Survivor Girl

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The Ultimate Care Package

You’d think people would have enough sense to not open strange packages they didn’t order online.


So, you check your all-important peep-hole, and there’s a box outside. You didn’t order anything, and no one told you they were sending you something. This is the only time that it’s safe to open your door. Of course, there’s no return address because no killer is that stupid. Don’t open the package. Don’t take it inside. DON’T GET CURIOUS. I suggest locking it in your car at this point.

It’s the day after you got the weird plotline altering package. Ask around, thoroughly. If everyone is as confused as you are, don’t open it. Toss it. Don’t get curious. Leave that thing in the trash, and never look back. Don’t let curiosity end up killing your cat or you. Satisfaction doesn’t bring you and your cat back, okay?

The villain, supernatural or human, may be angry that you didn’t accept his heart in a box (a very real possibility). So, this package may keep arriving at your door. Whatever is in this package is a message to you. It’s got something to do with that fucked up thing you did last summer or something. THE VILLAIN WILL NOT COMMENCE KILLING YOU UNTIL YOU’VE OPENED THE PACKAGE. Call the police. Give them the package after you’ve explained the situation. Go back inside. If the villain is human, the problem will be resolved, and you’ll have some officers to protect you until then.

If the villain is supernatural and the police can’t help, go to a religious expert of your choosing. Don’t turn your nose up at people who know what’s up and can legitimately help you. If you do, you and your family ends up dead, or almost everyone you know ends up dead until you accept the help. Then you just end up with survivor’s guilt. It’s a bad time.
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