First bit - Humpty runs away
Humpty Dumpty was sitting on the wall. She’d been there, contemplating the meaning of life and such ever since the cook had told her, “You’re not getting pudding tonight, you should think about going on a diet!”
Humpty had stared at her for almost 4 full minutes before closing her mouth and looking down at the ground. She was mortified. She’d never been talked to that way in her entire life. As the court Jester, she was used to lots of attention, everybody laughed at her jokes and her antics. The Queen had a special place in her heart for Humpty and would invite her into the royal parlor whenever she needed cheering up. Her husband was rather distracted with his new counting-house and when she was missing him, Humpty would go in and entertain the Queen and her friends. She would spend an afternoon or evening chatting with the court ladies and eating bread and honey. She was pampered and applauded and was not used to negative feedback of any sort.
As Humpty stood, staring down at the kitchen flagstones, she was also beginning to feel a little ashamed. She actually couldn’t see her feet. She was staring down at the floor and she couldn’t see her feet because her belly was in the way! Her heart was pounding faster than normal now and she tried to breathe steadily and even to slow it down to normal before looking back up at cook.
With a cold stare and a rather annoyed tone, she took a breath and said, “Alright then, keep your pudding! You’re a mean old witch to say things like that to me! It was probably that sticky rice and raisin mush again anyway and I don’t like that one little bit!” Humpty stuck her chin out and stalked from the kitchen, down the cobbled courtyard path that was especially edged with herbs for the King Cole’s breakfast eggs. As she emerged through the archway at the end of the path, she turned towards the main castle gates. her little legs and tiny, unseen feet, padding a familiar path out of the immediate castle grounds and into the surrounding shopping precinct.