This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
Comb, comb, comb your hair.Your smiling face is a reflection beyond. Mother’s voice echoes, intimidating, “Shin, please, stop disentangling your hair! It’s irritating. It’s bald.”
“Mom!” you replied, angry as you comb those tiny hair.
Wind, wind, it feels ominous. Your stomach’s inside scrambles, you’re bowel loses control. Your face deforms salty.
Fast, fast—run outside the house. Go, and head to the toilet and open the door. Shhh... don’t speak, don’t be shock, don’t yell; if that curling thing will awake, it will bite your life.
Way back to the kitchen— “Mom. There’s a snake near the faucet’s pipe,” you said. You’re scared. Your buttocks sway with bowel’s distortion.
Whooshing, as she rakes and rakes the vegetables inside the frying fan. Whoooosh, whoooshing... “Where’s your father?”
“He isn’t around.”
“Ask your uncle then.”
“(Whine) Uncle, uncle, there’s a snake near the faucet in the toilet.”
“Has green skin, but red eyes.”
“Jeez, ignore it. It won’t bite.”
Nooo! You cry and cry, and cry.
Be brave. Be brave. Just cry, hum as you cry.
Set above the toilet’s bowl.
See? It isn’t awake.
Please, don’t hesitate. Do it, your body must do.
Oh, it moves. It sways. It awakes. You cry with salty smile. Oh, its head moves. It crawls. It heads to the faucet.
Run! You run!
“(Whine) uncle, uncle, the snake is moving. I can’t poo!”
“Jeez, are you not a man? If its tail isn’t red, you’re safe.”
Smile, and cry. Bitterly smile.
Open the door, oh the snake is behind the bowl. Endure, endure it. Become a man. Slowly set back. Stop! It moves. Oh, it settles. Slowly, slowly set back. Now do, what your body must do... Oh, it moves... oh, it settles. Oh, it moves.. oh, it settles.
Its eyes, its glistering red eyes, Its eyes, its glistering-!
Oh, its tail is red. Flush the bowl, run!
Whine and whine, “Uncle, uncle, (whine), its tail is red.”
Brave as he is. Manly as he is. He arms with a bolo knife. He grabs the snake’s neck and he smashes it head. He smashes and smashes, until it’s dead.
He throws it to the forest. ”I feel sorry with the snake, it didn’t do bad thing,” your uncle said. You’re guilty. “Kid, if it’ll rain; that snake will come alive and take revenge.” You’re afraid, you’re paling. “Just kidding.”
“Maaa!” You whine and whine. Your uncle now is helpless.
Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...
Shayleen Seiberg: See, I wasn't sure if I'd like this story. But it turned out extremely well. It kept me interested the whole entire time. The only thing wrong with it is there are multiple grammatical errors. Not punctuation wise, but spelling wise and word placement wise. But overall, I loved the book.
Beloved Q Medina: At first I figured it was another genre fiction book and didn't have any expectations, but by the first few chapters I found myself engrossed in Sid's journey. Some say that genre fiction is predictable, or not as substantial as literary fiction, but this novel was anything but that. I found myse...
Deleted User: (A review in progress). I like this. It's sparse, gritty and atmospheric - reminiscent of the classic Golden Age of American detective fiction of the Thirties. I've only read the beginning, but I'll definitely be back. This writer knows their stuff and has done their homework on detective work. T...
Juanita Dunn Houston: I really liked the story. It made me laugh out and at times made me angry at Paul, the ex and the attorney as it was supposed to do. The Irish words confused me a little and I had to look up how to pronounce the main characters name but other than that, it was a good story. I hope there will be a...
Alex Rushmer: I just want to say that the writing in this is amazing! I read the first couple chapters and was absolutely drawn in by it, The way you use first person in this story is extremely engaging and does wonders with your character development. I immediately had a picture of the characters and plotline...
Rebeccaseal: This was an almost perfect story that I would recommend to anyone. The only thing I would work on is painting a more realistic picture of Haiathiel. Somehow the environment seemed limited, and the land itself a bit unfinished. This can be solved simply by added descriptions to people and places. ...
drainwater411: such a great read for me. I loved how you had to figure out who everyone was and kind of got a sense of who they were throughout the book instead of just telling all about the characters in the beginning, it helped you really get to know them and grow a connection with them. the relationships bet...
JulieJeanette: I'm only on chapter nine, but so far I am loving this story!. I am on pins and needles hoping that they find good men in their lives by the end. I am American and so the British tone and lingo ('knickers,' 'sod it' ) of the book is very appealing. I had to find out how much '12 stone' was by goog...
FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"
Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."