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The Falmouth Saga

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Summary

A series of short and wacky stories, some of which are set in Falmouth, Massachusetts.

Genre:
Humor
Author:
Zachary Halteman
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
4
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
13+

The Dramatic Tale of Falmouth

Matt Willis looked at the minuscule map in his hands and felt barmy.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his beautiful surroundings. He had always loved old-fashioned Falmouth with its rotten, racid rivers. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel barmy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Maureen Humble. Maureen was a considerate volcano with wobbly and skinny feet.

Matt gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a callous, special, brandy drinker with sloppy feet and fluffy feet. His friends saw him as a dripping, decaying doctor. Once, he had even rescued a worried blind person from a burning building.

But not even a callous person who had once rescued a worried blind person from a burning building, was prepared for what Maureen had in store today.

The snow flurried like shouting tortoises, making Matt worried.

As Matt stepped outside and Maureen came closer, he could see the vigorous glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want a phone number," Maureen bellowed, in a thoughtful tone. She slammed her fist against Matt's chest, with the force of 4028 lizards. "I frigging love you, Matt Willis."

Matt looked back, even more worried and still fingering the minuscule map. "Maureen, I ate your puppy," he replied.

They looked at each other with sneezy feelings, like two mashed, massive monkeys eating at a very forgetful holiday, which had piano music playing in the background and two smelly uncles jumping to the beat.

Suddenly, Maureen lunged forward and tried to punch Matt in the face. Quickly, Matt grabbed the minuscule map and brought it down on Maureen's skull.

Maureen's wobbly feet trembled and her skinny feet wobbled. She looked jumpy, her body raw like a bewildered, blue blade.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Maureen Humble was dead.

Matt Willis went back inside and made himself a nice glass of brandy.

THE END
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Further Recommendations

Ruth: Good heart-warming romance story!

lunahh1995: Das Buch ist echt super geworden und wurde fast in einem Rutsch durchgelesen 😅Ich hab schon nen anderes Buch von der Autorin gelesen und mag ihren Schreibstil sehr.Werde auch noch andere Bücher von ihr lesen.Muss sagen rein von der Handlung etc wäre es sogar wert diese zu kaufen

Ann: Great story I read it while in the ER in hospital

Gurleen Benipal: You could have worded some things better. It's a cute story though! The main characters are cute together and definitely suit each other. There are little grammar mistakes so you did a decent job overall! Love how easy the story is to read and it's not boring at all. Definitely recommend reading ...

Sanja: I am still laughing. Great story. Great job writter!

RCDreading: Story was well written and if you want a shorter story with some humor, a pinch of drama, and a bit of spice, this is the story to read. Story kept my attention all the way through and nerve left me bored. Makes me want to check out the rest of her stories. Excellent job. 👍

kitkat28: Great story. Love the dynamics of the characters. Good humour throughout the story too. Who doesn't love a good mafia romance story! Brilliant writing

Melanie: Ich habe dieses Buch geliebt und direkt in einer Nacht durchgelesen, da es so toll geschrieben wurde und ich mich so sehr in die Geschichte rein versetzen konnte, dass an Schlaf überhaupt nicht zu denken war. Auch wie Juna so selbstironisch über sich denkt, finde ich wirklich toll und ich habe Tr...

Tamara: Mir gefällt die Geschichte

More Recommendations

valeMA29: Es una historia de amor muy imnotisante y atrapante que te mantiene con emoción con cada capítulo

Sarah Sinegal: Enjoying it a lot so far. Can’t wait for more

Ann: Very good story. Interesting characters are enjoyable I thoroughly enjoyed the story. Hope to see more good job. Keep it up.

Gurleen Benipal: Great story! It's so cute! You're really good at writing, you had me hooked all the way till the end! The characters and the plot is definitely well designed and well thought of. Love how you don't mention smut too much like many other writers do. You kept showing us real love with a hint of "spi...

Queen Rolo: Really good, hooking.

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