With the luck of the devil riding down our backs it began to pour cats and dogs. It literally looked like the sinking of Titanic. There was sure to be plenty of floods in the morning. Cal seemed to be a professional driver though even in his delicate condition. He promised he was fine but the more blood seeping through his shirt had me worried.
I couldn’t even see the outline of the road out the windows but we were stopping anyway. Maybe it was another angel thing, like x ray vision or something. The pounding of the golf ball sized rain drops beating against the car was like a timer determining my fate. It was like the stupid back ground music that warned you of something tragic that was going to happen in the next act.
“We’re going to have to get out of this car eventually. I doubt this rain will ease up.”
He was right. “On the count of three. One, two...three.”
I hesitated but opened the door anyway. Cal waited graciously for me to leave before getting out himself.
I was hit from every which way with water. I used to love the rain as a child. I would play in it till my hands would wrinkle and I’d be sick in bed for the next week. I still enjoyed it. The refreshing cool feeling of water consuming you to experience a new sensation. It was God’s gift to earth. It was a blessing of growth.
Cal grabbed my hand and led me into his apartment building. It was one of those expensive buildings with tight security and home to pro football players. The lobby floors were made of marble for goodness. I didn’t even want to think about how much a condo would cost a month.
I was drenched and probably looked like a wreck of messy hair by the look on the receptionist’s face. Then again that strange dirty look was probably because she had a crush on Cal.
The elevator ride was quiet but thankfully short. He apparently lived on the eleventh floor. Cal unlocked the door to room 1101. Inside I was shocked how clean everything was. I kind of expected him to be the clutter type with his aggressive rage I figured he’d break ever stick of furniture in this place. It was simple too and modern but it lacked personality. To me it looked like a showroom.
“Nice crib.” I went straight for the balcony view.
It was still pouring stupid crazy outside so I couldn’t see much but I was sure it was a spectacular view.
“Thank you.” I heard him shuffle his feet before saying, “I’ll get you a towel.”
I almost forgot how soaking wet I was. I took the towel he offered and gradually wiped what I could but I was still pathetically wet and getting cold. I had goose bumps ride up my arms. Did he have the AC on?
“Let me see your cut.” I demanded without meaning to sound so rude.
“Is this your way of getting me naked?” He snickered.
He might be in denial but I knew he was hurt more badly than he led on. I took the initiative and lifted his shirt, totally man handling him. My hands grazed the spot but it was only a line of skin tissue where the cut had been. Blood was smeared all over his chest.
“It’s just a scar.”
He chuckled. “You sound disappointed.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I mean...” I didn’t wish for him to-
Cal took his shirt from my hand and pulled it completely off. I was dumbfounded to say the least. Here I was standing right in front of Cal’s glorious body and all I could do was gawk at him. I turned around to rid myself of his beautiful temptation.
“Thank you...for protecting me.” I fiddled with my fingers and prayed he’d put a shirt on soon.
“Laken you’re going to die happy and from old age. I won’t let them get to you.” I didn’t say anything and he continued. “I’ll get you some dry clothes.”
His absence gave me time to think. Why? Why was he suddenly helping me? What was he getting out of it? Was he making up for all the bad he has done. Cal came back and to my discomfort he was still shirtless. He handed me a pair of sweatpants and a black shirt.
“I turned the heat on. It should be getting warm soon.”
“Why are you-” uuhhh how do I word this. “Is it redemption you’re looking for?”
He hadn’t told me what he’d get out of his deal with the devil but he wasn’t exactly striving for repentance. From our previous conversations he didn’t want to get back in the graces of God. Or so he says. Perhaps secretly he was seeking redemption, a sort of peace.
“I don’t know anymore.” His nails clawed through his hair in mere frustration. “I don’t think I could ever be that angel I was.”
“Do you wish you could?”
“Sometimes.” His honesty was refreshing.
I clutched the clothes in my hand. My hormones were on a rampage and I wondered if he knew that. Was he making me uneasy on purpose? I mean why couldn’t he just put a shirt on. Why was I complaining? Any girl in the world would be lucky to be in my predicament.
Did he expect me to change in front of him? Then as if he read my mind Cal turned his back on me giving me some form of privacy. He was no gentleman but I doubted he’d sneak a peek. I undressed and put on the dry clothes. Instantly I felt better but my lips were randomly quivering. I guess my bones were still frozen.
“You’re still cold.” Cal unexpectedly cocooned my frozen fingers and started blowing his hot breathe to warm me up.
I was turning to puddy. What guy would be that considerate?
“You’re incredibly beautiful.”
Wait, what? Did I hear him correctly? I gathered my courage and gazed into his blue eyes. They were pierced with passion and gentleness.
I shook my head. I looked like a nasty wet dog. “You must be blind.” Maybe I should have taken the complement. I don’t think I’d ever hear it again from his lips.
His hand went around my neck and he pulled me closer. I was very aware that the heat radiating off his naked body was doing more than warming me up. I had an attack of butterflies invade my stomach.
“I can assure you I’m extremely health. I have 20/20 vision.”
I closed my eyes. This was ridiculous? “Why are you saying this to me?”
“Because I can.”
I refused to open my eyes and fall damsel into his illusive trap. “You wanted to kill me once.”
“But that’s the true magnificence of it all. I couldn’t. Something about you makes me fall weak to my knees. I can’t...I can’t hurt you.”
The raw truth was in his voice and written across his face.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered before his lips grazed my own.
The sweet intoxicating temptation to kiss him was overwhelming. I couldn’t resist the urge any longer because I wanted to believe every word. My lips molded to his and I melted into the significance of our own little world, where only he and I existed.
My hand trailed up his bare chest on its own account. The butterflies in my stomach were bursting and igniting a forest fire of need.
“We can-” I pulled away just enough to whisper the words. How did he make me so weak?
“I had an eternity of darkness absorb me, but every time I look into your eyes I see the light I once was. The light I want to be. If I lose your light I know I could not survive in this sad world another second.”
My arms wound themselves around his torso. I guess a part of me wanted to shield him from the darkness.
He crushed his eager lips against mine and the equal rhythm of our heart beats echoed like a drum in my ears. His fingers fiddled with the hem of my shirt before pressing his palm upon my hip. The burning heat of our skin colliding was causing every fiber in my body to awaken to his will.
The delicious passion building up in our kiss felt so right. The perfect feeling, the clarity of emotions, it all fit so perfectly in our little world. In this moment I knew I could never be with anyone else. I could never feel this way with another.
Cal massaged his fingers down my spine. His touch was electrifying. My breath caught when he removed his lips to rummage their way down my neck in a tingling motion. I didn’t want him to stop.
His lips caressing my skin was in a way numbing my mind, my thoughts. Nothing felt better than having him so close. Cal tugged my shirt and in one swift move lifted it off me completely. My initial reaction was to cover myself up. I had never stood in front of a man in my lingerie. I felt vulnerable but I wasn’t the only one. Cal was barring his soul to me too.
My fingers dug into his silky black hair and I yanked his scalp. If I remembered correctly he liked it rough. Cal’s head fell back slightly as a deep sexy agonizing, yet pleasurable moan escaped his lips. I smiled at the perception of undeniable chemistry we had flowing through the both of us.
“I want to make you mine tonight.” He whispered before pushing me backwards.
He slammed me back into the wall and laced out fingers together. He raised our hands above my head and pressed his entire body against mine.
“I desire only you.”
Cal covered my neck with luscious kisses. Every passionate lick of his lips left me senseless with need.
I somehow undid our hands and pulled his head up crushing my eager lips against his once again. I bit down his bottom lip before playing and swirling with his lip ring in my mouth.
“You’re driving me crazy Callias,” I breathed into his lips.
He smirked and my personal walls began to crumble to ash. His hands gripped my thighs and he hoisted me up onto his torso like I weighed nothing. My butt somehow landed on a table and my legs snaked around his prefect muscular body.
There was so much heat. I was sure I was sweating buckets which was extremely embarrassing. His hands balled into fists in my hair and he pulled my head back. His eyes were glowing with lust but also something more. It scared me.
“Say my name,” he growled.
I waited a moment because watching him beg was far more sexually satisfying.
“Callias,” I seductively whispered. “Callias.” I pushed forward because he loosened my hair and I kissed his bottom lip, grazing his cold lip piercing.
“You have no idea the insanity you bestow upon me.” He devoured my mouth.
I was lifted off the table and I felt us moving. The air swooping around us was cooling down our sweat. I didn’t care to look where he was taking me. All I could function was the incredible feeling his touch aroused in me.
I was dropped onto a bed and the pressure of his massive body on top of mine was more coherent than ever. Cal’s butterfly kisses trailed down my neck lusciously over my breasts and down to my mid-section. My toes curled at the sweet indulgence of our bodies entwining into biss.
Once I heard the sound of my zipper I knew I had to stop. What was I doing? Why had I put myself in such a dangerous situation?
“Stop.” I detached myself from him but he didn’t halt his caresses. “Cal...”
Cal continued to massage my body and lavish my stomach with passionate kisses. I knew my body and I knew if I didn’t stop I would surrender to him completely. It was like he knew every part of my body and was reading me like a map. He knew where to touch me and how I liked to be kissed. My body wanted him; I couldn’t deny that. I was under his whim.
“Callias please...” I pushed his shoulders but he wouldn’t budge.
“Why?” He ravaged my exposed skin and sent sensational chills of pleasure coursing through every pulse in my system.
I cursed my body for betraying me. “Because this isn’t right.”
He rose but just barely. “How is this not right? We’re practically made for each other. You respond to my touch like a magnetic force. The desire we both possess is greater than any love story.”
I shook my head. Not like this. “I know. I feel it and I want you. In a sense at this moment I feel like I need you but not like this. I want you but I want you in the right way.”
He arched his sexy brow. “Right way?”
It only took a few seconds for he grasp my full meaning. He pushed himself of the bed in a feverish shamble. I could see the frustration he was fighting as he paced about the room. I sat up and folded my legs Indian style. I felt guilty. Not only did I lead him on but I suddenly felt pressured.
“You actually think there’s a possibility of that?” He was making me feel like a dumb little girl. “Do you honestly believe we could get married and live happily ever after? Wake up Laken. That will never be in the cards for us. I’m cursed. I’m one of the fallen. This isn’t a fairytale. So why wait till marriage?”
I could feel the waterworks building in the back of my eyes. “Because I will not live in sin. I’m stronger than that.”
His eyes finally locked onto mine. “Oh really? Two more seconds and I could of had you screaming in ecstasy.” Cal moved closer to the bed. “Give yourself to me.”
His voice was low and enchanting. He was trying to seduce me to fall into his demise.
“Callias please...I know it’s not normal but-”
“There is no other way for us. Don’t you see that. You will always be better than me. All I can offer you is corruption. There is no picket fence and children for us. I am a cursed. Eventually your skin will decay and I will be stuck.”
Was it really that ridiculous to imagine my life with a fallen angel? Was marriage far beyond reality for us? Was I asking for too much? My life was suddenly feeling extremely unfair.
“All we have is this moment. Our time is now.” He cupped my cheek as hot tears spilled from my eyes.
“I want more.” Was it really so much to ask for more than just sex?
Cal climbed onto the black silk sheets and cradled my face. “I can make love to you like no one else on this earth.” He leaned in and captured my lips in a feverish rapture. “Give yourself to me and I promise you won’t regret it.”
I hated myself and I was quickly hating him too. He was using me. He didn’t love me. He just wanted to make love to me. They were two very different things.
“But I will.”
Have you ever wanted something so bad that it hurt? I craved more than his attention. I wanted Cal’s love because I was a pathetic hopeless romantic. His eyes darkened with this new found realization but he wasn’t giving up.
“I can make you feel things you’ve never thought you could.”
What was the point? “They’d just be lies.”
Lust was just a shadow of love. I didn’t want the imitation. I wanted the real thing. He shook his head like I wasn’t getting it. What was he trying to say then?
“You have no idea.”
What was he talking about? What didn’t I get? Instead of continuing to explain his enigma Cal lowered his lingering soft lips onto mine. My heart literally stopped.
“I want to utterly possess you and combine our souls.”
Why was he tempting me so? Oh God, help me. I needed to resist him; to resist the urge to make love with him.
“Cal...no.” It was killing me to deny him, to deny what we could have.
I could see the hurt burning in his eyes but he quickly covered it up. Cal roughly pushed me back onto the bed. I was in random shock. I didn’t expect him to be so harsh. He gave me no time to react when his hands clawed at my jeans. He wasn’t going to stop.
“Cal!” I barely got out because the pressure of his body was holding me captive and caged.
“You want me and I’m going to prove it to you.”
I never denied that fact. I just didn’t want this to happen yet. I was battling with my own personal moral laws. Sex is the most intimate and sacred thing you could do with another being. God intended humans to enjoy sex as another form of bonding and love. It is a covenant. It’s meant to be a commitment between man and wife. That holy emphasis on “making love” had lost its meaning. But not to me.
“No,” I shoved him but it didn’t do anything.
“You love me.” He chanted into my ear.
Was he taunting me, mocking me to submission? Because it wasn’t working.
He silenced me with a rough kiss. “Don’t try and deny it Laken. I can see it every time you look at me. Your soul is bared and your heart is mine for the taking.”
I jabbed my knee into his rib but not even that could satisfy the burning itch to hurt him for the pain he was purposely inflicting on me. He was using my feelings to get what he wanted from me in my vulnerable state. He didn’t really care about me.
“You’re an asshole.” I cried.
“I’m only trying to fulfill what we obviously both want. Let me make your fantasy come true.”
“No,” my voice got groggy as a few tears streamed down my face. “This isn’t what I want. And if you weren’t such a selfish monster you’d realize that all I’d ever what from you is your heart in return.”
His eyes lost their glossiness as realization finally processed through his mind. Cal quickly removed himself from me being cautious not to physically hurt me anymore than he already did. His fingers clawed into his thick black hair like he wanted to yank every strand out.
“I’m sorry.” He avoided my gaze entirely because, I was guessing, he was ashamed. “You and I, Laken; it’s just a horrible joke God is playing on us. We’re denied the joys of the flesh. Don’t you see. We can never be together.”
I couldn’t believe this. “You’re giving up? You can’t deny you don’t feel something for me. Life is not easy. Every day we choose because we have the ability to. Am I not worth a fight?”
He groaned. “You’re pure Laken. Our union will tip the balance of good and evil. They will be after us; demons and angels.”
At least he wasn’t denying the chemistry we had. “My life has always been in jeopardy and probably will always be.”
“I’m not the guy for you. I’m not. I’m not that prince, or knight in shining armor you dreamt about as a child.” It sounded to me like he was trying to convince himself of that as well. “I’m the guy you find when you’re looking for a good time.”
I knew he wasn’t the relationship kind of guy. I knew all of this from the beginning yet I still couldn’t guard my heart from being broken. I wasn’t even sure why I had such strong feelings for him. He almost killed me for goodness sakes. I was just insane. I had to be.
I turned, placing my head down and squeezing his pillow into my cheek. It smelt like him, Irish soap and something else I couldn’t depict. I didn’t want him to witness anymore of my tears.
“You’re that guy for a lot of girls then?” Did I really want to know?
Thinking about other girls sleeping with him in the bed I was laying in at this very moment made my stomach quench into twisted, painful knots.
“Yes.” He answered.
He was better off not saying anything. How could I be so stupid? This was such a horrible day.
“You sleep here tonight. I’ll take the couch.”
A few seconds later I heard the door close. I forced myself not to cry about it. I was too old to cry over boys. Especially ones I knew were bad ones from the start. I did this to myself. Yet I had to wonder. Was God just playing some sick joke? How could these feelings bestowed upon me not mean anything?
Our paths crossed for a reason. Something was intended to happen. I just needed to figure out what.