No Business - Clawing Through the Back Doors of Show Biz

All Rights Reserved ©

In Seussscience

I went to La Jolla south left pacific

No longer a boy, a need nonspecific

A place to enjoy a substance terrific

Avoid hoi polloi and nonsense horrific

The shore the sea

Not Normandy

To me the perfect remedy

Deplore ennui

Restore glory

So free within this parody

Ignoring such delights you see

You’re just leaving more for me

I needed to frolic

My colic was bad

Afflicted addicted inflicted

So sad

I needed some chuckles

My knuckles were clad

Beyondingly naked surf boundingly mad

Guess I undressed the rest back at the pad

Distressed not impressed

The locals not glad

I bounded and bounced

Depression I trounced

No fear of drowning

Displeasure renounced

My presence announced

Responsive they flounced

My smiles then frowning

Propriety pounced! ! ! !

Soon sirens were calling

Their wailing appalling

While my balls were bare there

I wasn’t there balling

In fact just enthralling

Perhaps caterwauling

Blitzed to the eyeballs walls

I answered the calling

The question unasked

Again I was tasked

As always unclad

Risk being unmasked

Yet still I persisted

No pleasure resisted

Regardless consistence

Of they who insisted

You in the surf come out with your hands down!!!

A pig clad in blue, locals wearing a frown

Had gathered together defending their town

From the predations of this naked clown

“My hands are arm feet, my feet ankle fists

No gloves for my toesies, nor shoes on my wrists

Unless we embrace it, arrest one resists

But I’ll emerge naturally if you insists”

Again in demand out there in the sand

Object subjection to their reprimand

The public’s objection I don’t understand

Not the only erection at least not at hand

Menacing me a piggy gun drawn

An ardor to maintain an order lawn

Prudes with explosives our self-righteous spawn

As a dusky gravity began to dawn

The situation truly called for tact

A miracle not to be too exact

Abnegation of negative impact

Out there displaying exactly what they lacked

Life’s miracles are often hard to find

Perhaps the reason they are thus defined

Up ahead they could all see my behind

Pooling their resources to enslave the mastermind

Stripped quite bare my options appeared to suck

Bawdy surfing another crazy schmuck

Writer’s caprice accorded me some luck

For fiction’s the place where miracles truck

Along the beach came a man with an easel

Tall and quite proud, not to slink like a weasel

Distinctive in stride at least vis-à-vis all

I knew right away it was Theodor Geisel

Geesal or Guysell to play fast and loose

We sell or why sell reduce the abuse

She tells that I smell, fermental grape juice

He’s well delightful the good Doctor Seuss

At Seuss’s choice, not Seuss, but Soice

Spoken with his insouciant voice

As expense deploys the odd invoice

In Seuss science we can rejoice

What is this madness upon the loose

Or some more confusion to reduce

Where Mother Goose might introduce

Put to good use came Doctor Seuss

“What is all this hubbubbery?!

The doctor queried there

“This fellow could use a shrubbery

Or at least more hair”

More than just my face was rubbery

Elastic under where

Goofballs behaving all schlubbery

We made the oddest pair

The patient gawkers knew the Doc

His walk his canvass and his smock

To talk of shock in times of schlock

My cock an actual stumbling block

Alas the Doctor had detractors

Liberal stance and other factors

Dissatisfaction from abstractors

Impacting the local actors

Sights like these will harm the young!!!!”

So said Millicent Van Dung

Accord within themselves among

They sought to string up the well hung

But the very young were Seuss’s specialty

Though wisely he avoided kids assiduously

Didn’t find them stupid, just ignorant you see

The very ignorance we learn from school and family

“This man’s dongle scares you

You think that it impairs you

But really it just dares you

To understand the form

When what’s natural shows through

All that it does is shows you

What you already know’s true

Refusal to conform

Know the offended stare too

And only cause they care to

And sinners say their prayer too

Why deviate the norm?

Despite what you propose to

Delight what I have chose do

I’ll draw him up some clothes too

To help to keep him warm”

The Doctor’s word was good

Canvassing my adrift wood

My shame was thus contained

The good doctor explained

“I’ll draw him up some legs and feet

Calves and thighs then to complete

And to appease the so discrete

I’ll add some shorts to cover meat”

Me concealed behind the canvass, the Doctor took his brush

And painted me some crazy legs, upon the crowd a hush

Many were quite taken, while some were led to blush

Manhood so impressive he made my bottom plush

As I held the canvass, upon it he did wail

Appreciated his attention to detail

Another brush with greatness where vapid is on sale

At the end he offered me a furry tufted tail!!!

“Embarrassment now held at bay

No display fray to cause dismay

Nor pay to bray of such horseplay

I waylay spray from this roué

But still you stay still and survey

Still distrait eh, you still naysay

I allay away weight you convey

Assail midway his strange métier

Gave interplay an overlay

If not great hey it’s okay

With cachet I say sashay

Return to day play, nay blasé

I pray you away to chalet

Say let this weirdo on his way”

This aroused in them no ovation

The local gentry was done with it

More banal moral condemnation

Left no time right for an idiot

To further my expanding aggravation

For crimes that I might yet commit

The cop offered me a citation

For displaying art without a permit

Continue Reading Next Chapter

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.