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Business Man

By AidanRiver All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Drama

Chapter One: Portray

“Jim, what are you doing?” A goldfish looked at me with it’s giant eyes and gaping mouth. Her voice was sweet as honey, and she was impeccably dressed in a gray dress suit. It matched her lovely orange scales immaculately.
I continued my unwavering gaze out the 62nd-floor window. “I’m just pondering our current situation,” I told her. My voice was wistful but held an unmistakable power to it.
"By what do you mean?" She asked, "Everything is going perfectly." The woman nervously brushed off her pristine tailored suit. Making sure that every imagined fiber was in its place.
"Miss Alison, you must be aware that everything that is anything is only a preconceived notion. A theory of our delusional minds." I sighed. My hands were weaved together behind my back. I imagined that I looked formidable from behind my form. Glee spread through my body. So I allowed myself to twiddle my thumbs.
"I apologize, Jim, I can be forgetful" Alison replied.
"It is of no consequence. In fact. I'm surprised that you're apologizing; You're shaming the feminist movement by unnecessarily expressing regret over your simple actions" I tittered.
Alison seemed distressed. I suppose I shouldn't tease someone so mercilessly. After all, I have the moral obligation to take care of the feeble-minded. I didn't have to have eyes in the back of my head to know that Alison was becoming frustrated.
"Oh Miss Alison, take that disgruntled look off of your face, it's unbecoming of a lady" I smiled, glad that she couldn't see the expression.
She nodded and scrambled to hand me my cup of coffee. I took a long sip almost absentmindedly. I didn't bother to look at her.
What a waste. Idle chit chat has brought my coffee to a tepid temperature. I have a choice, I could bring this to the attention of my air-headed assistant. Then maybe next time my coffee won't be lukewarm. Or, I look the other way and hope that the problem straightens itself out with time.
I chortled. The idea of a human changing without any outside force was a laughable matter. "Miss Alison, before you ask me irrelevant questions to satisfy your need to hear me muse, please give me the requested coffee."
"Yes, sir."
Miss Alison was flustered. She was embarrassed due to my request because it suggests that she has done wrong. Humans were such egotistical creatures. Always seeking out to be right. Even if they had to use complete ignorance. Luckily, I had practically beaten the need for ignorance and excuses out of my lovely assistant.
"Wonderful, you may go," I told her cheerfully.
The woman left.
Taking my bleeding heart and soul with her... At least, that is what any other beta male would say. But not I. The idea of a woman taking my heart was a laughable matter. After all, I wasn't like the rest of the world. I wasn't an animal who wanted to create mini spawns of Satan. Only to die alone after breaking myself down to take care of my family. No. It wouldn't do. Instead, I would die alone after living a prosperously indulgent life.
Looking out the window, I could see the vast city and its occupants hustling and bustling.
Turning away from my window, I went to go sit down at my desk. It was made out of the finest mahogany. From a tree that took hundreds of years to grow, and most likely housed a few dozen animals, insects, and organisms at some point. Now it was just a polished up corpse where I would pretend to be working.
I opened a drawer to my left and pulled out my cigar case. I plucked the cigar, uncaring as to the type. I didn't have much knowledge of cigars, I would just buy the expensive ones and carry light it up whenever I was going to be in a private meeting. I thought that it would make me seem more formidable and self-assured. I was confident that no one would quiz me on my cigar knowledge. If they did, I could easily deflect the questions. Confidence was the key.
The phone rang and I picked it up leisurely, "Speak."
"Jeffrey Galagher is here, Sir."
"Send him in," I answered. My timing was immaculate as alway.
A tall young man walked confidently into my office. He took care to look at his surroundings with slight admiration. His suit was tailored (as it should be), and he was handsome.
I stood up to shake the man's hand. His handshake was firm while his hands were soft.
Sheep eyes looked back at me. His fur was snow white and curly. Two small horns were atop his head and polished until I could see my reflection on the tiny nubs. I chortled to myself.
"Nice to finally meet your acquaintance, Sir."
"No, the pleasure is all mine," I told him, holding on to his hand a little longer than what most people would feel comfortable with. The man seemed unbothered. "Take a seat," I gestured to the comfortable lounge chair.
I puffed on the cigar a bit, before offering the young man one. He politely declined.
I sat down across from Jeffrey and eternally smirked. Waiting for him to begin the conversation.
There was a silence.
"..."
The silence dragged on.
"..."
By golly gee. This man was trying to play me at my own game. He just stared lazily back at me with his sheep eyes. It would be unsettling if it were anyone else looking back.
I began to tap my foot. Trying to convey that my patience was running thin.
"I have a proposal for you," He smiled, and placed a clenched hand under his chin, "A business proposal."
"Do tell me more about this... Business proposal," I encouraged. In anyone else there would be anticipation in what this man had to say. He was trying to play me. But I wasn't some drunk bimbo at the local bar. I was better than that.
"We need to focus all of our efforts on."
I nodded.
"Wheels."
I was eternally screaming. I already had a team working on wheels.
"Oh really? And why, would I do that?" I took a couple puffs of my cigar.
"It will be easy to market them."
Is this man a complete idiot? I already knew the answer. Absolutely yes. Why wasn't he actually presenting me a proper proposal with research to back up his argument. Was he a parrot? Because he was sure acting like one.
"Marketing is easy. If you have the money. You'll have to have a better argument to convince me to lend you the money. Money," I let out a breath, "Money."
He stared back at me with his disgustingly relaxed smile.
I sighed.
"You know what? Give the proposal to my secretary, she'll go through it and inform you if we'll loan you the cash. No promises, your argument was garbage."
"Thank you, sir, it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance," He held out his hand and I shook it. Once he left my presence, I was left to reflect on the conversation. But I soon grew bored and decided to go on my phone. Flipping through my social media, I saw a picture.
"Just think about it, if you drink and drive. Your dog won't know what happened to you."
I sighed. The comments were angry, claiming that your children are more important than dogs.
I moved on to the next post. Ronald Chump, a business man such as myself, was running for president of the country. I stared as he barked, and continued to bark. His wool was peeling away and I wondered how anyone believed his propaganda. His muzzle was clearly showing. The long fangs glinted in the artificial lighting of the stage.
I could feel the jelly leaking from my brain as he continued to yap. But I had to chuckle at the sheep that cheered for him. The man was smart enough I suppose.
Moving on, I looked through pictures of souls long left behind. Living painfully domestic lives. Breeding and getting married. I scoffed. People are too stupid to overcome their pre-programming. I wonder what a world would be like if they stepped away from their primitive needs to honestly walk through life like the advanced species that they should be.
Setting down my mobile device, I contemplated my next move.

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