Survivor Girl

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Hero Complex and Avoiding Morals

If you want to die, save the girl.


Guy gets the girl hardly ever happens anymore in horror movies. Chances are, your crush isn’t interested, and you’ll just end up dead or mutilated. I’ll tell you what though, surviving is fun. It’s the best, actually. So, what you should do is shut your mouth and follow the girl. Do what she does. She’s Survivor Girl for a reason, yeah?? Jesus.

Also, if you think you’re going to heaven if you die for love or nobility, just remember one thing for me. Okay, buddy? Okay. You’re probably of more use to the girl alive. Isn’t that a novel concept? You don’t have to try to kill the villain. Leave that to people who know what the fuck they’re doing, huh, buddy-pal? I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say that you’re not qualified to handle this shit.

Bro, you can’t get laid if you’re dead. However, if you do help Survivor Girl, she’s under no obligation to even give you a peck on the cheek. You don’t get a cookie for a decent human being, you fuckboy. But, ya know, you COULD get laid. I’d ask her on a date first, but that’s just me, you know?
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