My life was a downward spiral of unpredictable events. I used to believe I knew my purpose in life, I mean I still do but I was confused. Why was Cal in my life? And why was I suddenly developing feelings for him other than hatred? I was secretly hoping that his motives for killing me were disintegrating. This was different now, right? I wasn’t the only one who felt something incredible when we kissed. Cal had to have felt it too.
It was like our bodies synced to this tune only we could hear. Every move, every minor touch was like a connection to my soul. It was so weird. So, so much different than the random sparks I got with Alan; who I thought at one point was my soul mate. Cal and I literally had electricity radiating off of every fiber of our bodies.
Just thinking about it gave me the goose bumps. I shivered from the chill and finally got out of bed. It was Saturday; everyone should be home. For some reason I had a feeling something horrible was coming my way. It wouldn’t be the first time. Mom was already pouring me a cup of coffee.
“Where’s Caleb?” I took a sip of the coffee and burnt my tongue. Typical me.
“He’s in Gabe’s old room, sleeping.”
I occupied the seat next to her. “I hope he doesn’t get any nightmares.”
My mother was nodding her head but had that look on her face. She had a question brewing in there somewhere.
“Honey, how did you get away from that demon? Because the way you explained it you were defenseless.”
Could I tell her? “Defenseless? Do you really have that little faith in me?”
I tried playing it off like I was offended.
She patted my arm. “Of course not but even your brothers sometimes can’t protect themselves against evil creatures without their weapons.”
My mind was going back and forth with the outcome of telling her the truth. Would she believe me; think Cal was a blessed too? Hmm well technically that was kind of true. Cal was an angel, still was but not really the good kind. Yet he was still blessed at one point. Well here it goes.
“Cal saved me.” I confessed shutting my eyes momentarily so I wouldn’t have to see her disappointed reaction.
“Cal?” She repeated.
“He can see them too.”
My mother fall back into her chair, mind boggled. She really didn’t see that one coming. She looked entirely shocked and not disappointed like I thought.
“Really?” She raised a curious brow. “Now that explains a lot.” She then began to smile like a madwoman. Was I missing something?
“What does that explain?”
“His eyes. They have seen many things. I guess I never thought it possible because most chosen to be blessed with the sight to see evil other than ourselves don’t survive. It just never occurred to me.”
Again there she goes with that stupid, obnoxious smile.
“Why are you smiling?” It was starting to scare me.
“How does he make you feel?”
I got lost in thought. He...Cal was...I don’t know. I couldn’t even put into words the unexplainable security yet fear factor I get with him. I mean...hmmmmm.
“You really like him don’t you?” She had that weird twinkle in her eyes. “Don’t even try to deny it honey. Your face says it all.”
Betrayed by my own face. I mentally slapped myself. “He gets me. I don’t have to hide the things I see or feel. There’s this strange connection I get with him. He understands.”
“You shouldn’t have to hide and if he can accept you the way you are then that’s all the matters.”
She seemed so happy for me, that I had finally found someone I could share my thoughts with. I mean Alan tried to get on my level with the whole seeing, fighting demons but it was not the same. I was always scared maybe something I say would scare him and he would leave. Alan didn’t belong in my world.
“You’ll have to invite Cal over soon. I’m disappointed you haven’t told us sooner about-”
“No, mom. He doesn’t want anyone to know yet. It’s his secret, just let him tell you on his own.”
If they started digging into Cal’s personal life I was afraid they would find something they really wouldn’t like. I didn’t need them to know yet. I needed more time to figure this thing out myself. Maybe our fates intertwining was no accident. Maybe he was my destiny.
She nodded. “I still want you to invite him over for dinner again.”
I got up and threw on my jacket. “Will do.”
“Where are you going?”
“Yes where are you going sister?” Gabe slammed the door behind him, making a bigger dramatic entrance.
I scrunched my face. “Why do you care?”
He crossed his massive arms over his chest. He must have just come from the gym. This wasn’t good.
“Because I’m your big brother and I’m looking out for you.” He fumed. “Are you going to see that boy toy of yours?”
My eyes instinctively rolled to the back of my head. “He’s not a toy and no. I’m not going to see him today.”
“There’s something wrong about him.” Gabe was never one to hold back his thoughts.
I don’t know why, but suddenly I got offensive. “I’m sure your wife thought the same thing about you when she met you.”
He signed. “All I’m saying is be careful. He breaks your heart I tear out his arteries.”
I had no doubt about that. My brothers technically knew a thousand ways to torture and slowly kill a person.
“I’ll make you a promise. I’ll break his heart before he even gets a chance with mine.”
Gabe gave me his wicked smile that a proud big brother would give his little sister.
“I’m going to see grandma. It’s been awhile.” I whispered before leaving.
My grandmother passed away a few years ago. I missed her wise words. She used to help me so much in every predicament I found myself in. Lately I found myself missing her more than usual. Maybe it was because I felt like if she was still alive I could have possibly told her the truth about Cal. She would know what to do.
I stopped by the nearest grocery store and got her favorite flowers, white calla lilies. It was a good thing I decided to bring my backpack otherwise carrying flowers on my motorcycle was not going to end well. As I got closer to the cemetery I saw a thick mess of fog cover the area like a horror movie. That didn’t happen often. I had already witnessed too many random phenomena to get even a shiver of fear.
The cemetery dated back centuries. It was beautiful with all its elegant gothic looking angel statutes. Every angel was different, representing many things. I loved coming here as a child, as morbid as that sounded.
My grandmother’s grave was by one of the biggest oak trees in the graveyard. It was a bit difficult navigating through the fog but good thing my reflexes were top notch. Her tomb was etched with Victorian styled words of her greatest blessings. She was a wonderful grandmother and mentor.
I placed the flowers over the wet grass. “Hey grandma.” I took a heavy breath. “I miss you, so much.”
I could just hear her voice now telling me to go on. She loved to listen and I loved her advice.
“I met a boy...well he’s more of a man with like big scary muscles.” No that was wrong. “He’s a fallen angel actually. I know I know. What was I thinking? Grandma it’s not like I went out to find him. He stalked me and threatens to kill me almost every second of my existence.”
I could easily envision her horror expression to my confession. A gasp and a tsk, tsk.
“Grandma I can’t explain it but there’s something between us. Like this ridiculous connection. It seems cliché, I know. I’ve never felt such a strong connection before with anyone. It’s sick and twisted and dangerous.”
I was waving my hands about like I was some crazy homeless person talking to myself.
“I don’t know why he wants to kill me though but I think his priorities have changed. He has to feel the same way I do. I mean, come on. Emotions with this strong of passion just can’t come from one person.” Unless he was a really good actor.
“Don’t be too sure about that.” A deep raspy voice said behind me.
I had to squint my eyes to see through the fog but I could distinguish that voice from any. It was Cal by the tone of it and he sounded dangerously playful.
“Rude much? I’m trying to have a private conversation with my grandma. So leave.” I was pissed and not to mention a little embarrassed.
“Oh I’m sorry. I thought you had finally lost it and was rambling on for no apparent reason.”
Cal’s tall figure entered my view and I got a sudden chill. He had that tight leather jacket on and the undeniable mystery factor following him around.
“Why must we play games?” I was tired of his bipolar mood swings.
Last night we kissed. We shared a wonderful moment and now he was back to being a jerk face. When was this going to end?
“I thought you like the chase.” He inclined leaning on my grandmother’s tomb disrespectfully.
“Not when I’m the prey.” I stood a little taller to hide my insecurity. “Why are you here Cal?”
“I wasted too much time already. I think its best I get this over with.” He had this evil glow in his eyes.
It was murderous and totally animalistic. His expression reminded me of a demon’s. He was going to kill me and finally do as he kept warning me he would.
“Why? Why do you want to kill me?” I was frustrated with the mixed emotions. I thought we were getting somewhere other than death.
He didn’t reply and he kept his jaw tight and stern. He was studying me like a science project, wondering if I’d run for my life or not. I was done running.
I dropped my head for a moment, defeated. “Can you kill me? I know you’ll try to deny it but we have something. Something neither of us expected or can explain.”
His conniving lips curved. “Does little Lakey have a crush on me?”
He mocked he further with a laugh. Urgh. I wasn’t making this up. It wasn’t all in my head. He was just messing with me like he always did.
“Stop. Just stop playing and be real with me. I’m the only one here. Tell me how you really feel about me.” I demanded like a brat but I had a right to know. He sort of led me on.
“Nothing,” he declared with no emotion. “I feel nothing at all.”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe you.”
He was a twisted liar and could probably make a lawyer tell the truth. I needed to get it out of him. He needed to admit it to himself. I took one regretful step toward him.
“You’re lying. You promised you’d never lie to me.”
His jaw constricted and I could tell he was falling into the conundrum of our chaotic relationship. Either way I was going to get the truth out of him.
When he didn’t respond I courageously closed the small gap between us. Maybe I needed to remind him. Every hair on my body was standing due to the closeness of the electric heat radiating off his body. He stood very still as I took my hand and pressed it to his chest. I was kind of shaking from the bold adrenaline rush.
“You can lie through your teeth all you want but I have all the proof I need underneath my hand.” His heart was beating uncontrollably.
His eyes darkened to the deepest of blues and I lost all my sense of reason. I bravely tip toed up so that my yearning lips were barely touching his in a sweet temptation. His breathing picked up and once he opened the windows to his soul I leaned in. His lips were soft and ever so willing to greet mine.
Cal slipped his arm around the back of my neck forcing me deeper into the kiss. I could feel the need we both had to prove to each other that there was more between us than we lead on. We couldn’t deny it now.
I was in blind bliss as I savored the moment. Then like all unbelievable moments my bliss came to an end when I felt a cold sharp metal pierce through my skin into my organ. My breath caught as we parted lips.
His hot staggering breaths tickled my skin like poison. “I have to do this.”
I shook my head regardless of the wasted effort. “Callias,” I whispered as he plunged the dagger deeper into my body, twisting it for a larger wound.
I could feel it. I felt it all, every layer of my skin and organ being torn. Blood rushing into parts of my organs it didn’t belong. I was bleeding out and all I could do was manage my breathing. Never would have I expected him to actually stab me to death. I was stupid to have faith in him.
I had never been so close to death before. I was always careful and never on my own. My family couldn’t save me from this one.
My vision blurred as heated tears ran down my cheeks. My mind was clouded and heavy so focused on his deceitful ghost blue eyes. But he wasn’t rejoicing in my death instead I saw pain etched in the darkest corners of his haunted eyes. It was as if he didn’t want to kill me but had to like he said.
Cal leaned in gently and kissed my tear away. “It will all be over soon.”
“Callias!” I heard a man shout but even my hearing was turning into an annoying ring.
Cal held me up as my body went nearly limp from blood loss. I was turning into ice so I didn’t mind the body warmth, even from him.
“Ah brother, so good of you to join us. Why don’t you show your face?” Cal’s voice turned into a malicious sneer.
So it was Matthias he was talking to. Wait, he wasn’t allowed to show himself. I wiggled my head around to try and spot him. Was I dreaming then? I watched as one of the male angel statues came to life. It morphed into flesh and Matthias appeared right in front of us. It was remarkable to watch pure stone turn into flesh and bone.
He was calm and collected as he stared down Cal, his troubled brother. “Let her go Callias.”
Cal’s arms tightened around me as my knees went numb. “But she likes when I hold her. Don’t you baby?”
I was basking in my pain and couldn’t care less if the bringer of my death was holding me. What more could he do?
He caressed my hair back as he stalked Matthias with those accusing predator eyes. I could almost feel it myself. The tension in the air was choking me more than the blood flooding my lungs.
“Your quarrel is with me brother. Let her go.” I heard Matthias hover closer.
I lifted my heavy eyelids because I knew this would be my only chance to catch an angel on earth. I pray God has mercy on my soul and opens the gates of heaven for me.
“It’s not your time to die Laken.” Matthias reassured me like he heard my thoughts. “Callias you will let her go.”
Angered Cal then squeezed my wound without warning. I winced in anguish as pain shot through my whole body. My breathing grew more and more shallow.
“Who are you to make promises you can’t keep?” Cal spit. “You can’t control her fate and you know she is far too long in death to save now.”
It was like Cal was enjoying rubbing my death in his brother’s face. I suppose that was why Cal came for me. He just wanted to see his brother and as my guardian angel he figured Matthias would save me.
“You mustn’t go against Father’s rules now brother. All you can do is watch her take her dying breath.”
Matthias looked beyond conflicted with grief. Was he giving up on me? Then was this my purpose in life, to die in the hands of my guardian’s revengeful brother?
“Why must you do this? Why must you prove a point?” Matthias said with pity.
“How many more innocent lives will have to feel torture, to feel unimaginable pain, and death; Innocents and even the sinful without the chance of repentance?”
I was just the innocent bystander; a victim in a disturbing plot of revenge. By killing me, Matthias’ charge, Cal would finally get what he sought. He wanted his brother to suffer.
“Stop this Callias. I know you don’t what to see her die. Despite your refusal of love I know it hurts you to see her in pain. You still have some form of compassion left.”
I could hear the rapid beating of my heart inside my ears. The pounding of my heart was getting slower and slower and I couldn’t even feel my fingers anymore.
“Does it hurt brother; Feeling the death seep into her veins as if it is your own?” Cal taunted further as I withered in torture. “Her death means nothing in the sight of God.”
“You know that is not true. His children are saved from any wrath. Their reward is in heaven.”
“Was my reward to watch the ones I love suffer and perish?” Cal shouted but I heard it as a whisper.
Silence. When Matthias didn’t reply Cal gripped the dagger and dug it even deep inside my body. I raised my hand to cover my gaping wound but all I felt was liquid. I was engorged in my own blood.
“You will have the same fate brother.” Cal hissed.
Matthias helplessly stood back knowing full well his brother would without hesitation end me if he took another step.
“Callias,” I managed to whisper despite the blood clogging my windpipe.
Shocked by my desperate plea Cal hesitantly looked down at me. His eyes were the only beautiful solace I had in my masochistic world. My head was in a treacherous high as my life was sucked out of me. I could hardly keep my head up but I guess that was why Cal cupped my face.
“I forgive you.” I could vaguely recognize my own voice. Was this really me talking?
His eyes blinked a bit in confusion like he didn’t believe me. Maybe I was hysterical from the blood loss but for some reason I felt like I needed to get it off my conscience.
His brows furrowed in an angry gesture. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
Perhaps he thought I was tricking him. Honestly I don’t think I was. I wouldn’t lie about something like this no matter how delusional I was.
I tried to laugh but only choked. “I’m already dead. I’m not lying. You’re not a bad soul and whatever is driving you to kill me is only pulling you deeper into that world of destruction. Don’t let it destroy you.” I heaved as the blood clogged my speech. “I still have faith in you.”
His eyes went from furious to completely petrified before everything went black.