This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
Beneath every loving girlfriend is a typical woman. For all you men out there, brace yourself! While we’re compassionate beings making sure our girlfriends are okay and on their way, they’ve moved on and closed off their hearts. They’re already craving new cock. They’re not the same person once they’ve checked out. Notice the signs and jump ship before they do! It’s on fire and they’ll leave you on it to burn alive while they’ve prepped a life boat to glide away on a thick vessel dinghy between their parted labia canyon over an ocean of cum while another man carries them on their way. Or, it could be in the form of a job opportunity. But they’ll never tell you officially because they still rely on you whether emotionally, financially, or legally. They’re heartless in their actions regardless of their intentions because it’s about self-preservation. When you’ve broken up, don’t be fooled by their “check-ins” or whatever.
I make sure I viciously T-Rex my fingers into quotations during my supercilious diatribe and continue,
It’ll lift you momentarily, but it’s not their concern to really know if you’re okay. It’s a formality to keep us “calm” while we’re disintegrating inside. Watch out for the signs beforehand so it doesn’t come to this. She changed her hair color, dyed it blonde. She started taking mad Pilates to tone her already firm curvy figure. She wanted to pursue a new career direction. She decided on grad school and then after meeting some new colleagues, she wanted to hang out with her friends all on her own, exclusively. She will say, “Trust her.” Of COURSE she has a right to hang out with her friends! And that’s all valid! Change is good. You have to trust, adapt, and even better than support, take an interest. Never suffocate or accuse.
I bargain with my spectators,
These are just the first stages and usually nothing has happened. She’ll just use our reactions as a pretext to detach further from you. But these are the signs of her discontent with life and probably more specifically, YOU! You can self-reflect on how you can improve yourself to improve the relationship or realize, that self-improvement can take place on your own after you jump ship, because she ain’t gonna make the same effort! All these changes she makes are signs she has planned or is planning an exit strategy. Notice,
I shout kinetically,
Women scold us for checking out other girls but they are constantly looking for a better situation. She probably already has another guy in mind, one from her vast network of “friends” or from a group that follows her. These other guys, vultures really, come off as confident to her based on how, in contrast, we are panicking in paranoia. She’s got a list or backlog of potential suitors to fill her up after she’s bounced. That’s why they move on so much faster, while we’re devastated and plunge into obscurity. So, pull the trigger first! Out draw the bitch when you’re ready. Leave her guessing. Let her know how it feels to struggle for once!
Expand your network in preparation for the looming break-up. You’ll need the upper hand because from here on out, until you move on, you’ll be in competition with her for who has the better life, and who found someone first. And even if you feel for her, this is the best thing for you and her. This proves your dissatisfaction with her inaccessibility. By taking this action you develop your own self-worth by showing yourself respect and preserving your dignity. Think about what I said.
I stop and emphasize the following point with my right index finger lifted out and lodged upward to the heavens. If I legally could, I’d unzip my pants and hold my cock to tell them, RESPECT IT! But there is a greater lesson to deliver. I say as sternly as possible,
The relationship is over when a girl is through unraveling her man. What could possibly catch her more off-guard than what she’ll think was a premature, pre-emptive break-up? Get your balls back, gentlemen! Find your identity and take your power back by realizing every last fucking one of them will do this to you if they have the chance and motivation. They’re not “little and defenseless”!
I deride mockingly.
So what if we have the equipment to plug them up and drop off our seed? Or whatever psychological strength society believes in that gives us some sort of Sex-related authority or advantage. They are the stronger gender because of their ability to shut down, shut us off, and peace out completely. Learn it fellas! Learn it well!
“Mr. Jeremy, I thought today we were going to plant legumes and Chesterblooms!”
Their faces are so innocent. That’s why I have to inform them when they’re young. The job market is a goddamned lottery, and mostly fixed for her pleasure. So, here I am, while the best positions are reserved for undocumented ex-girlfriends, I’m here passing out worksheets on legume integration and nitrogen fixation in an under-funded after-school program for low-income kids of color. The fat one whose lone mother parent is too lazy to walk this little shit to a park, because his father fled a trumped up - accidentally spilled his mall soda on an officer’s uniform while getting his balls crunched by a slave-catching Billy club assault charge - probably feeds him Cheetos for dinner, is hungry to have his question answered,
You mean Checkerblooms? Yeah, you think your mom would love those? Keep it up and I’ve got a Mexican Fan Palm with your garden’s name on it! I figure all your dads ran out on you so who else is going to teach you this shit? Relationships are simply a struggle between two people. Now find your fucking troughs!
As you can tell, I’ve mastered my emotions.
Happiness by Elliot Smith plays
jaslynnash2015: I absolutely loved the story from beginning to end and I loved following each of the characters throughout their journey! Very captivating although there were a few grammar errors, but very captivating still! Can't wait for book 2!
Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...
abygtan: Aside from the fact the book mentioned my bae percy this book is a whats-not-to-like kind of book I love the sass in this and the uniqueness it's just the type of book that keeps you crawling for more seriously I love this book go and check it out
Jaslyn: I loved reading this so much!! The transformation of Nina's self-esteem was incredible to read, and while I was rooting for Parker halfway through, I was very satisfied when Harrison and Nina finally got everything straight. The side characters were adorable - I especially loved Anna, Richel, Mic...
Rebeccaseal: This was an almost perfect story that I would recommend to anyone. The only thing I would work on is painting a more realistic picture of Haiathiel. Somehow the environment seemed limited, and the land itself a bit unfinished. This can be solved simply by added descriptions to people and places. ...
MelanyFrey: This is a contemporary “teenage” (yet not only “teenage”) story that covers a lot of important topics, such as child abuse, peer pressure etc. The story is complex and deep, yet a little predictable. You did a great characterization, so that, from the beginning of the story, I was familiar with t...
summerstone: Seriously this is one of the best books I've ever read. The plot is intriguing, I love the narrative style. Its very descriptive and unique, with minimal cliches. It makes for a great read and the sequels are amazing. Totally worth reading. ^^ That's me trying to be professional. But in all hones...
Sandra Estrada: I loved every minute of it and I thank my lucky stars that brought me to the story, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, plot twist after plot twist but I never got tired of them. Abby and Kade's story is a hard one to understand but once you're submerged in their story and love, you can't help but...
FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"
Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."