Dance class finished about an hour ago and currently I'm sitting on the couch opposite to Hudson.
I started playing with my hair since, well, you know, it's shorter.
"Hey, can chlorine really dissolve a body?" Hugh asked as he looked up at the rest of us from his phone.
"Well, to be fair, highly acidic chlorine causes rash or it can burn your skin. When I say 'burn', I mean like your skin burning off slowly. But it will take a long, long time to disintegrate a whole human body. There will remains," I explained.
They all looked at me jaw-dropped for a second before Hudson started speaking.
"But there are other acids that you can use to get rid of a body."
"Like maybe sodium hydroxide or-"
"Potassium hydroxide. Both are commonly known as lye."
"Yeah, we could order it online or just go to the dry-cleaner's store to pick it up. But we might need more than just a few bottles because they use the diluted version."
"Mhm, then we need to boil it till at least 300 hundred degrees so it actually works therefore the vessel you're using must be quite large and should have great quality."
"Yeah, but there will still be small remains. The bones and stuff."
"I know. There are other stronger acids but they're tightly monitored since they can be used to make bombs."
"Hey, maybe we can just crush the remaining bones and stuff so they turn into dust. Then all we have to do is get rid of that."
"See, we've got the ways to dispose the bodies successfully but-"
"I'm sorry, 'bodies'? As in plural?" Jeremey's eyes widened.
"Shut up. But we have to be extremely careful during the actual murder so that we don't get caught."
"Yeah, we need to be careful to not leave any kinds of physical evidence. No fingerprints, hair, nails, blood or even sweat. Basically nothing that comes from our body."
"So, maximum covering up, thick gloves and also be careful not to let the victim scratch us unless we're using the acid method."
"Right. So, for the perfect murder, we must prove Locard's exchange principle false. Which basically means we have to erase all sorts of physical evidence."
"Like, if you get a bus ticket to go to the location, then that needs to be gone. Same goes for bills, receipts and all that stuff."
"Oh, and use cash when you're buying anything near that location or anything to conduct the murder."
"Plus, leave our phones and ATM cards at home before coming to that location."
"Or better, we could get a person that you trust a lot, involved and they could walk around with your devices, doing what you normally do and go to places that you go to, so, in case you're suspected and they try to trace your location, you'll be off the hook."
The room was dead silent (pun intended) and everyone else was carefully listening to every word that came out of our mouths.
"Um, what if you're suspected and the police took you in custody?" Serene asked. Isn't she the smart one? She's supposed to know common stuff like this.
"Well, there are a lot of ways it could go," I chuckled.
"The worst one is probably the 'bad cop' way."
"Yeah, they unplug the CCTV cameras, swivel their chairs to make a dramatic intro, walk around you but look at you observantly and when you least expect it, they somehow hit you and, well, you know the rest. They'll probably just beat the confession out of you or if you wanna be stubborn, you will probably spent a few days in the hospital or die. In my opinion, I'd chose death. Next, we have guilt trap."
"Try murdering people with no family so that this wouldn't work on you. The police would talk about how the victim had a ill wife and three children who had pneumonia, cancer or just one of the classic illnesses."
"Then there's the polygraph test. But a bit more simply, the lie detectors. Now, these can be beaten but only if you make your responses erratic. I don't want to get into too much detail but try thinking of sexually exciting imagery when you're being interrogated."
"What if the person's asexual?" Jeremy asked.
"Well then," Hudson sighed. "I guess they're screwed."
"You see," I started. "There's a pun in that last sentence which includes the word 'screwed'. Should I go on?"
"Please don't." Hudson looked like he was in physical pain.
"Only because you said please," I smiled sickly.
"Anyways, how do you two know all of this?" Finn asked.
"We watch a lot of documentaries," Hudson and I both said at the same time. They looked at us weirdly for a second but then calmed down.
"Good, good," Maya sighed.
"For a second I thought we were living with murderers," Lacey huffed. Ouch.
"Definitely not that," I chuckled. I need to be more careful...
A/N: IT'S A FUCKING JOKE. DON'T GO AROUND KILLING PEOPLE WITH THESE, OK? I AIN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR NOTHING.
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