Two Admirable Uncles Hopping to The Beat
He was a rude, energetic, tea drinker with handsome fingers and blonde fingernails. His friends saw him as an annoying, amused animal. Once, he had even rescued a mute baby bird from a burning building. That's the sort of man he was.
Luke walked over to the window and reflected on his sleepy surroundings. The wind blew like smiling lizards.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Tony McCallister. Tony was an intuitive saint with pointy fingers and moist fingernails.
Luke gulped. He was not prepared for Tony.
As Luke stepped outside and Tony came closer, he could see the spotty glint in his eye.
"I am here because I want Internet access," Tony bellowed, in a wild tone. He slammed his fist against Luke's chest, with the force of 1339 cats. "I frigging hate you, Luke Pitt."
Luke looked back, even more sad and still fingering the giant sausage. "Tony, exterminate," he replied.
They looked at each other with happy feelings, like two difficult, delicious donkeys bouncing at a very hungry accident, which had Metal music playing in the background and two admirable uncles hopping to the beat.
Suddenly, Tony lunged forward and tried to punch Luke in the face. Quickly, Luke grabbed the giant sausage and brought it down on Tony's skull.
Tony's pointy fingers trembled and his moist fingernails wobbled. He looked happy, his body raw like a grated, gleaming gun.
Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Tony McCallister was dead.
Luke Pitt went back inside and made himself a nice cup of tea.