crushed your juice box” he points. I look at the misshaped box, as red color juice poodles at my feet, running down my hands. I quickly throw it away.
“Fuck” I mutter wiping my hands with a tissue.
“What were you thinking?” Julian laughs.
“Stuff” I mumble and go join rest of the boys in parking area.
“Let us gooo.. I’m hungry” Julian whines from beside me.
“We are waiting for Ian. Where is that littl-” Alex stops short as he sees an angry girl marching towards us.
“Katherine wait” Ian comes in view. His hair is all messed up, and his shirt buttons are done wrong.
“Kathie I am sorry. I did not mean to put it there” Ian says desperately as he reaches her.
The boys chuckle quietly as the girl gives him a murderous look, “Get away from me you dog!”
“Get lost!” she shouts furiously as she swings her leg back and kicks Ian between the legs in full force. Each one of us flinch. Even I can’t help but cringe, because if she had kicked me like that it would have hurt like a bitch. So I can’t even imagine how it must be for Ian.
The girl storms past us as Ian kneels on the ground. Tears roll down his cheeks as he turns into a bright shade of red. Few students are coming into the parking lot. Without a single word, all boys surround Ian, covering him as he clutches his crotch.
The students give a weird look as to why the boys were standing in a half circle. One of them opens their mouth to ask, but Dylan cuts him off with a death glare. Once they leaves, Max helps him up as Luke brings the car.
“Man, do you need to go to the doctor?” Alex asks.
“I doubt we could ever call him that after what happened” Dylan mutters. Max punches him, making him shut up.
Ian manages to shake his head as a no, as Alex helps him sit in Luke’s car. Alex also gets in and they drive off.
We also follow their suit going to Luke’s house. Now, you must be thinking why Luke’s house. It’s because we were all invited by Jane. Apparently one of their relatives came from London, so she asked if we wanted to come try authentic British snacks. Obviously everyone said yes.
I tried to back out but it is very difficult to argue with Max and Julian combined. I got two painful smacks on my head for trying to say no.
“Here sit on the couch” Alex helps Ian. We all are seated comfortably in a beautiful living room. I came to know Jane was an interior designer, so their entire house looked super classy.
“Hey kids” Jane happily greets us coming into the living room.
“Hi Jane” everybody chirps except for Ian who manages to give a small wave.
“Oh dear, what happened to him?” she asked concerned.
“Nothing Mom. He’ll be fine” Luke says coming into the living room holding an ice pack.
“You kids should be careful” Jane mumbles eyeing the ice pack.
“Anyways, I have to go. Everything is set on the dinning table. If you all are still hungry-” she catches herself laughing. “You kids are always hungry. Just order pizza.”
Everybody nods eagerly, as Jane goes towards the door.
“Drive safely” Luke says fixing the collar of her shirt. She smiles at him. I have seen that smile before. It’s the same smile my mother gives to Max. It’s the same smile mothers gave their kids. I look away to stop tormenting myself with old memories.
I watch as Ian finally stops groaning as he puts the ice pack over his crotch. I laugh quietly at how relived all the guys looked. It was like they were sharing his pain.
“I don’t need pizza. I am so full, I might burst” Dylan groans.
Everybody hums in agreement feeling to lazy to speak. We ate different types of pies, scones, trifles, breads, pasty. Everything tasted so good.
“I need more water” I announce.
Luke points towards the kitchen. I loudly mutter ‘bad host’ going into the kitchen making his lips twitch. He has been giving me weird looks today. I caught him looking at me twice. I mean I should be happy since I was the one whining that he moved on quickly, but they were not longing looks. They were more like puzzled looks.
I find a glass and pour myself water. I admire the neat kitchen, glancing at the clean island. I almost drop the glass in my hand in shock as I see it. I put the glass away and clutch the magazines lying on the kitchen counter.
On the second magazine from top is a picture of me posing in gym wear. My hands go cold from fear. I hide the magazine behind me as I hear someone entering the kitchen.
Luke raises an eyebrow as to why I am standing in the middle of the kitchen pale and wide-eyed. Then he looks at the rest of the magazines on counter.
He sighs, “I saw them already.”
My first instinct was to ask ‘Were they good?’
“I-I can explain” I stutter.
“Right now, just go join the others.”
I nod taking shaky steps towards the dinning room.
“Lia, relax” Luke catches my arm as I pass him. “I promise no one saw them, except me. And I will believe whatever you tell me” he says softly.
Now my heart is thudding for completely different reasons.
Once again I stand under the window. I never thought I would have to climb this wall again. Without further ado I reach the ledge and peep inside like a Peeping-Tom, because in the back of my head I was hoping to see those abs again.
So what we broke up? I can still admire male specimen.
Yeah.. my brain laughs.
Luke is lying on his bed. I can see his shoes which are crossed at the ankles. I knock on the window pane.
Luke sits up like a lightening bolt looking towards the window, “Lia?”
“The one and only” I sing, laughing nervously.
Luke puts on his glasses from the nightstand, as he opens the window fully.
“How come I haven’t freaked out your neighbors by now” I ask standing in his room.
“Mrs. Potts has a poor vision” Luke answers rolling his office chair towards me as he sits on the bed.
“I was thinking you will pull me into some room, tomorrow morning at school. I totally forgot this was your more favorite method” Luke says resting his elbows on his thighs.
“I’ll assume by this you mean crawling into rooms like a cat-burglar” I respond making him smile softly. I am momentarily distracted by his bright eyes which are shining like molten emerald.
“So, I guess I owe you an explanation” I rub my hands.
Luke shrugs. “You don’t have to” he says quietly. I open my mouth to protest.
“I won’t tell anyone either” he interrupts.
“I know you won’t” I smile sadly. “But I want to explain a little. I don’t want you assuming the worst.”
“I won’t” he frowns. “I am sure whatever it is, you had your.. reasons.”
Why did I break up with him again?
“Look. My mother got me into this. It’s a part-time job. It is easy and it’s good money which I’ll be needing for further studies and stuff” I explain.
“Does Max know?” Luke asks.
“No. No one knows except for my mother, and Julian, because he mostly drives me to locations and studios” I answer. He nods.
“I don’t want anyone knowing because I don’t want that kind of attention. So I made a deal with the agency that the magazines will be sold outside America” I continue. “It’s actually fun though. I get to wear pretty dresses” I smile.
Luke huffs in amusement.
“My aunt brought those magazines along with the food. I saw them this morning, and hid the ones with your pictures, just for precaution” he gives a one-shoulder shrug.
“Thank you. I really appreciate it” I say gratefully. “It is good if your mom knows nothing.”
“She does not know nothing” Luke mumbles looking away.
“What?” I ask sitting up. Luke gives me a forced smile.
“Remember that night you brought me coffee”
“Yeah, what about that?” I ask suspiciously.
“My mom heard you. Well she heard voices and later confronted me. And I could not..” he trails off. I go quiet from shock. No wonder she smiled so brightly at me.
“It’s ok. I understand, you could not lie to her” I sigh.
“It’s not because I don’t want to lie” Luke says defensively. “It’s because I can’t lie to her. That woman sees right through me” he grumbles. I laugh at his annoyed expression.
“Does she know we broke up?” She must be knowing, because she’s setting Ivy and Luke on dates.
“No, the topic was never brought up” he answers.
So, Luke came to his right senses and asked Ivy out..
“I’ll leave you to handle that” I say standing up. I feel reluctant to go. I want to stay in his pretty bedroom. I don’t even want to do anything. Just stay in the corner and watch this boy.
“If you-” Luke begins hesitantly. I stop and look at him.
“If you ever need help, I-I mean, not in a wrong way-” he adds quickly. “-you can come to me. Like if you need a ride or anything.”
Just when I was thinking that he did not give a damn about me, he has to say something like this. I feel warm from the genuineness of voice. He did not say that out of formality. I bob my head smiling, not trusting myself to speak.
My gaze locks with his, as the air zings with anticipation.
Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him,.. my heart chants.
Luke’s eyes darken a shade, because he must be thinking the same thing. But I know he is too much of a gentleman to do anything. All I have to do is take a step forward and connect our lips, but my brain brings up Ivy’s face in neon red color.
I break the stare and mumble a goodnight, quickly scrambling down the window.
My body shakes violently with silent sobs, as tears run down my face. It was too much to handle. Everything was so around the corner, and to top everything off I spent the entire evening in crippling fear that my cover would be blown and the entire town would be talking shit about me, adding fuel to my mother’s hatred. I listen to the dull thudding of my heart, as I choke on my sobs. I want nothing more than to run to that boy’s arm and seek a strand of solace. But I can’t do that. I have to remain strong.
Right now, I’ll just allow myself few moments of weakness.
Now, I swear I try to be a good person. I really do. But we all have our weakest moments right. I am having mine now.
I had spotted Lukey boy buying flowers from a flower shop. The bouquet was so pretty, full of blood red royal roses. So I am following him like a stalker, wanting to know who gets them.
He must have bought it for Ivy.
They must be having a date. Fuck, I should stop being so pathetic and leave him alone. So I just stop and go home.
I mean, yeah I went home in the version where I am normal because right now I am hot at his trail as the boy walks on, completely clueless to the psycho bitch at his ass.
Luke walks down a street taking turns, all the while holding the flowers like he was holding a baby. I know I’ll be feeling shit about myself, but I can’t control. I see Luke vanishing.
It’s a deserted street as I scan around to see if this Ivy chic pops out on me. Once all is clear I tip-toe to where he vanished. I feel paralyzed as I see the word ‘G-R-A-V-E-Y-A-R-D’ on the rusted grilled gate.
My eyes find Luke beyond the grills where he is sitting quietly in front of a grave.
Who do you think Luke visited? Any guesses?
Also, I just ( *eyeing you all creepily* ) wanted to tell you guys ( *rocking back and forth from too much excitement* ) some or many of Lia’s past secrets will be revealed in the next chapter.
Not at all sorry for the little spoiler :p