"Cleo! Cleo!" taking a deep breath I turned to the voice. Felix jogged to my end.
"Are you going to stop that already! Running around campus with my name in your mouth!" he flinched at my harsh tone.
"It's fine, I'm sorry. Rough morning. What's the problem now? Oh if it's about the kiss- get over it. It was just a dare"
"Sure, I saw you and thought to say hi" I nodded.
"Okay, I'll get going"
"Um your line doesn't seem to go through anymore"
"Yea, I know. I changed it"
"Okay- so, can I get the new one?"
"I don't think Lilly would like that Felix, let's do this some other time" I smiled at him before turning to leave.
"So what is this that I hear? Already kissing your ex?" Blake asked frowning a little.
"At this point I can think of myself as the new Kardashian on campus, I guess news travels like wildfire nowadays"
"You're not answering my question"
"It was just a game, I was dared. And he's not my ex"
"Then what do you classify a guy that hurt you, he disrespected you Cleo. It seems you're forgetting how he humiliated you!"
My hands clenched so hard my knuckles were hurting
"And you think I don't know that! You don't have to remind me of what I went through Blake because I remember perfectly well" he seemed taken aback by my outburst, his expression softened moments after.
"I'm sorry" he closed the gab taking my clenched hands, rubbing it till I felt myself slowly calm down.
"Whatever it is going through your head, don't get lost in it Cleo. I don't want to see you hurt"
If I was being ration this minute, then Blake was right to scold at me. He was the few I was in contact with during those traumatic moments. We practically video called every day, watching me ball my eyes out, rant about how frustrated and depressed I felt. He watched me every single day try put the pieces together. I was like this stray kid, Lost. I nodded at him moving away from the comfort he was giving.
"I'll be fine"
"C'mon don't do this Cleo"
"Do what exactly?"
"You know what, pushing me away again. Let me in on your thoughts, how you feel, what you think"
"Like I said Blake, I'll be fine. There's nothing to let you into. Don't be dramatic" he sighed taking a seat on my bed.
"Fine, you want to watch a movie or something?" I shook my head at him.
"I don't think so; my timetable says library" I said packing up my books.
"You notice we've not even started with lectures?"
"Yes, but we already have the pdf's" he stared at me for what seemed like eternity.
"Okay, I'll get going" I nodded at him as he stood at the door.
"So you're going to escort me or what?"
"Um, maybe some other time" he nodded one last time before turning to leave. I collapsed on the bed relived. God I didn't want to hurt him- but it needed to be done.
We had closed from Literature class when Felix walked up to me alongside Christian.
"Christian, how long has it been? Like two years already?" I asked ignoring Felix.
"Let's make it five, I had to see the beauty myself. You really would win Ghana's most beautiful if you dared to contest."
"Well if that's not flattery, hope everyone is good?"
"Yes, everyone but Felix" I took notice of him for a brief moment before turning back to Christian.
"Nothing Lilly and him can't work out" I said in a dismissive manner.
"Actually it is something you can help with" Felix mouthed.
"Lilly thinks there's something between us, and devastated after what happened the other time- could you maybe try to clarify things to her?" oh so it was about Lilly. The thought of that angered me the more, she still had the audacity to pop up?
"Off course, I mean she's my friend. I'll do it" He returned my smile looking relived.
"Is something wrong with your hands?" Christian asked eyes glued to my clenched hands. I immediately relaxed it pretending to reflex it.
"ugh no, just the effects of taking too much notes. I'll get going"
"Cleo, um I would need your number"
"Sure" I saved it on his mobile before bidding them goodbye.
The social work class had just gotten to a close with a new weight on my shoulders. Group work! Did they honestly think about us? For crying out loud we just started with lectures!
I swiftly sent a message to my group reminding them of our meeting tonight before taking the shuttle.
I met an empty room as Vera was out to meet with her group members. I immediately changed into my gym wear before heading to the sports complex.
"You're five-minutes late" Richard announced running on the treadmill.
"Sorry, a bit frustrated" I jogged to the next available treadmill
"Then pour it all out here"
I ended up working an extra hour.
"God! I have a meeting in 40 minutes! See you tomorrow?" he nodded at me getting back to his other clients.
"Sorry I'm late" I muttered sitting down across the big table located at the center of the discussion room. Blake simply nodded at me eyes glued on this laptop.
"Um, where is everybody?'
"Everybody could not make it."
"I guess it's us then, so did you do a little research?"
"Yep, I found a few linking stories, definitions and some examples"
"Great, so I'll try developing the point and you try to find more examples to support the ones you already have"
In the next 2 hours we sat silently indulged in our work randomly stopping to catch our breaths. The tension between as was not something I was concerned about. In fact, I loved it, it made my work a lot easier and faster. But he was still my friend and whatever my resolution was, I could never hurt him on purpose.
"You want to grab something to eat?" he turned from the computer screen eyeing me.
"I don't think we'll get something this late"
"I have some leftovers, let's go" I stood packing up.
"I didn't say I wanted to" he stubbornly replied showing no sign of following suite.
"Look, I know we have not been in good terms these few days, but I won't allow you to starve especially on my account. Let's just eat it off and deal with whatever latter"
"Fine. Just because you won't give up!"
A small smile made its way to my lips but before he could catch on I met him with my poker face.
Our walk seemed short as we both were lost in our own world.
"I'll just apply some heat to it, won't be long". We came to meet no one in the room and I was sure Kira would have loved it if she came first with her boyfriend. The buzzing of my phone caught my attention as Felix's number came up.
"Cleo Hi" he sounded at the end of the line.
"Sorry for calling a little late, I'm with Lilly, can you talk to her now" the concern lazed in his voice pricked me a little.
"Sure, let me speak to her" There was a moment of silence before I heard a distant voice that seemed to chock on saliva.
"Lilly, are you okay?"
"Y-yes" she responded clearing her throat.
"I, um Felix and I have nothing going on. You shouldn't panic Lilly. Clearly everything is working in your favor. I'm glad I could clarify things up. I have to go"
I stood rigid with furry trying as much as I could to relax my clenched fists but my anger was brewing. It's not happening, calm down Cleo. It's not HAPPENING! I screeched throwing my phone to the wall shattering into pieces!
"Cleo!" Blake rushed to the kitchen standing rooted upon seeing the mess I made but I was too upset to care.
"Cleo are you okay?" My face contorted with a vermous outburst as I slammed my fist down the table but it wasn't enough!
"I HATE HIM! I HATE THEM!" the sign of weakness paraded my face as I tried hard to conceal the tears.
"Gosh I hate him! He deserves to pay for everything! I want him ruined too. HE SHOULD BE DEVASTATED!
I held firmly unto my chest trying hard to hold my heart in one piece afraid it might shred once I let go.
"Cleo stop, please." Blake's soft tone coed. His arms held me down. My breaths came raged almost impossible to breath.
"Why is he still ignoring me? Didn't I change now! They both hurt me! Don't they deserve a taste of their own medicine? I hate him Blake, so much I can't let go"
My world was crushing again, the walls that held me up came collapsing moment by moment. Blake's hand cooped my face, his thumb cleared the tear quickly escaping my eyes.
"You are not okay Cleo; you're still wounded" I buried my face in his chest. Loud heavy sobs came tearing from my throat, both ferocious and noisy. In that moment I understood the depths of pain that had been sitting below my skin.
Bitter. Unforgiving. Pain.
I'm sorry if it sounds so vague, I'll try and edit as soon as I can.
I guess Team Felix conquered this time around