Survivor Girl

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Don't Bring the Hot Person Who Doesn't Deserve You

They aren’t worth your time or grief. They’re dead anyway.


There will always be a hot person that’s not so hot on the inside. They’re not worth your time. Their faux-chivalry is exactly that. They will not save you. They will not love you. They will get even more wasted after you tell them no and then bang your best friend.

If they are hot and all of your friends think they’re a fuckboy, don’t go with them to their parent’s vacation home by the lake. They will die. You might die. Or, you could just get an STD because someone didn’t want to use a condom. Either way, it’s not a fun time.

Don’t be the guy who tries to save the smoking hot girl who never liked him in the first place. Guy gets the girl is about to become a chick flick thing only. Pointless romances are slowly going out of style, remember that.

Chances are, if they want to take you to somewhere secluded to be all couple-ish, they don’t really want to be a couple and aren’t worth your time. That’s more life advice than horror movie advice, but that’s okay.

Don’t go anywhere with the intention to get it on after the scary movie stuff starts happening. You’ll die.
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