This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
Comb, comb, comb your hair.Your smiling face is a reflection beyond. Mother’s voice echoes, intimidating, “Shin, please, stop disentangling your hair! It’s irritating. It’s bald.”
“Mom!” you replied, angry as you comb those tiny hair.
Wind, wind, it feels ominous. Your stomach’s inside scrambles, you’re bowel loses control. Your face deforms salty.
Fast, fast—run outside the house. Go, and head to the toilet and open the door. Shhh... don’t speak, don’t be shock, don’t yell; if that curling thing will awake, it will bite your life.
Way back to the kitchen— “Mom. There’s a snake near the faucet’s pipe,” you said. You’re scared. Your buttocks sway with bowel’s distortion.
Whooshing, as she rakes and rakes the vegetables inside the frying fan. Whoooosh, whoooshing... “Where’s your father?”
“He isn’t around.”
“Ask your uncle then.”
“(Whine) Uncle, uncle, there’s a snake near the faucet in the toilet.”
“Has green skin, but red eyes.”
“Jeez, ignore it. It won’t bite.”
Nooo! You cry and cry, and cry.
Be brave. Be brave. Just cry, hum as you cry.
Set above the toilet’s bowl.
See? It isn’t awake.
Please, don’t hesitate. Do it, your body must do.
Oh, it moves. It sways. It awakes. You cry with salty smile. Oh, its head moves. It crawls. It heads to the faucet.
Run! You run!
“(Whine) uncle, uncle, the snake is moving. I can’t poo!”
“Jeez, are you not a man? If its tail isn’t red, you’re safe.”
Smile, and cry. Bitterly smile.
Open the door, oh the snake is behind the bowl. Endure, endure it. Become a man. Slowly set back. Stop! It moves. Oh, it settles. Slowly, slowly set back. Now do, what your body must do... Oh, it moves... oh, it settles. Oh, it moves.. oh, it settles.
Its eyes, its glistering red eyes, Its eyes, its glistering-!
Oh, its tail is red. Flush the bowl, run!
Whine and whine, “Uncle, uncle, (whine), its tail is red.”
Brave as he is. Manly as he is. He arms with a bolo knife. He grabs the snake’s neck and he smashes it head. He smashes and smashes, until it’s dead.
He throws it to the forest. ”I feel sorry with the snake, it didn’t do bad thing,” your uncle said. You’re guilty. “Kid, if it’ll rain; that snake will come alive and take revenge.” You’re afraid, you’re paling. “Just kidding.”
“Maaa!” You whine and whine. Your uncle now is helpless.
Alex Rushmer: Although I don't know the story of the Phantom of the Opera, I really enjoyed this story. The writing was very evocative, and it really put a picture of time and setting in my mind. The voice of the story really added to the character development. The idea of the time travelling -- or whatever re...
Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...
Alex Rushmer: I like the intrigue that you introduce from the very beginning of the story. The idea of the girl waking up in the alley with no memory of how she got there and with injuries is very interesting. It was very well done. There were a lot of grammatical errors that need to be fixed though. I think t...
Kiz16: After a truly shocking start to the story, I found the style and content slowed down as the author introduced a varied group of characters who I thought were fleshed out very well. After a slow couple of chapters, I found this story difficult to leave with the tension growing within the house. Yo...
Sinhala-Kella (aka Scandal Mania): Hey Fazio, I LOVED your story! The bus - I don't watch Grey's but that was vividly shocking! And the last paragraph where you said April was engaged to one man but rushed in to save another. It was sooo cute the way Jackson won April back - there were so many lovely bits - 'Shonda' (LOL!).You nee...
Ben Gauger: Kudos go to wordworrywill, author of Kings and Things, an otherwise imaginative tale set against the trappings of the royal set, but then again I don't imagine there'd be many authors who invoked the names of Oprah Winfrey, Vladimir Putin, Jeff Bezos, Beyonce and Steven Spielberg, As for the plot...
Shelley Miller: The ideas and the set up and this are amazing! The feel of the story goes from science fiction to horror to suspense all in a big, thrilling ball. I really like your character so far and her powers and the idea of the ark being a person. The world is intense and gritty and clever as well. While a...
Sarah_M_G: This story was truly gripping from start to finish. The way the author used Scottish dialect throughout the novel really helped to put you in he in the place where it was all happening. Every character was well described and thought out. How they all fitted together really worked and loved how t...
Ben Gauger: Kudos to Dhira Vidhea, author of Boy Who Broke In My Window, an otherwise engaging tale of love and acceptance of the quirkiest of individuals, whose overall conception of the plot is spot-on and whose writing style is impeccable and as for her writing skills they are the best I've ever seen, tho...
FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"
Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."