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That's My Girlfriend

At the end of that summer Kieran and I got a flat together which was nothing too big but it wasn’t small, it was a nice flat in Kennington South London. It had a nice size living room which was through the small hallway, on the right side of the living room were two doors which were me and Kieran’s double bedroom on the left side was the kitchen which was a bit narrow. Next to the kitchen was the bathroom which was a good size for a bathroom and next to my bedroom was a big closet which had the boiler in there and we used to put our clothes in there to dry. Because we were only eight-teen at the time we had to have my Dad apply for the flat for us through the council so the flat was in his name but we lived there and paid him rent. But it was nice being free from my parents and me and Kieran had so much fun in our little bachelor pad; well it was a bachelor pad for me. Kieran and I went to different colleges, which were close to each other, and sometimes I went over to his college for lunch or he’d come over to mine for lunch, so we still saw each other at lunch time. Yeah I know he’s not my boyfriend, but it was still weird, I mean we’ve been together since primary and secondary school so being apart in college was a new experience for both of us. Plus he had Ella with him, I had to make new friends, and there wasn’t a lot of girls in my class, not many girls studied web designing, but Kieran went to a fashion college so whenever I went over there I made the best of my opportunity.

“This uni needs more girls in here man” I said to Jeremiah as we sat in the Student Bar which was a nice little bar that was in a basement underneath the screen printing department. Everyone used to come and chill in the Student Bar because it was cosy. It had five seating booths which had big dark red leather seats, a small mahogany table and a single chair, a small bar near the door which sold alcohol after six which was usually happy hour so it was always busy after six and the lighting in the Student Bar was dim so it had a really nice vibe in there but the music they played was always terrible. “Why do they have to ruin this place with this shitty music” I whinged to Jeremiah “Imagine how sick it would be in here if they played Ja Rule’s new album” I said excitedly “What’s his new album called? I don’t think I’ve heard it” Jeremiah asked and said “What? You haven’t heard Rule 3.36? That’s moist cuz” I said as I shook my head “I know, I know I need to get it” Jeremiah said before he took a sip of his bottle of coke “Yeah you do trust me it is sick! Oh yeah I forgot to ask you. Why does everyone call you Lewis?” I asked Jeremiah “Because my name is a hassle to pronounce and spell. Plus my surname is Lewis so I just prefer people called me Lewis” Jeremiah exclaimed “Alright I’ll call you Lewis from now on” I said. Just then Kieran, Ella and Ella’s friend came into the Student Bar “What’s good J?” Kieran said happily as he gave me a big hand clap before he pulled up a chair to sit at Lewis and I’s table “You alright J” Ella said as she got two chairs for her and her friend to sit down “Yeah I’m cool” I replied as I gazed at Ella’s friend she was so beautiful, she was mixed raced with brownish black curly hair, big brown sparkling eyes and pretty pink lips “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?” Ella asked me “Oh yeah sorry” I said as I quickly snapped back into reality “Lewis this is my friend Kieran, his girlfriend Ella and...” I said before I stopped and waited for Ella’s friend to introduce herself “Hi I’m Latoya” she said as she reached over to shake Lewis’s hand “Latoya this is the Jemmel, that Kieran always goes on about” Ella said as she introduced Latoya to me. I then turned to look at Kieran and gave him a look that ‘Why haven’t you mentioned this girl before?’ which he understood and just shrugged his shoulders “What you guys doing?” Ella asked me and Kieran “I’m just chilling babes” Kieran replied while I just looked away which made Lewis laugh before saying “I’ve got to go now J. I’ve got a business meeting that I need to attend” as he stood up and put on his jacket “Alright then cuz. Holla at me about the business and marketing class” I said as I stood up and gave Lewis a hand clap and a hug “Yeah defo” Lewis replied as he put his bag strap over his head and on to his shoulder “Nice meeting you guys” Lewis then said with a smile before he left the Student Bar. As soon as Lewis left I saw Ella and Latoya talking to each other quietly about something, I was just about to intervene until Kieran asked me “What business class are you attending?” “Just something that Lewis wants me to attend with him. That guy is proper business minded and he’s telling me that I should look into starting my own Web design business instead of working for someone else when I finish college” I exclaimed “What about uni? Don’t you want to go university?” Kieran then asked “I don’t know you know Kier. I never really thought about going university” “Well I think you should go uni” Latoya said to me “Why?” I replied as I turned my body towards her so I could listen to her reasons “I just think it’s a smart move. The prospects of you getting a job...” Latoya started to explain but my mind started to drift as I started to watch her pretty lips move “Are you even listening to me?” Latoya asked as she looked quite annoyed “How old are you?” I asked as I digressed “eight-teen why?” “What area are you from?” “I’m from Battersea” Latoya replied “What do you study?” I asked as I smiled sweetly at Latoya “I study cosmetics and beauty styling and I know what you’re trying to do by the way” Latoya said as she sat back on her chair “What am I doing?” I asked with a cocky smile as I waited for Latoya to answer “You’re trying to be all smooth and talk all sweet to me so I can fall for that cute smile and seductive eyes but it’s not working Jemmel” Latoya replied and in my head all I was thinking was ‘Shit! This is Jade all over again’ “You’re Ella’s friend and I’m just trying to get to know you” I exclaimed as I tried to not let her see that she figured me out “Well you’re going to have to try harder than that plus I’ve got a boyfriend so I’m not available. Sorry” Latoya said which basically killed every thought I had in my head about her, she was more than just a pretty face she was smart and wasn’t an easy girl to crack which was ashamed because I found that more attractive. As I pondered on what to say I could see Kieran from the corner of my eye giggling quietly with Ella, I was stumped I just didn’t know what to say but lucky for me I didn’t have to say anything because Latoya did “Ell’s I’ve got to go now I have tons of writing to do on this assessment and I have to go meet Nathan later” Latoya said as she stood up, got her bag, straightened herself out and quickly put her hair up in a bun “Ok babes I’ll see you tomorrow” Ella replied as she stood up and gave Latoya a kiss on the cheek “Bye Kieran, See you later Jemmel” Latoya then said before she left the Student Bar. “Wow you flopped differently” Kieran said loudly before he started to laugh “Shut up man. I wasn’t even trying to talk to her like that” I said as I leant back into my chair “Why you lying for? Just because she moisted you” Kieran said as he tried to anger me “Did I get moisted though?” I put my hands out and asked “Nah he didn’t” Ella said to Kieran “Thank you Ella” I said emphatically “He got showered!!” Ella then said before her and Kieran started laughing at me “You two are dumb man. I know she likes me anyway so I’m not even going to get mad” I said as I crossed my arms feeling embarrassed “Why are we still chilling here anyway lets go home” I said as I picked up my jacket and bag “Alright, alright calm down J. I’m not the one who moisted you know” Kieran said jokily as he continued to tease me as we walked out of the Student Bar.

After Latoya moisted me that day I just knew I had to get her but we just started to develop a weird back and forth thing between us. The thing about Latoya and I relationship is that every time I would see her when I went over to Kieran and Ella’s college she would always show me love when we were in front of people like when me, her, Kieran and Ella all used to sit in the lunch area and all talk she’ll flirt with me a little like she was showing every one that I was hers but as soon as we were in private or in a place where no one could see us she would moist me, like tell me that I’m too cocky and talk about her man in front of me like she didn’t know that I liked her. So eventually I stopped pursuing her and just kept her as a friend plus Kieran’s college was full of girls and I had to get to know them. “So I’ll call you tonight, yeah” I said to Leyla who was this pretty Turkish girl that I just met in Kieran’s college cafeteria “Make sure you do” she said with a smile before she walked away while she swayed her hips from side to side. She knew what she was doing because as I watched her walk away I could see her slightly turn her head to see if I was still watching and I obviously was because she had a big bottom. “I knew I’ll catch you down here” Kieran said as he walked up behind me. “Cuzie can you blame me? You got so many girls here, how could I not be down here with them?” I replied. “How you get into the college anyway? Didn’t they ask you for your ID?” “Yeah but Jeanine let me in”“Who’s Jeanine?” Kieran asked as he tried to think if he knew her. “Don’t worry she’s just a lighty from the second year” I replied with a cheeky smile. “You’re too much you know” Kieran laughed and said as he shook his head a little. “I know, I know” I said as I laughed. “What’s good though?” “Nothing much, I’m just bored man, I should of done fashion like you, at least I’ll have something to look at” I replied as I looked at the girls that walked past us. “Just stick it out fam, and you better go to that interview this week” Kieran said as he pointed at me with authority. “Ok Dad, I’ll will” I said before we both started to laugh. “You alright Jay Jay?” Ella said as she walked up to me and gave me a hug, “Yeah, I’m alright” I replied as I hugged her back. “So what do we owe this pleasure of seeing you today Mr Dirt McDirt” Ella said as she twisted her neck at me. “Why are you calling me Dirt McDirt? What did I do to deserve that?” I replied and just as I said that a really cute girl walked by us, she couldn’t be no taller than 5’5 and she was really petite and as I watched her walk by I saw what she was carrying behind her. “Geeze! That girl got some big batty, I got to get that” I said loudly which made Kieran laugh and the girl turn around. “What you saying babes?” I said before I blew her a little kiss which made her smile but she didn’t stop she just turned around and kept on walking. “I think she likes you J” Kieran said as he stood next to me; as me and him watched her walk away. “I know next time I see her that’s mine, you know that though?” I said as I gave Kieran a low five, “I know cuz” Kieran said excitedly because he knew if I did get that girl and I had sex with her I would tell him all about it. “Excuse me Kieran first thing why are you looking at that girl’s bottom? And secondly don’t encourage Jemmel” Ella said to Kieran as she stepped in between us. “Ha! You’re in trouble” I said to Kieran as I put my hand over my mouth and laughed at him. “Actually you’re still in trouble” Ella turned and said to me. “For what?” “Because you need to stop playing around with girls and get serious, and yes I know Zara’s not here and you’re trying to hide your pain by going out with different girls but it’s time to at least try to have a serious relationship”. “Aren’t I too young to have a serious relationship? And no one’s even thinking about Zara” I asked and said as I started to wonder how Zara was because I hadn’t seen her in years “Jemmel I don’t think you’ve even gone out with the same girl more than a month” Ella then said “Wow your getting a bit deep aren’t you?” I interrupted. “Well somebody has too, by the way have you got a potential girlfriend? Or are you still running around with hoes Mr McDirt?” Ella said as she put her hands on her waist just waiting for my reply. “No I haven’t got any potentials yet” I said as I shrugged my shoulders, “Well if you’re interested I got a girl I want you to meet” Ella replied “Is she nice? What’s her booty saying?” I said with a cheeky smile as I tried to wine Ella up. “Is that all you think about?” Ella said with a smile and her hands on her waist but I knew she knew I was winding her up so I just laughed. “I’ll tell her to meet you at your college today, yeah; she’s about 5’ 6 brown skin, long curly coolie hair, she’s really pretty, beautiful hazel brown eyes with long eye lashes and she looks like Amerie” “Amerie? That’s a big comparison you know?”. “Yes I know but I think she does and she’s mixed race Black and Vietnamese; oh yeah and today she’s wearing a light blue top with gold patterns on it” Ella said happily. “Ok, anything else I need to know” “Yeah. She’s a nice girl so please, please! Don’t mess it up I’m actually going to put my trust in you” Ella replied with a serious face. You see Ella has known me for a long time, so she knew how I was, so when she wanted me to meet her friend it was like she was saying to me ‘Time to get serious about someone’ so I agreed to meet her friend. “Ok I’ll meet your friend” I said, “And I have to say this again I am not in pain about Zara that was so three years ago” I then said in a feminine voice jokily “Yeah, yeah whatever Jemmel” Ella replied and laughed.

That day after college I waited for Ella’s friend to meet me, I was waiting by my bike with my boy Lewis so she could see me. “Oi Lewis I think that’s her” I said to Lewis as I stood up. “Alright Jemmel I’ll talk to you later” Lewis said before he left, I then started to analyse this girl coming towards me in a blue top and she was so ugly! Shit I knew Ella would set me up with some bird face. “Excuse me are you Jemmel” the girl said and I didn’t want to say no because if I said no and Ella found out that I stood her friend up she’ll be pissed and every time I go home she’ll be there just cussing me. “Yeah I’m Jemmel” I said unenthusiastically, “Oh ok I’m Adele and my friend told me...” Adele stopped and said. “Yeah...What did your friend tell you?” I said as I was thinking how I could kill Ella without Kieran finding out. Adele then leant forward and whispered “My friend said that you sell weed, could I buy some from you?” “Wooo!” I said with a huge sigh of relief that she wasn’t Ella’s friend. “Yeah I got that, what you need?” I continued to say “Can I have a ten bag?” Adele said as she quickly took out a £10 note just then at the corner of my eye I saw a girl in a light blue top approaching me and she looked just like how Ella described her so I quickly pushed Adele aside which she wasn’t too happy about and walked towards Ella’s friend. “Hi are you Jemmel?” she said so sweetly, I could tell that she wasn’t shy and had a lot of confidence. “Yeah that’s me and your name is?” I replied as I put my hand out to shakes hers and I know that doesn’t seem like me but Laila was stunning I had to put my game on level ten.“Oh sorry, I’m Ella’s friend Laila” she said as she shook my hand then there was a brief silence, “I don’t usually do this, so I don’t know what to say” I said. “It’s ok” Laila replied “Do you want to go for a ride on my bike?” I asked “Yeah” Laila replied excitedly with a smile. I got on my bike and she got on the back and held me around my waist and we just went out. We eventually did find somewhere to go which was a nice Mexican restaurant near Marble Arch we went in, got a table and started to get to know each other and I could really tell that she was a nice girl, the type of girl that you could hang with and not do nothing with as long as you two were together. I really liked her and I really wanted to try to be good with her because I weren’t and haven’t been an angel in my last relationships so I wanted to actually try to be the good boyfriend with Laila. I really liked her and I could tell she really liked me too because she kept batting her eyes and when she laughed at my jokes she would always put her hand on my leg, so yeah we had a really good date and I was glad Ella hooked us up.

That week was crazy I was so burnt out I spent most of my week with Laila in the evenings just chilling in my room at my house then after she would leave I would study till one in the morning then back to college the next day and do the same think again. So when the weekend came around and I had work the whole weekend by Sunday I was shattered! “That’s the last pair we have you know” I said to the customer who was buying a pair of trainers for her little boy “But I can see the scratch you’re talking about” I said as I inspected the shoe, there really wasn’t anything wrong with the shoe but she was a cool women and her son was such a little joker so I said “How about ten percent off?” “How about twenty?” the woman replied “I don’t know Aunty. How does fifth-teen sound?” I said and with that she smiled and said “Tristen you like these trainers?” “Yeah mummy” the little boy said happy as he tried to climb on to the seat so he could try them on again “I’ll take them” “Cool. When you’re ready come over to the counter and I’ll put them through for you” I said before I picked up the trainers and put them behind the counter. “Victor, take off fifth-teen percent for that lady please fam” I asked my supervisor as he slouched over the till counter “What for J?” Victor sighed and moaned “These are the last pair of Nike Air Max for kids and it’s got a big, faint, long, indented, scratch on the left trainer” I explained to Victor as I showed him the trainer but I kept turning it from left to right really quickly so he couldn’t notice anything “Whatever man I know you’re lying but if it’s the last pair we might as well get rid of it now then later” Victor said unenthusiastically as he took the trainers from me and cashed them up for the lady as she came over to the till “Thank you” the woman whispered quietly to me as we passed each other. “So you can’t text anybody anymore?” Jessica said with attitude as she came over to me and pretended to fold the t-shirts on the table “I haven’t got no credits” I replied as I re-folded the t-shirts that were messy “Why you lying for? I saw you on the phone on lunch and don’t say that they called you because your phone never rang” Jessica complained “My phone is on vibrate” I exclaimed “You really going to carrying on lying to me? All I expected from you Jemmel was you to at least text me back last night is that too much to ask from you” Jessica continued to say as she followed me over to the women shoes section “Allow me man Jessica. You started talking all that nasty talk and I just didn’t want to get into it with you because I’m not interested” I said as politely as I could “Oh, ok so why did you ask for my number?” Jessica said upsettingly “Because I wanted to see if you could swap shifts with me next weekend” I replied “Oh ok. Excuse me for a minute” Jessica then said as she rushed off to the backroom “Hey cuz, what’s wrong with Jess?” Joshua said to me as he gave me a hand clap “I told her I wasn’t interested in her” “What?! Are you mad?! Jessica mad pretty. I would be on that fam! Giving her the good ting” Joshua said excitedly as he wined his waist “Allow me Josh” I said as I started to laugh “Seriously though J. Why aren’t you on that?” Joshua asked I was just about to tell him about Laila but then I saw Latoya walk into the store “One minute Josh” I said to Josh as I walked over to Latoya. “Afternoon can I help you with anything?” I asked Latoya as I stood to the side of her but Latoya never even looked at me she just said “No thank you” and continued to look at the trainers “You could at least look at people when they speak to you” I sternly said so I could get a reaction from Latoya which I did “Who are you t....Oh you alright J” Latoya turned and said happily “I didn’t know you worked in Footlocker” she continued to say “Yeah I’ve been here for nearly a month now” I replied “That’s good know. I know where to go if I need some discount on my trainers” Latoya said jokily “Like you wear trainers” I said and laughed “Yeah when I go to the gym I need some trainers to wear” “But you don’t have to go to the gym your fine the way you are” I said which made Latoya blush which was new to me because she never used to like it when I complimented her before but I guess because I was just talking to her as a friend and not moving to her it was different “So how are things with you?” I asked “Things are going ok you know. I’m doing more modelling then styling and make-up which is really different I’m so used to putting make-up on people not the other way round but it’s been fun so far so I can’t complain too much. How about you? How’s things?” “I’ve been alright you know. Just working some weekends here now so I can get some extra money; I might have an interview for a web designing company to do some part time work there which would be cool and besides that I’ve just been alright” I replied “Wow. You’re keeping yourself busy which is good” Latoya said with a smile all of a sudden there was an awkward silence “So Ella told me that she introduced you to Laila. Are you two getting along?” Latoya asked which I thought was weird why would she want to know about me and Laila. “Yeah we’re cool. Laila is a nice girl” I said which made Latoya nod her head in agreement but I could tell that she was thinking something else. I was just about to say something when all of a sudden I heard someone rudely shout “Latoya come man” when I turned around to see who was calling Latoya like that, I saw a guy standing in the doorway of the store and he looked angry and fed up “Is that your guy?” I turned back around and asked Latoya “Yeah that’s Nathan” Latoya sighed before she said “I’ve got to go now J but it was talking to you” “Yeah I will see you later” I said to Latoya as she walked toward her boyfriend. As I watched her walk up to him I saw that they started to argue I thought that I should say something to him but then I thought that it wasn’t any of my business and I should just stay out of it. “Who was that fam!!” Joshua said excitedly as he came up to me to ask about Latoya “Just a friend” I replied in a monotone voice before I walked away to go serve some customers whilst leaving Joshua to stare at Latoya’s behind.

After a couple of weeks of meeting up with Laila we started to get really close with each other and she started to come over to my college every other day. Whenever we had a spare moment we was always with each other, this whole thing was so new to me and it was the closest I’ve ever been to a girl besides Zara so I think at the time Laila and I rushed into a relationship. We eventually became boyfriend and girlfriend and were really good together, I mean she treated me right and I treated her right and I never thought about another girl or spoke to another girl unless she was a friend. I was actually in a real relationship and for about four months too. We had so many good times together, she used to come over the house and we would just talk for hours about anything and everything I really felt like Laila and I had a really great connection and we barely had any problems, but there was one big problem we had which was Laila’s Dad. Laila was brought up in a strict household, everything her Dad said she had to do. He wanted her to learn to play a instrument so Laila had to learn how to play the piano; He wanted Laila to speak more than one language so when she was seven she had a tutor every Thursday and Friday after school teaching her to be fluent in Spanish; he also wanted Laila to attend private primary and secondary school so she went to an all private girls primary and secondary school and when it came to college’s he wanted her to go to a college outside of London but Laila convinced him that her college was better than the one he wanted her to go too and had to fight hard just to go to the college she wanted too. So he was our main problem because he just wants complete control over her life and that included who she dated. But I really liked Laila so I was willing to put up with her controlling Dad plus at the time we weren’t that serious so I didn’t have to meet him I just had to hear stupid excuses as to why Laila couldn’t go out or stay over with me which was so annoying.

“So why can’t you come over again?” I asked Laila as I laid on my bed with the phone to my ear “Because I’m at the office with my dad going through paperwork for him” Laila whispered which made me kiss my teeth and say “Doesn’t your dad pay someone to do that for him” “Yes he does baby but they’re not in today so I have to do it” “You don’t have to do it. You choose too” I complained “No I have too. I need to learn this kind of stuff so I can one day take over my dad’s business” Laila replied harshly “Well I guess doing that is more important than seeing your man” I continued to gripe as I sat up on my bed feeling frustrated “Why are you being like this?” “You know what. I’m disturbing you from your paperwork. I’ll chat to you later” I replied as a sighed deeply “Ah whatever Jemmel” Laila said frustratingly before she hung up on me “She gets on my nerves man” I said to myself before I kissed me teeth, threw my phone on the bed and left my room to go into the living room to see what everyone else was doing. “Sweetbwoy!” Beezy shouted at me as I came out of my room “What’s good Beeze? I grumpily said as I passed him and Kieran as they sat on the couch playing Pro Evolution to go into the bathroom “I’m good cuzie. I’m showing Marley how I get busy on Pro” Beezy replied happily because he was beating Kieran three goals to two on the game “You’re only one goal ahead fam so calm down...anything could happen” Kieran said as he tried to talk and concentrate on the game at the same time “Shut up man! The game is...done!” Beezy said then shouted joyfully because he just scored in the last minute to make his score double “What you know bout that?!” Beezy shouted at Kieran who looked pissed that he lost “Rematch cuz” Kieran said begrudgingly “Nah man I already whacked you up two times I need a new opponent” Beezy said to Kieran before pointing the control pad at me and saying “Your next” in a deep haunting voice “I’m not even in the mood to play you B. Plus I can’t fully grip the control pad cause my hand” I said as I rubbed my hand and walked over to sit on the arm rest of the couch “Oh yeah I forgot you got your hand tatted” Beezy said as he looked at my new tattoo on my hand “Yeah got this one for Ms Lee” I said as I looked at my tattoo on the side of my right hand that said her name in calligraphy “It looks good cuz but I can’t lie you went a bit nuts this summer with all them tattoo’s” Beezy said and laughed “He thinks he’s some rock star” he continued to laugh and say as he gave Kieran a hand clap “You’re a prick” I said and laughed at Beezy “B’s right thought cuz. You got excited with them tattoo’s. How much tats you got now J?” Kieran asked “I’ve only got five Kier. You and Beezy are hyping like I went out and got twenty” I replied “Yeah but you went from none to five cuz. That’s a lot you know” Beezy said seriously as he restarted the Playstation to which I just shrugged my shoulders. “Aren’t you supposed to be going out with Laila tonight?” Kieran asked me as he picked up the control pad to play Beezy at Pro again “Yeah but she flopped me. Again” I replied as I rested back on the chair “Laila’s that posh girl that you’re going out with now init” Beezy turned and said to me, which I replied with a head nod “I don’t why you want to mess with them posh girls for fam, especially them mix up ones with Black and Indian in them. They’re all headache J” Beezy said as he started to play the game with Kieran “First thing cuz she’s Black and Vietnamese” I said to Beezy to which he just shrugged his shoulders as if it didn’t matter “And second thing is that I rather go out with a ‘posh’ girl then some hood chick” I continued to say “Fam hood chicks are better than posh girls cause all they want to do is just chill with man, they don’t want to go out too much and they focus on their man” Beezy paused the game and explained “What are you talking about B?” I said emphatically as I stood up “Beeze; hood chicks are always going out to raves or at their friends house, they’ve always got bare man as their friend and they don’t focus on their man they’re too busy arguing with their man over stupid things. Girls like my girl are attentive, caring, they know right from wrong, they ride and die for you and they’re focused on their career” I exclaimed “Fam if posh girls ride and die for you why isn’t your girl with you tonight?” Beezy said and asked which left me speechless for a second. As I try to gather something to say my phone began to ring “I need to go and get that” I said as I started walking towards my bedroom to answer my phone “Hey J” Beezy called out “Forget what I just said fam I’m buzzing” he continued to say “It’s cool cuz” I said before I went into my bedroom and closed the door. When I picked up my phone I saw a miss call from Laila but before I called her back I had to think to myself was what Beezy saying true? Because even thought Laila and I had been together for a while was she the type of girl that would ride or die for me? After thinking for a while I decided to call Laila back to talk to her “Hey Baby” Laila said sweetly as she answered the phone “You alright babes?” I asked as I lay back onto my bed “Yeah. I’m sorry I hung up the phone on you” “It’s cool babes, I was being grumpy anyway. What you doing now?” “I was just thinking about you” “Is it?” I said happily “Yeah. My Dad has popped out for something and when he comes back I’m going to tell him that I need to go so I can come over to you house and spend the night with you” Laila explained “For real?” I said excitedly as I sat up on my bed “Yeah babes” “But won’t your Dad get mad at you?” I asked “I don’t care if he does. I want to see my man tonight” Laila seductively said to me which out the biggest smile on my face “What time you going to come over?” “About ten-ish” “Ok baby I’ll see you soon then” “See you later baby” Laila said before she hung up. See I knew she was a ride or die chick she’s willing to argue with her Dad just so she could come over to see me. Beezy was wrong about posh girls.

The next two weeks after that day were really good. I had an interview with really good start up web design Company and got the job as a Junior Web Designer so I was really happy about that I quit my job at Footlocker even thought I was only there for a month and a half, and I started to see Laila much more. “You are alright Jemmel?” Laila said as she gave me a hug and kiss. “Yeah I’m cool, you?” I replied “I’m alright; it’s just that I have to go out with my parents tonight to the ballet, so I can’t meet you tonight. I’m sorry” Laila said as nicely as she could but she knew it would piss me off, which it did, I then looked up as I got annoyed and said “You knew that we were going out tonight; can’t you tell them you’re doing something else?”. “I can’t baby, or they’ll start to think where I’m spending all my time. Remember my parents don’t know that I have a boyfriend” Latoya replied. “So why don’t you just tell them?” I sighed as I hugged Laila around her waist “Because my Dad is very strict about whom I can date” Laila replied as she wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a little kiss. “Laila you’re eight-teen! You’re old enough to make your own decisions” I said as I let go off Laila “Babes please don’t start this again. You know it is, if I could change it I would but I can’t. Can’t we just move pass this and see each other another night?” Laila said and asked “Alright cool” I said unenthusiastically before I gave Laila a little kiss. “I’ll call you tonight baby boy” Laila said with a smile as she walked away and as I watched her walk away I heard somebody say “I thought she would never leave” and as I turned around to see who is was; there she was looking as beautiful as always “Zara!” I said. “You alright baby boy” Zara said happily with a gleaming smile, I was so shocked to see her but I couldn’t show her that, I had to keep it cool so I was like “Where you been?” “I’ve been about Jay Jay, what did you miss me or something?” Zara replied while biting her lip slightly with a smile, and when I saw her do that I just melted. “Of course I did” “Then give me a hug then Jay” Zara said as she put her arms out for a hug. As I hugged her I felt all those feelings I had for her come back and in some weird way it felt like she felt the same. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. How have you been Jay?” Zara said. “I’ve been alright, I had a hard summer this year but everything seems to be sorting itself out, I’m studying my web designing it is mad hard, I’ve got a place in South so no more living with mum and dad, and got a new job doing HTML work for a web design company. Anyway how have you been? What you doing here anyway?”. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? Hello! I do photography here” Zara replied as she held up her camera and waved it around. “And Interior Design which is mad hard as well but yeah I’ve been alright just been working I’ve got a little part time job now, I’ve moved back to South London from East London that place is a dump and I’m studying here” “Seen, I didn’t know. You should of told me, we could have linked up” I said. “I would of but I don’t have your new number” she replied. “Put my number in your phone” I said, as she took out her phone she brushed her hair back with her hand and gave me a slight glance, she looked so amazing and I don’t usually say does type of things as you can tell by now, I speak a lot of slang so when I say she looked amazing, I mean amazing. “I’ll definitely call you” Zara said to me while we held hands “Make sure you do” I replied as I held her hand it was like we didn’t want to let go off each other. “Well...I wish I could stay here forever but I have to go to my lesson now Jay” Zara said as she slowly let go off my hand, “Yeah of course...of course I’ve got to go now as well, but call me please” I said softly. “I will baby boy” Zara replied sweetly as she began to walk to her lesson.

The next two weeks after that day was really stressful for me because I had a lot of assignments to do, Laila and I were arguing all the time and Zara was back in the picture so I tried to spend as much time with her as possible. At first I thought it was going to cause more arguments between Laila and I but Laila didn’t seem mind me hanging out with Zara probably because her and Zara became friends with each other and when I say friends I don’t mean that they would go out with each other or were with each other when I wasn’t around, they just used to speak and joke with each other whenever we were all out together. But there was a few times that I thought Laila suspected that me and Zara were more than just friends and the reason why I thought she suspected something is because sometimes when we were all out together she would start to act really clingy; there was one night in particular she was acting really clingy was when Zara invited us to a photography showcase that her and her friends organised at a really glitzy showroom in Old Street central London. “Now remember J when your speaking pronunciation is very important” Laila said to me as we stood outside the showroom “Don’t do that please” I said calmly, “Do what?” “Don’t start acting all prissy and behaving like I don’t know how to act” I said as I straightened my tie. “I’m not acting prissy I just want you to a few of my friends will be attending tonight...” Laila said as she pulled down her skirt. “Oh so you’re embarrassed of me but I bet you’re not embarrassed when you’re showing off the Gucci watch that I brought you” I said angrily as I interrupted her. “Why are you talking to me like that? I was just....”Laila said before she was interrupted by a guy who opened the door on her toe, “Owww!” Laila said as she hopped up and down on one foot. “How do you feel?” I said before I open the door and went into the show-room; Laila then got over the pain and quickly walked in and hooked her arm underneath mine which made me shake my head because it was like she was trying to make a grand entrance for us. “Oh hi guys” Zara said happily as she strutted over to us “Thanks for coming” Zara said as she gave Laila hug and kiss on the cheek. “Oh thank you so much for coming JJ” Zara then said as she kissed me on my cheek and gave me a big hug, our hug felt like it lasted forever and I think Laila kind of felt that to. “Oh Zara I love your dress” Laila said “Ah Thanks Laila I really like your dress, where did you get that belt from?” Zara replied as she stopped hugging me. “I think I got it from Dior I can’t remember, this is the first time I’ve worn it” Laila said and giggled. “I wish I was able to do that just put on a designer belt whenever I wanted, well thank you both once again for coming I’ve got to leave you guys now and go and attend to some important clients and if you guys get hungry the snacks are over there on the right” Zara said to us as she pointed out where the food was; Laila then laughed a little and said “Don’t you mean hors d’oeuvres?” Zara then looked at me with a bemused look as if to say ‘Is she serious?’ then she looked back at Laila and said “Ok” with a faint smile, shrugged her shoulders and then walked away. “What’s wrong with her?” Laila said very snobbishly but I didn’t answer.

After that incident the rest of the night was cool me and Laila were getting on well, we were just laughing and joking with each other and her friends and just having a good time. “I’m going to go to the bathroom ok babes” Laila said before she gave me a kiss and went to the toilet with two of her friends. “Girls and the toilet; it’s like they always have to go to the toilet together” Laila’s friend Alex said to me “I know guys never do that” I replied; and just as I said that Zara came over. “Hey Jay have you seen most of the artwork here tonight?” “I can’t even lie to you Zara I haven’t looked at none of them really” I replied. “Well you came all this way you might as well at least look at my work” Zara said as she pulled on my arm. “Ok, ok calm down don’t pull the shirt it’s expensive you know” I said as I followed her to her section of the showroom. Zara then took me around and showed me all of her work. “So what do you think of my work?” Zara said to me, as me and her stood in front of a picture she’d taken and got printed really big. “It’s really good Zee” “Do you really think so?” “Yeah definitely I love all of your work but this one is my favourite I like how everyone is busy walking around pass this homeless child and it feels like you’re the only one that notices him and he notices you to because he’s looking straight at you. Its deep, really deep” I said as I marvelled at the photo. “Thank you baby boy” Zara said with a smile as she bite her lip slightly “I saw you do that” I said as I turned my head towards Zara “Do what?” “I saw you bite your lip” “Yeah and?” “Well it usually means that you’re feeling a certain way so tell me what you’re feeling” I said. “I’m not feeling anyway” Zara replied as she looked up at me and I could see her eyes gleam, I then smiled at her and said “Come on Zee”. “Well...It’s just that when you described my picture it’s like...I mean...It’s like you were describing us” “I’m not homeless” I laughed and said, Zara then laughed a little and said “You know what I mean” “Yeah I do; it’s like even though there’s so many people around us even now all I see is you” “And all I see is you” Zara replied softly with a faint smile. We then started to stare into each other’s eyes for a few seconds until we were interrupted by Laila who came over to us drunk which was baffling to me because when I last saw her she was fine. “What you guys doing over here?” Laila said in a drunken slur as she stepped in between me and Zara and put her arms around Zara and I. “What’s wrong with you man? Why are you drinking?” I said angrily to Laila. “Umm because it’s a party and it’s kind of boring” Laila replied with a stern face as she tried to stand straight. Zara than began to laugh a little and then snobbishly said “I don’t think this is what you would call a party it’s more of a Social Gathering, just thought I would correct you on that” then she casually walked away.

“Whatever” Laila muttered under her breath, “Come on let’s go” I said as I held Laila’s hand to leave. “No I don’t want to go” Laila said as she pulled her hand away. “Why are you behaving like this for?” I whispered angrily “Why are you always with Zara?” Laila whispered back harshly. “What are you talking about? She was just showing me her art work” “I know, I know but I see how you two are together, I see how you look at each other” I then took a deep breath in and as I did I could see Zara in the background looking on at us. I then thought to myself that I do love Zara but the type of guy I was I didn’t ever want to hurt her so I have to keep my feelings inside, I then looked back at Laila and said “There’s nothing between me and Zara I don’t like her like that she’s just a really good friend” “Are you sure?” Laila looked up at me straight into my eyes. “I’m sure” I said she then leaped up onto me and gave me a kiss and a big hug and as my head was on Laila’s shoulder I slightly looked up to see if Zara was there. As I looked I just saw Zara turn around quickly and hurry off somewhere, then my heart sank as I heard Laila say “I love you JJ” “Umm Mm” I muttered before I quickly said “Let me take you home we’ve got college tomorrow” “Ok babes” Laila said as we began to leave.

The next two months after that was the same whenever it was me, Zara, and Laila in the same place Laila would be cool at first but whenever Zara and I got a bit close she would throw a hissy fit and then I had to convince her that I didn’t like Zara other than a friend. She kept saying ‘I love you’ which was really hard to avoid saying; but when me and Zara did have a chance to meet up alone or with some of my friends or hers we got really close again, actually we got closer than ever. She told me about what happened to her while she was away, she moved to another school in East London when she lived with her aunty and was happy there until her mum started to come around for money from her Aunty which caused another big fight. Zara believed that her Aunty was feeding her Mum’s addiction so she moved out into a hostel and lived there until the end of school. As soon as she finished school she came back to South London and lived with her dad for a while before she moved into a flat with her cousin and her friend. When she told me everything I felt so bad because I wished I would have been there to help her but she got through everything and she’s stronger now because of what she went through, I then told her about what happened to me and Kieran while she was away, I told her about school, Tanya, that Spanish chick, what happened to Kieran’s mum, I even told her about what me and Kieran did for extra money sometimes which she wasn’t happy about. I mean she didn’t say anything but I could tell by her facial expression that she weren’t happy but hey what can I do? At least we weren’t selling as much as we were before. I even remember when we used to go out and do nothing but just talk and laugh for hours, but then sometimes our conversations would get deep and we would talk about Laila. I remember one time me, Zara, Kieran and Ella went out and we ended up walking along the bridge near the London Eye “So are you guys ‘officially’ serious then?” Zara said while quoting the word officially with her hands as we walked along the London Eye pathway. “We’re there in it, I wouldn’t say serious but it is what it is” I replied “What you mean by that? You’ve been with her for nearly five, six months now. It’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had so you must like her a lot” Zara replied, as we stopped and sat on a bench facing the River Thames. I looked at her and said “Of course I like her I really like her; I wouldn’t be with her if I didn’t like her” “Ok now we’re getting somewhere. So now my question to you is do you love her?” I then looked at Zara and said “I don’t know about love Zee, I mean I like her a lot but I don’t know about love. She could be the right person for me, but I still have fee...” I stopped suddenly. “Still have what?” Zara said as she took a deep breath in, I looked at her and thought I should tell her how I feel but just as I was about to tell her Kieran came over “Hey you guys me and Ella going in Namco’s to play in the arcade you two on it?” Kieran said excitedly. “Yeah fam lets go” I said as I quickly got up so I could avoid the rest of the conversation and I could see Zara just looking at me like ‘where are you going?’ from the corner of my eye but I just carried on walking towards Namco’s. That night we still had fun but it was like I was having too much fun with the girl I really love, that’s not my girlfriend, I kept thinking I was dogging Laila but I wasn’t doing anything so even though I was happy I felt guilty.

So the next few weeks after that night I started to spend more time with Laila but it was crazy because when she had to go do work for her dad and I was jamming with Zara getting closer and closer, we nearly got a bit too close at her nineteenth birthday party at her house that she was living in with her cousin and friend. We were all in the living room just jamming “J this party is live, but where’s Zara, I’ve only seen her twice tonight” Kieran said. “I don’t know she’s probably about, she has to entertain bare people cuz” I replied. “True stories. I’m going to get another drink fam, you want one?” “Nah I’m easy” I replied. “You alright babes? Sorry I’m late, I had to finish off some paperwork for my dad” Laila said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek “It’s cool babes, have you said happy birthday to Zara yet?” I replied. “Nah I haven’t seen her” Laila said while she looked around to see if she was near “Go find her and show her that you’re here” “Are you sure she even wants me here because I know I’ve been acting a bit mad lately” “Nah she’s cool with you” “Are you sure?” “I’m positive so go find her and say happy birthday” “Ok babes” and with that she pulled on the spliff I had in my hand and went to look for Zara. After Laila found Zara she brought her downstairs and that’s when the party really started we were all dancing, except for the cool guys like me, we skank we don’t dance, we were all drinking, smoking and having a good time, me and Zara were out of it. “Come here Jemmel” Zara said as she dragged me into the kitchen and closed the door “Thank you sooo much for coming to my party, it really means a lot to me that you’re here” Zara said as she leaned backwards on the kitchen cabinets. “You’re a bit tipsy init?” I said as I tried to keep a straight face because I was so high, Zara then began to giggle and said “No I’m alright” just then her hand slipped a little off the cabinet and she nearly lost balance. “Is it really?” “Ok maybe I’m a little bit tipsy” Zara said before she dropped a kitchen pot which was on the drainer. “Ok, ok I am gone” Zara said and laughed which made me laugh “I’m so glad you’re here” Zara shook her head and smiled at me. “You know I wouldn’t have missed your birthday, oh yeah I got something for you” I said as I took out a small black velvet box out of my back pocket and gave it to her. “Oh my gosh it’s beautiful” Zara said as she took the chain out of the box “You know what it means yeah?” I said. “Yeah ‘97’ was the year we kissed in primary school and I guess the heart around it means you...” “Love you” I interrupted, as Zara looked at me her eyes started to gleam, she took a deep breath in, looked back at the chain, bit her lip and came close to kiss me, as I leaned in to kiss her the door opened “Oh there you two are, we were about to cut your cake Zee. Was I interrupting something?” Laila said “Nah we were just leaving” I replied. “Come Zee lets go get some cake” I continued to say and with that we left the kitchen and carried on partying, just hoping Laila didn’t hear or see nothing, the rest of that night me and Zara never really talked but we kept looking at each other from across the room. I wanted to be with her so bad that even when I was slow dancing with Laila I was still thinking about her and looking at her and I know she was thinking about me because I could see her looking at me.

The next two days after that I never saw Zara not even at college, good thing too because I was having relationship troubles; Laila was getting even more jealous of me and Zara and was always asking me questions. She also wanted us to take our relationship to the next level she wanted me to meet her parents. “I want you to meet my parents” Laila whinged at me, “That’s big commitment Laila and I know your dad wont like me. He wants you to be with someone rich and went to a top university and I’m not that guy he’s going to be on a hype, you know he’s going to try a ting” I replied. “First thing I don’t care what my dad wants it’s about what I want which is what you always say to me. Second thing is I know it’s a big commitment and it is sudden but it will be ok and no babes he won’t be on a hype, I wouldn’t let him talk bad about you or too you. Please just come over for one night and just have dinner with us please” Laila pleaded. “I don’t know babes” “Please!” Laila begged “Okay I’ll come but your dad better no what’s good because if he gets rude I’ll....” I said seriously, “Don’t worry; everything will be fine” Laila replied with a smile before she gave me a little kiss “Ok” I said before I gave her a kiss back.

That night I went to Laila’s house, I was going to dress up but I thought fuck it, this is me I’m not going to act for no one, I didn’t dress like a thug but I still had on what I would normally wear, some baggy jeans but not too baggy, a nice t-shirt, clean white trainers, and a New Era hat, but when I got to the door, and I saw the dress that Laila’s mum was wearing I thought ‘Shit! I knew I should of wore a shirt and trousers’ “Oh you must be Jemmel, come in you’re just in time for dinner” Laila’s mum said in a posh accent. Which didn’t surprise me at all because she looked like a ‘Posh’ women she was quite tall and slim, she had long eye lashes and she was also really pretty for her age, I could definitely see were Laila got her looks from. “Thank you I would have been here earlier but my bike was acting up” I replied as I walked into the dining room. As I walked into the dining room Laila’s dad was sitting at the head of the table and he already looked pissed off and to make things worst Laila comes over and give me a kiss on the cheek and that just set the tone for the evening. “So Jemmel tell me about yourself since I haven’t heard nothing about you before two days ago” Laila’s dad said. “Well there’s nothing much to say I’m nine -teen, me and my boy I mean my friend have our own place in South London, I study web designing; I recently got a job in a small company doing just that and I’m in line for a promotion. Apparently” I replied trying to impress him. “That sounds nice” Laila’s mum said. “There isn’t much money in web designing, I mean it isn’t a real job” Laila’s dad said while looking straight at me with an unimpressed face, I just sat there for second while thinking ‘Look at this Bill Cosby motherfucker trying to tell me that Web Designing isn’t a real job, is he stupid? How is web designing not a real job? It’s 2005 what world is he living in; what a prick!’ I then shook my head and laughed a little. “What seems to be funny Jemmel?” Laila’s Dad asked “Nothing really I just think it’s funny that you said that web designing isn’t a real job” I replied while still sniggering before I ate some more food. “Well since you’re so smart tell me why it is a real job?” Laila’s dad said as he crossed his arms and leant back in his chair. “Well Sir the internet is a global thing and a lot of people are now using it every day, for media, music, for information, to meet people, for tons of things, I mean everyone knows about the internet’s uses and everybody uses the internet. Well not everybody” I said while giving him a weird look. “And my job pays me a bit more than a grand two hundred a month; I work eight hours a day for three days which puts nearly £325 in my pocket every week so I’m easy” I continued to say; I then turned and said “Can I have some gravy please?” to Laila before I gave her Dad a cocky smirk. Looking bemused at what I just said he just looked down at his plate as if he was shocked at the amount of money I was earning because for my age I was earning quite a bit, he then looked at me like as if he wanted to start a problem and then I saw his eyes look at my tattoos. “So I see you like vandalising your skin, that probably doesn’t go well with your clients and what does that say on your hand?” he asked as he pointed at my hand tattoo. “It says Ms. Lee Sir! It’s for my step-mum she died recently, so to remind me of how wonderful she was I decided to get her name tattooed on my hand” I replied harshly because I was getting pissed off and I think he knew that. “So what does the one on your forearm mean? That you’re gangster?” Laila’s dad said rudely “Daddy!” Laila said looking embarrassed. “William that was totally uncalled for” Laila’s mum said to him “Hey I just want to know if my daughter is dating a criminal and if we’ve let a thug into our house” he said with a smirk, and then I just lost it. “You know what, fuck you! I didn’t have to come here to listen to your shit, yes I’ve got a few tattoo’s but that doesn’t define who I am as a person. You don’t even know me but you want to judge me. What gives you the right to judge me? Because you have money you think you’re better than me? Well I’m sorry if I’m not as rich as you but at least I’m trying to make something of myself, you don’t know me from anywhere to start talking down to me, and if this was a road ting I would of buss your fucking head from long time, you dickhead!” I shouted. “Jemmel!” Laila said “I’m sorry Laila but your Dad is a dickhead, he thinks he’s better than me just because he works in an office” I said “I beg your pardon” Laila’s Dad said as he stood up. “What?! What you going to do old man? Are you going to fight me? If not, sit your old self down before I knock you out” I said aggressively to Laila’s Dad and within me saying that he sat down “Thanks for the meal Mrs Lawrence” I said politely to Laila’s Mum before walking out the house.

As I walked out the house towards my bike Laila came outside to stop me “Jemmel don’t go, forget my dad, he doesn’t understand you, I’ll get my things and we can just go live at your place” Laila said as she held on to me. “What?” “Yeah we can live at your house I’m sure Kieran and Ella won’t mind I mean we love each other right? So we should do it” and as she said that I just turned away “You do love me right?” Laila said as she began holding on to me even tighter. I just looked at her, I mean even though Laila and I got along with each, she treated me right, and I really liked her I mean I did love her I just didn’t love her the way she wanted me too because I felt so strong about Zara. “I knew it; you don’t love me do you? After all this time, I should of known, I mean you’ve never said it back to me whenever I’ve said it to you; at first I thought it was because you thought you were too hard to say it but now I realise that you just didn’t love me after all” Laila said while still holding me but I never replied. “Then who do you love Jemmel? Because I know it’s not me, who do you love? Tell me; tell me!” Laila screamed but I still couldn’t say nothing so I just continued look away. “Its Zara isn’t it, it must be; that’s the only other girl you’re ever with, it’s Zara! You love Zara” Laila said as she flung her hands in the air. “And that night at her party, I knew something was going on, I just knew it but I never said anything that time because you told me you didn’t like Zara! You kept saying that she was just a friend” Laila shouted as tears rolled down her eyes. “But at least you weren’t lying because you don’t like Zara you love her!” Laila continued to say as she began to break down into tears “I’m sorry I do love you but...” I said. “Just go” she whispered I then gave her a kiss on her cheek, jumped on my bike and went to see Zara to tell her how I feel about her. But when I got to her house I saw her kissing some guy outside on her doorstep, she didn’t see me so I drove off back home, once again I was too late.

I couldn’t believe I had a girl that really cared for me and that I really cared for too and I let her go and I nearly had Zara but I lost her again. “Oh shit. Ouch! Why are you slapping me for?” “Because I told you Kieran to watch your language in front of Ashley” “He doesn’t understand anything yet Ella” “What’s wrong fam?” “Nothing I just thought the engine was messing up for a second there” “That’s still not a reason to be swearing in front of Ashley” “I’m sorry, and stop laughing J” “Come on you know I was going to laugh” “Anyway where here now” “Thank you babes” “So is Danielle driving to the wedding babes?” “Yeah or if she doesn’t want to she could look after Ashley at the back while I drive her car” “Ok well I see you guys later at the wedding bye babes” “Bye Ell’s bye solider”. “Where are we going now K?” “We have to go and pick up Beezy” “Oh ok” “So what have you been thinking about all that time you were sitting down there all quiet?” “I was just thinking about old times, old things we used to do, old girlfriends” “Ha! You have too many old girlfriends to think about” “No I don’t” “Yes you do, I tell you who I remember, I remember Sadie that girl was nice and you messed things up by cheating on her” “I didn’t cheat on her, I think” “Yes you did, are you telling me you don’t remember what happened?” “Oh yeah” “I told you” “Ah be quiet man!” “But you know I’m right J, you know that’s why you’re all silent all of a sudden”.

Damn Kieran might be right but I’m not going to tell him that, but that does remind me of that time when I met Sadie and what I did to mess it up. You see Sadie was a good girl and we could of had something special but I wanted more at that time; I wanted to be with Zara.

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