CRACK ONESHOTS-

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Summary

18+!!! crack oneshots i originally made for my friends, but i decided to publish them. all characters are aged up in this book so dont worry! :)

for natalie-suna smut??? pssh yolo

ICICLES HUNG FROM THE FROSTED ROOF. Snow fell from the dark sky. Grey, blue, and navy colours mixed to form a gorgeous symphony. It never failed to look beautiful.

Natalie swung a blanket across her shoulders. The fuzzy texture tickling her skin. Warmth engulfed her body as she was hit with the fluff, its softness making her feel welcome and calm.

She walked over to the door, slowly sliding it open with her hand. It was lightly frosted over, making her hands shiver, and the door have fingerprint marks on its glass.

Walking to stand on the porch, her socks were immediately drenched with water. The snow had melted because of the heating from the house.

"What the fuck, dude." She muttered to herself.

Natalie threw her socks on the floor right after she entered the house. All she wanted to do was step outside for some refreshing air, and now her socks were wet and the rest were in the wash. Now the worst day ever.

She fucking hated it here. She wanted to be gone. Now she had to wait an hour for all her socks to be done washing, then dry them for another hour, and she was too lazy to wait that long so she forgot about what she was going to do.

Suna wanted to come over to see his precious girlfriend. He wasn't soft with many people, but Natalie was that one person he was soft with.

On the off chance, Suna would show affection to his parents, but it was mostly held for Natalie. She was his first girlfriend, and they had been dating for 5 months by now.

Natalie's phone sounded, it's buzzing sound rang through her ears. She picked up her phone and before she could put it up to her ear, there was a loud commotion and gibberish.

"BABE! BABE!" Suna said, Natalie could practically hear him from his house which was 5 blocks away. "Can I come over right now? Please?" The raven-haired boy finished.

Natalie sighed, if he was hyper by himself, imagine the shit they'd do together. Such as killing people, damaging objects, committing arson. It could be anything, especially with Natalie around since Suna usually wasn't very hyper.

"Sure, just don't get ran over on your way, or even almost again," Natalie told her boyfriend, it was a long fucking story, "See you when you get here, babe."

Natalie went upstairs and grabbed her charger, knowing that Suna would probably want to stay downstairs like always.

She then heard a knocking on the door, assuming correctly, it was Suna. He engulfed her in a massive bear hug, squeezing her and knocking the wind out of her. She had to tap his arm to let him know that it was time to let go.

"Guess what, guess what, guess what!" Suna practically screamed out to the girl in front of him. He shook her aggressively, her head wobbled back and forth.

"What is it, Suna?" She breathed out, holding her head since she was dizzy.

"I got a car! So that means we can have late-night drives while listening to One Direction, or other stuff!" He spoke, happy with his new investment.

Natalie immediately got excited, she had always wanted late-night drives with a significant other, it was her dream.

She grabbed her coat ran to get the wet socks she placed by the heater, (thankfully they were warm). She placed her tennis shoes on and shoved her coat over her arms.

"Let's go, cmon cmon cmon!" She jumped up and down making Suna tilt his head back and his throat fill with laughter. He gestured over to the black vehicle. "Get in." Suna said as he climbed into the car, pushing open the door for Natalie.

She climbed it, turning on the heat and closing her door. She clicked her seatbelt in, then turned down the K-pop. "That's fucking shit." She whispered to herself.

"We're not going for a drive, we're going to a drive-in theatre!" Suna winked at the girl, hoping she'd like the idea. Natalie nodded her head furiously, she hoped she would get that big yummy juicy gallop horse cock of Suna's. She was just waiting for the right time.

She batted her eyelashes, "Okay, papi" Suna became flustered, his cheeks and the tips of his ears being a light tint of red.
He never expected Natalie to say that.

Suna soon pulled the PRNDL to get to drive, then started driving because that's what you do in a car (duh asf). He turned up the music, changing it to 90 FM (pretty sure that's a station in Miyagi idk lmao).

"Gloop gloop double bitch suck your dick, mm" Natalie and Suna both sang out. Natalie unbuckled her seat belt and started shaking her ass in her seat.

"PERIOD!" Suna screamed he then started shaking his ass as well, seatbelt on though. The car was jumping on the road. "FUCK YOUR BITCH SUCK YOUR BITCH LICK HER CLIT DOUBLE DICK MMM!" The duo screamed the lyrics in unison, some houses on the street started turning their lights on from how fucking loud they were.

Suna finally pulled up in the drive-in, he parked in a space far away from any other cars. (😏). He wanted that wap not gonna lie.

"Okay, I'm going to get popcorn for us, be right back," Suna told his girlfriend, "be careful!" He yelled, finishing his sentence.

Natalie waited for Suna to get back, she shivered in her seat from the cold. Once she saw Suna walking with popcorn in his hands in her peripheral, she calmed down.

____timeskip bc my hand is literally cramping I'm not joking please fucking help____

Natalie looked at Suna slyly. She had already watched the movie on the screen, so she knew what was about to come on. Sexy time😏. Anyway, she just wanted that double-decker big plump fat dicky dick so yeah.

"Suna, I want ur dick not gonna lie." Natalie said blankly. She was being very straightforward, Suna-likey.

"Okay." He unzipped his zipper (duh it's that's why it's called a zipperπŸ™„). His pp came out, HARD ASF. BITCH IT WAS A WHOLE STONE SJNDNEDN. Anyways, the sex scene had come on.

"I wanna gobble gobble full throuto that dick," Natalie spoke. She didn't care what people heard, she said what she said. Period.

"Okay." Suna pulled Natalie in front of him. She got on her knees and gobbled that shit down.

"Oh fuck, oh shit yes." Suna said his eyes were wide as fuck. Like πŸ‘πŸ‘…πŸ‘ that yeah anyway so yeah Natalie gobbled that shit all the way down. She gaggedy gagged gagged.

"Fuck yummy." Suna said out loud after he put those kids down her throat:)

"Yummy." Natalie said.

Suna started the car again, putting it in the drive. He pulled out the drive-in, and onto the road.

"Put your seatbelt on." Natalie told Suna cautiously. She wanted nothing bad to happen to him.

"Pssh, yolo." Suna waved it off, not caring about the fucking seatbelt.

Right after that mistake, Suna crashed into a tree being the dumbass he is. "AAHHHEHDHSHSHEOSSJJ!" He screamed in pleasure and pain.

"I told him to buckle up like damn many can't listen to shit, the fuck." Natalie rolled her eyes and pretended to cry on the phone to the ambulance. She cared about him of course, but like, he was being mad dumb so she was mad at him more.

She rode in the back of the ambulance holding onto Sunas hand. "You was actin' mad stupid back there, Suna-chan," She told her boyfriend. Even though he was unconscious, she still had to talk to him.

They finally arrived at the hospital, rushing Suna to the ER, Natalie cried for the first time. She never got that daddy D, and if he died, she never will, also she didn't marry him yet and she wanted that check so what the fuck.

"You can now come in, Miss. Wtfurlastnameis." The doctor spoke to Natalie sadly, patting her back.

She and the doctor slowly stepped to Suna's room, sad of what she might see. When she entered, she saw her boyfriend laying on a hospital bed, IVs attached to his pale, lanky arms.

Natalie leaned on the side of the bed, shaking her head in her hands. "Ouhh" she 'cried'. "You looking mad cute on your death bed, Suna." Natalie tried to make Suna feel better.

"Always buckle up." Suna said to a non-existent camera. Then his head dropped, dying at that second. His monitor went 'beep beep' and shit, making Natalie scared as fuck.

"Oh my God, never got that big daddy d, but ill get those big daddy ashes." Natalie said out loud. The doctors slow clapped to her beautiful words.

Natalie left that hospital knowing that her dead boyfriend was fucking stupid.
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