The Bad Girl's Nerd

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Chapter 51: Why Don't You Squeeze And Find Out?

Lia’s POV:-

“Jane? I didn’t know you’ll be here?” I say nervously.

Sure ask a woman why she’s at her own fucking house? That’s not rude..

“Oh honey, I had a day off,” she says totally cool, not taking offense. “You must be here for Luke, because he stormed into his room an hour ago and has locked himself up since then.”

“Yeah, that’s me,” I say guiltily.

“Look you can go try coaxing him to open the door. I have to go grocery shopping... I hope you kids make up,” she smiles sympathetically, and puts on her shoes and leaves. I stand for a second contemplating my next move.

“Oh fuck it,” I mutter and go upstairs. I knock once. No response. I knock again. And again. After half hour of sitting in front of the door and knocking and calling Luke’s name I get up. It was useless. I doubt if he’s even in the room, because I heard nothing.

I was pouting at the closed door, walking back when I get knocked over a table. I loose my balance and cascade to the ground. The huge ceramic jar on the table felt pity for me, and gave me company, crashing down really loudly and scattering around me.

“Great, just flipping great,” I mutter irritated. Like a miracle the door bursts open with a concerned looking Luke. “Mom?!”

Then he sees me and freezes in shock. He had headphones hanging around his neck. Even from ground, I could hear faint thumping music.

“Hi,” I wave, giving a smile.

“Christ! Are you hurt?” he kneels down next to me. I shake my head, looking at him cautiously. “Get up,” he takes my hand and helps me up. He turns me around looking for cuts, fortunately there weren’t any. I had lost my power of speech, because I was freaking out.

I had first hurt this boy, then I had followed him to his house when he clearly wanted space and then I had destroyed this weird-ass jar, that could easily be something of ancestral importance. Why am I such a hot damn mess?

We were just standing side by side staring at the broken pieces. Luke had unconsciously put his hand around me. I felt very aware of the firm palm resting above my butt-crack. He sighs and makes me step further away from the pieces.

Then he goes downstairs. Not knowing what to do, I follow him. He goes into the kitchen and gets a broom and a dustpan. He ignores me as he moves around the house, getting a dustbin and then going back to the sight of crime.

“I’ll do it-”

“No,” he orders gently. “You’ll get hurt. Stay back,” he says kneeling down. My obdurate ass goes around him and helps him put the bigger pieces in the dustbin. He just clenches his jaw, and continues to carefully collect the smaller pieces and dust, into the dustpan. I hold out the dustbin for him to put the waste into it.

He goes down, to place the broom back in it’s place, while I place the dustbin back. I go back upstairs to find him standing near the table I stupidly bumped into. He turns to me as he sees me coming. I make the mistake of making eye-contact, and stumble under his stare.

“Are you sure, you are okay? You didn’t hurt your back?” he asks quietly as I come near.

“My back? You mean, did I hurt my ass?”

His lips falter for a second, and I think he was going to smile, but then he just nods blankly. I want to answer, “Why don’t you squeeze and find out?” but I bite back my response and reply, “I’m fine.”

“Alright then,” he nods. He had removed his headphones. “Go home,” he mutters going into his room and shutting the door. I wedge my foot in between to stop him.

“No! Wait..”

Luke holds the door looking pissed, “Why? You want to break more stuff?”

I try to hold back my hurt look. “Lia,” he sighs, pushing up his glasses with his knuckles. “It’s okay alright. I hated that jar, and you breaking it.. is like a gift for me. My mother can’t get mad at you, and I don’t have to look at the creepy thing everyday. So don’t worry.”

“Still,” I say frowning stubbornly. “You can’t be alone right now, and I have a rhino-ass apology to make,” I push open his door wider.

“That’s really kind of you, but I’m not in the mood. So pleas-”

I kiss him. I didn’t know what else to do so I kiss him. I swear it had nothing to do with the fact that his hair was all messed up giving him a very endearing look. Nor the fact that he had changed to loose shorts, and an old t-shirt that looked so soft, that I could tear it with my teeth. And definitely not because his lips looked succulently pink, or should I say almost red cause he was biting them.

He staggers under my weight, since I threw myself on him but he steadies me, his hands firmly on the sides of my body. He doesn’t respond for a whole two seconds, and I was starting to lose hope, but then his arm slides around me and he kisses me back. And oh boy..

It was almost painful. He pinned me to the door, which at some point had closed and he just mauls my mouth. He lifts me up, thrusting his body into me. I try to hold him, but my senses were dulling from the fierce kiss. My legs were hooked to his waist, and I moan uncontrollably.

Luke’s eyes flashes to mine, black, the poison green almost invisible. He makes a feral sound and throws me on his bed. Before I could catch my breath, he was on me again, pinning me down with his heavy body. I try to match his pace, kiss back just as passionately but I could feel myself slipping at moments, because of the consistent poke against my thigh. He lifts my body a little and his stick gets shoved right into my core making me open my mouth in an embarrassingly loud moan. Luke’s hands dig into my skin his soft tongue plunging my mouth. I trail my hands down his warm body, but he pins my hand above my head in a tight grip as if knowing my intentions.

“Don’t” he mutters breathing heavily. “If you do that, I won’t be able to stop myself, and I don’t want it to happen when I’m like this.”

I nod, my knees unhooking themselves from his body. He just lays over me, looking at me. I watch in fascination as the green of his eyes slowly return.

“Your eyes are just..” I say in wonder. He kisses me softly and lifts himself. My lips felt raw and tender. Luke goes to the bathroom as I sit on the bed, running my hands through my hair. He comes back and goes about his room.

“Luke I-”

I stop as Luke looks at me. “Not now,” he shakes his head and lays on the bed in front of me staring at the ceiling. I start feeling distant so I shift forward, though not close enough to touch him, and take his hand playing with his fingers.

“I’m sorry.”

My head snaps up at Luke. “Are you fucking kidding m-”

“It was not right to say that,” he interrupts sitting up.

“God.. Luke,” I laugh in disbelief. “Don’t fucking embarrass me and say sorry. For once could you give me the real shit, and stop being so nice. Instead of sorry tell me I was an insensitive bitch, who needs to see what crap she’s sprouting,” I say feeling my face grow hot in annoyance.

“Even your neck gets red,” he muses looking at my throat.

“Luke focus!” I snap moving closer to him on my knees. “Look, I am terribly sorry, and I feel worst for saying... that to you. Now tell me I’m an insensitive bitch with a nasty bitchy mouth.”

His lips twitch uncontrollably. “Lia, you didn’t know what happened, so it’s not your fault. I can look past my hurt to realize that okay? Although what you did say... Not gonna lie, hurt like a bitch,” he shrugs. I laugh at the way he said ‘bitch’ like me.

“Sorry, I should not be laughing,” I shake my head. I sit on my knees, holding his face, “Baby... I am so sorry,” I say in remorse. “I swear I could never dream of hurting you. If I could, I would take back what I said in a heartbeat bu-”

“It’s okay Lia,” Luke smiles softly, kissing my palms. “I had accepted your apology in that kiss,” he grins. I roll my eyes.

“Seriously, whenever I am angry, just kiss me. Just cling to me like monkey and kiss me,” he whispers pulling me closer and pressing a kiss on top of my breast.

“I see what you are doing. Don’t try to distract me,” I scowl pushing him away. He gives a guilty smile. “You can’t ignore it now Luke. You have to tell me what happened along with the meaning of 143.”

“That you have to figure out on your own,” Luke replies making me groan in frustration. “And about my sister, do you really wanna know now? I’m guessing the boys must have briefed you..” he trails off. I nod. “Do you really want to?” he asks again making me clench my fist irritated. “It will darken the atmosphere,” he warns.

“Yes I want to. And really, darken the atmosphere? Is that why you haven’t told me till now?” I ask crossly. Luke gives a brief nod.

“Honey, I tell you shit about me all the time. Does that mean I was darkening the atmosphere all those times?”

“No,” Luke frowns. “Why would you think tha- Oh...” He says in realization. I give him a pointed look.

“Alright. My bad, I should have told you. I guess I myself was avoiding telling you. It’s not something I am able to talk about easily.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “I shouldn’t force yo-”

“No, don’t,” Luke says hurriedly. “I want to tell you. Don’t give me any excuses.”

“Oh.. Well then,” I say a little confused. “Luke tell me, or I’m not leaving your room.”

“You really don’t know me,” Luke shakes his head smiling. “But it’s okay, I can do this.” He breathes deeply.

“What do you know about, catatonic schizophrenia?” he asks rubbing his face.

“Nothing?” I say meekly.

“It’s a mental disorder. My sister.. Jaelynn,” his voice gets a small quiver. “She was diagnosed with it when she was nine.”

“Elder sister?”

Luke nods looking at our hands. “Five years older... Because of.. that disorder.. she always felt nervous, and stopped going to school. It started with small complaints. Whenever we went outside, she used to cry that everybody was looking at her. Mom used to think she was just pulling tricks to get her to buy more chocolates. But it became serious, when she started shivering in fright, just at the thought of going outside.

We had to leave her alone in a room, because she would get afraid of company. It worsened to the point where, she could not even tolerate me in the room. And Jae used to love playing with me.”

I listen quietly, my heart in my mouth. “She used to wake screaming at nights saying someone was in her room,” Luke continues. “The fear in her eyes, I still see them in my dreams,” he whispers putting his face in his hands.

“Dreams? Are they scary?”

Luke shakes his head, “It’s not nightmare Lia. It’s just because.. I miss her so much. I remember her carrying me around the house, and scolding dad because he threw the ball at me too hard. She gave me, my love for reading. She would make me sit with her and read her storybooks, and then tell me how she imagined the story. Oh God, what wild imaginations she had, so vibrant. I used to watch open-mouthed as she acted out the stories using the furniture as her props.”

“How did she..”

“She killed herself in the psychiatric hospital with a knife,” Luke whispers, making my mouth drop open. “We tried to treat her at home, but she kept getting worse, that mom dad had to send her away. It broke their heart to leave their child in an unknown place. My mom quit her job, so she could hang around more at the hospital. I cried and whined asking my parents to bring her back. It was a mess,” he sniffs, blinking away tears.

“I’m so sorry,” I say hugging him. He places his head on my shoulder, just breathing.

“How old were you when she..” I couldn’t say the word because my throat felt too heavy.

“Five years,” he answers, wiping his eyes. “I didn’t understand the concept of death that time,” he mutters lying on his bed. I also lay down on one elbow, to watch Luke.

“I used to bawl for hours,” he says looking at me. “I was just so angry at my parents for leaving her in the ground. I would beg them, to go dig her out. That she’ll be scared there all alone. My mother had a tough time, calming her living child, over the loss of a dead child. She tried her best to explain that Jae was never coming back, but I refused to believe.”

I remember how I kept avoiding to acknowledge the fact that Nana had died. Luke made me get past it, because he knew how difficult it is to keep living a lie.

“I would secretly stand out in the balcony at nights,” he continued as if in a trance. “Stupidly hoping that if she managed to dig her way out, but forgot the house, I could just wave her over” he chuckles sadly.

“Slowly and painfully I started calming down. I started believing what mom told me. Only then I began to notice, the agony hanging over my house. My mom didn’t yell orders to my father anymore. He didn’t watch any games. My parents never left the house, never watched a movie together.

My only escape was school, with my friends. They knew how my sister had died, and were careful never to talk about their siblings in front of me,” Luke smiles at the memory. I was clutching Luke’s t-shirt, listening attentively.

“I hated coming home because no one smiled, or joked around like before, which was weird because I didn’t want anyone to smile without Jae... I don’t understand how my brain used to work at that time,” he shrugs. He turns to lay sideways, looking at the space between us lost in his thoughts. We stayed quiet for a long time.

“One time,” Luke says looking at me. “I saw my parents in the dining room. They were just holding hands.. crying. My mom gave me a smile when she saw me. She had lost so much weight. I said nothing and returned to my room.” I wipe away a tear that escapes his eyes.

“At nights I used to peak out of my room, to find my father roaming around. Sometimes he went into Jae’s room, stay there till mornings, and then go to work. Sometimes he went out into the terrace... Just few years before, I discovered my mom had been taking sleeping pills those days,” Luke closes his eyes, looking pained. I spread my palms delicately over his cheek. He snuggles into it.

“How did it go back to normal?”

“I don’t know,” Luke mumbles. “Over time my father’s visit to her room became shorter. Instead he started sneaking into my room at nights. My bed was small for him, his feet hung outside, but he still hugged me to sleep. I always pretended to be asleep, but I think he knew that. He never said anything though, just held me like I would also be snatched away from him.

My mom had started decorating my lunch boxes again with smiley faces. She had found a new job, so she looked more focused... I’m very proud of my mother, for having the strength to go to work and then come back later and play with me.”

“Give your dad some credit too,” I poke his arm.

“Of course,” he says smiling softly. “He was the strongest among everybody. He handled my mom, handled the house. Even though he can’t cook, he managed to put together something for me, whenever mom felt too tired, and kept going to work. I want to become the man he is.”

I want to say that he’s halfway there, but keep my mouth shut.

“He even made sure, I was not slacking in school. Even though he didn’t have to..” Luke says barely holding back his smirk.

“You arrogant chipmunk,” I hit his arm.

“Soon, we started doing movie nights again. We even went camping,” Luke sighs.

“You all have been through so much,” I comment.

Luke shrugs getting up on his elbow, “I’m just glad we moved past it, without any major damage. What would I have done, if my mom had become addicted to the pills? The very thought scares me to my bones.”

“You guys are doing just fine,” I smile at him.

“I know and everytime I feel aware of the fact, I feel so grateful,” Luke replies stroking my cheeks with his knuckles. “Every festival, like before Thanksgiving Dinner we say a small prayer and take a moment to remember Jae. My mom gets misty every time,” he says gulping.

“That’s so sweet of you guys,” I murmur kissing his forehead. “Tell me more about Jae?”

“Alright,” Luke smiles confused. “She was elder to me, like I said. Thin and tall, but she could kick the ball outside the yard. I was too small, so I would just run beside her leaving dad as solo player.”

“More,” I say making him bite back a smile. I was lying on my stomach, my face held up on elbows. I don’t know why, maybe because I never had these family experiences, I always loved it when Luke talked about his family.

“Umm.. She was closer to dad. After sending me to sleep, she and dad would sit on the barcalounger reading. I used to sneak past mom, and join them sometimes. My dad always got scolded, because of letting me stay up with them,” Luke smiles at the bittersweet memories.

“Jae had such dreams. One day she’ll be president, next day she’s an dragon hunter. She used to make me and dad sit in one place, and explain the exact procedure of how she planned to accomplish her dreams. I always used to doze off.”

“What was your dream?” I ask eagerly.

“I had my dream fixed. Brick cutter. I don’t know what the fuck that is, but I remember being adamant over it. Jae hated that I was so at.. one place.”

I laugh and turn over to lie beside him, staring at his ceiling.

“That pen you mended, it was a gift from her,” Luke says making my head snap towards him.

“Holy crap,” I muse.

“My mom had send her to some sculpting classes, because once dad told her about the sculptures in Vatican City and she insisted on making one herself. Her first project was that pen, which she gave me to safeguard,” Luke smiles.

“What else did she make?”

“That was the only one. Soon after she was...” he swallows with difficulty. I hold his hand feeling my heart ache.

“You know,” he says after some time. “My mom thinks if Jae had grown up, she would look a lot like Ivy.” My mouth forms an ‘O’ in realization.

“Because my mother said that, I always kept imaging her as Jae,” Luke admits. “God I felt so stupid that day, when I found out she liked me.”

“Yeah, she’s quite a treat,” I smile forcefully making Luke laugh softly.


“I thought, I would shout at you if I saw you again,” Luke whispers, his hands playing with my top. I was facing the other way, using his hand as a pillow.

“But you didn’t,” I reply covering his hands with mine.

“Exactly. I saw you and forgot what I was thinking. Then I realized, I had wanted you to come. I wanted to hear you talk,” he murmurs.

“But you told me to go away,” I say turning to lie flat, feeling confused.

“Because I was pissed at myself for not realizing sooner,” Luke rests his forehead against my shoulder.

“I think the only time you ever actually raised your voice at me, was when I punched that girl and then played clueless,” I cringe at the memory.

“I was a mess those days. I wanted you so badly, and I couldn’t do anything about it,” Luke says in longing. “It was the first time, I had trouble with dealing with my feelings... Don’t even get me started on my hormones,” Luke mutters.

“Really?” I ask turning to face him, feeling pleased. “You wanted to fuck me?”

“My thoughts were filthy those days,” Luke admits.

“No offence to all the lovely waiting, you make me do,” I say making him give a reluctant smile. “But what are you waiting for? We are not even a secret anymore.”

“I don’t know, I want it to be perfect,” Luke shrugs.

“Oh Lord,” I groan. “Please don’t make me do it under moonlight, with flowers on bed, and musicians in the background. I can already imagine, the violins hit a peak while I orgasm... It’s not funny!”

“Sorry,” Luke breathes. “By perfect, I meant in the moment.”

“Luke we’ve had hundreds of moments,” I snap. “You stop me every time. Is it because you are insecure of your dick?”

“What? No!”

“Lemme see it,” I say sitting up and pulling his shorts. “I waited long enough.”

“Lia stop!” Luke laughs pulling his shorts back up, but not before I got a sneak of grey boxers.

It’s perverted to be turned on by a color..

“Luke honey, I know I will go, ‘Wow, oh my God’ when I see it. I’ve felt it and it’s impressive. Just stop being such a wuss,” I growl sitting on top of him and pinning his hands over his head.

“Baby, I just want our first time together to be memorable. Not a hazy, sweaty memory in the school closet,” Luke answers.

“Luke I am desperate enough, to finish things before it starts to get sweaty,” I snap.

“Always so impatient,” he murmurs moving our hands upwards making me come closer to him. “You can try all you want, but I am going to take my time with you,” he whispers in my ear.

“You can say ‘I fart with my penis’ in my ear, and I would still get turned on,” I say blankly.

“Oh God,” Luke laughs at the ceiling, putting his hands around me. I lie listening to laughter rumble through his chest.

“Luke, come down here for a second.”

We hear Jane’s call from downstairs. Luke gets up, “C’mon.”

“She only called you,” I point out which Luke ignores, and pulls me up the bed. We go to the kitchen to find three bags full of groceries and other things. Luke said we should not bring up the topic of the jar, and just wait for few months until Jane notices the missing thing herself.

“Aww.. You guys made up,” Jane coos on seeing us together. “That’s wonderful.. Luke, your father has an urgent business trip,” she says hurriedly putting things away.

“Where to?” Luke asks taking out things and handing it to her. I too start emptying the bags.

“Milan. It’s some important.. stock exchange thing? Anyways, your father has to leave tonight, and that man wants me to go with him,” Jane shakes her head angrily. “He literally sulked when I said I didn’t want to go. Can you believe him?” she asks putting her hands on her hips.

“You know he hates travelling,” Luke comments, leaning against the isle.

“The things I do,” Jane mutters making me stifle a laugh. “Anyways, I think we’ll be gone for some days, and I have stocked the fridge. Don’t order from outside, and eat healthy okay honey?” Luke nods like a obedient child.

“I’ll cook some dishes and put them in the freezer. Heat them up for dinner,” she says closing the fridge.

“Mom, I’ll be fine. You should go pack,” Luke advices.

“I guess I have to. I am so ditching his father, the moment I get there,” she winks to me making me smirk.

“Oh, and you’ll have the house to yourselves,” she muses. Luke groans, “Mom please don’t.”

“What? I just don’t want grandchildren yet,” Jane says defensively. “Just be careful. I am too young to be a Grandma,” she says to me. I could see her holding back a smile.

“Oh shoot! And here I was planning on making twins, and presenting you with two grandsons,” I hit my hand on the counter in mock-defeat.

“Oh God!” Luke frowns at me in disbelief, while Jane threw back her head and laughed.

“Okay sweetie I am going,” she says to Luke, holding up her hands. “I won’t make you blush any further.”

Jane and I laugh, on seeing Luke hide his face in his hands.


“Once upon a time, I was told that I was ugly,” I sing waving the spatula in the air.

“Came from a bitch whose man wanna fuck on me,
I got my ass bomb, face tight..”

“Face bomb, ass tight,” Julian corrects. I ignore him and continue murdering the beautiful song while making popcorns.

“Why are we watching a German movie?” I ask from beside Julian. My hair was still damp from the long bath I took, to relax the tension from the eventful day. I was in my comfy shorts, munching popcorn and drinking beer. Julian and I were watching TV, and he had put on a random film. It’s been half an hour into the movie.

“Shh..” Julian hits my head, not taking his eyes off screen. “I think she is about to strip.”

“That’s a nun,” I scoff. “Woah, okay.. I’m wrong,” I laugh surprised on seeing her red panties.

“That’s an undercover nun,” Julian explains, not breaking eye-contact with the screen. He was really into the creepy movie.

“Ich liebe dich,” the woman says. I read the subtitles below. “I Love You.”

“Typical,” I scoff drinking my beer. I eye those words and my mind draws up this...

1 = I
4 = L-O-V-E
3 = Y-O-U

I sit up, coughing badly. “Jesus! Shut up woman,” Julian scolds. I stare at the ground open-mouthed frozen in revelation. My heart is pounding as I slowly process the message.

He loves me?!

Me of all the people out there?

My body is numb with shock, the whole chattering of the TV becoming dull to me. I get up and stagger into my bedroom, looking at myself in the mirror.

Me?! He loves me? I ask to myself again.

I need to see him..

I go around the room, quickly putting on some sweatpants. I can’t seem to stop and think, as my heart and my brain wants to see that boy. My body worked on it’s own. I try to brush my hair, but they were all curly and tangled.

“Oh fuck it,” I mutter throwing away my brush and putting on my sneakers. “Julian I’m going out,” I say rushing past him.

“No wait! You can’t leave! It’s a horror movie, and it just got mind-blowingly mysterious,” Julian cries making me stop.

“Well.. note down the name,” I suggest. “We’ll watch it later. Okay bye!”

“Wait, where are you going so late?”

“To Luke’s” I call out opening the door.

“Christ Lenny, don’t scare away that boy with your horny ass,” I hear Julian groaning as I close the door.


Hope you enjoyed this update!

Now, wattpad has a system of dedicating chapters to specific people. But even if Inkitt had that system, it's not like I could use it. I mean, the titles are so crude, that I don’t feel right about it. I mean just think getting a notification that says, _angry_human_ dedicated ‘Why Don’t You Squeeze And Find Out?’, or even worse, _angry_human_ dedicated ‘Do You Have Any Clean Underwear?’ or ‘Hideous, Outrageous, Scratch-My-Eyes-Out Ugly’ to you, I mean instead of love, it would feel plain offensive.

So what I am getting at is that I appreciate the hell out of every vote, every comment and every read. All you people rock my world and I am forever in your debt! *sniff*

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