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Dude... That's Not A Guy

By Beklet All Rights Reserved ©

Drama / Humor


Soraya's a girl that hasn't had the best of lives, bouncing from foster home to foster home. She also has a fear of touching people, ever since the... incident. Ashton's the guy that has it all, friends, popularity and a great family. What happens when these two are thrown together in one big mess we call life? (This book was c-written with my friend, I take Soraya's point of view while she writes Ashton's.) **Disclaimer** This book features the names of real baseball teams and locations, however, the actions of the characters are in no way related to real life dynamics. Each character is individually created for the purpose of fiction.


Ashton’s POV:

“Ashton Honey, time to wake up!” a distant voice attempted to break me from my sleep but I was having none of it as I turned and rolled over deeper into my bed, enjoying the warmth that enveloped me.

“Ashton!” The voice came back louder a few minutes later and I groaned into my pillow, pulling it over my head to stop the noise, because yes in my sleep deprived state that was going to work. And guess what? It did.

Well at least until a large weight suddenly landed on top of my body, or should I say two little ones.

All the air whooshed out of my lungs and shit, what the hell was stepping on my internal organs? I need those and wow small little pointy feet were not how I imagined waking up this morning. Loud giggling pierced my eardrums and my eyes shot open wide to see my two younger sisters, Georgia and Jacqueline, using me and my bed as though it were a trampoline. They continued to laugh their heads off like the little nutters they were until they suddenly noticed I was awake and that’s when I realised my moment of peace was well and truly ruined.

“He’s’ awake!”

“Ashy! Get up”

“You’re so lazy!”


Neither of them ceasing to stop their bouncing even as they spoke and when one of them nearly stepped on an area I would much rather keep I decided it was enough. I lunged up out of bed, pulling both of them into my arms and tickling them relentlessly as they struggled to get away, laughing insanely as they kicked and screamed at me.

“Surrender!” I shouted through my own laughter.

“Never!” they both struggled to get out, hair sticking to their faces and their cheeks rosey from laughing so hard.

“Sandy! Help!” One of them suddenly called, I’m really not sure which, I mean it’s hard enough sometimes that they both look and sound the same, but when they are both laughing and struggling out of my hold it is practically impossible to tell who the saboteur was.

A loud barking suddenly echoed throughout the house, followed by loud thudding footsteps running down the hallway. My eyes widened and I abruptly released the girls, dropping them down on my bed and making a break for the bathroom door.

But alas I was too late and my large golden retriever, Sandy, came barreling into the room, barking wildly and excitedly as she singled me out. Seconds later her body was flying through the air and she landed in a slobbering mess on my chest knocking us both to the ground, I landed with an ‘ompf’ and a groan.

George and Jacques found the situation unbearably hilarious as they both rolled around on my bed, having failed to stop laughing ever since I was rudely awakened a few minutes ago.

A sudden click and camera flash went off and I pushed Sandy off of me to see my mum standing beside my bedroom door, camera in hand and a giant smile on her face.

“Hey, no fair! How come you let them attack me and just stand there taking photos?” I exclaimed, leveling an accusing finger at her but she just laughed and flitted out of the room. I sighed, but a smile appeared on my face as I shook my head, dislodging Sandy to continue making my way to the bathroom, in hopes to prepare myself for the disaster that is high school.

It was nearing the middle of the school year and it was nice to have the twins laughing. We had all been in a pretty bad state ever since my father died last year and were all slowly attempting to re-adjusting to life as it was.And moments like these didn’t happen as much as they used to. But it was good to hear the twins laughing again, although, I just wish my other sister Janice would join in every once in a while. She had taken it pretty hard when dad left.

I sighed once again and shut the door to the bathroom behind me, glancing at my reflection in the mirror with an amused grin; my brown hair was a mess, still mussed up from sleep and my face was slightly red from laughing earlier.

Oh, how I loathed waking up in the morning. But without another thought I pulled a face at myself and turned to get ready for my day.

I’d be damned if I said those boobs weren’t attractive.

The girl in front of me, Candy, Candice...Clarice something, I couldn’t remember her name right this second and could you blame me really? Her boobs were practically shoved up to her neck in the tight cleavage shirt that girls seem to fancy wearing and she had her hand on my arm. How did she expect me to remember her name when I kept getting distracted?

“So Ashton...“She purred out in an attempt to be sexy I think, it didn’t really work but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because seriously, the rack on this one, “How would you like to come to a party at mine this weekend?” she asked, batting her makeup covered eyelashes at me.

“Sounds like a plan” I replied with a smirk, who didn’t like parties? Exactly no one, “Can I bring my mates?” I asked although the answer was obvious, I was popular, meaning my friends were too and what was a party without the popular crowd? Lame is the answer.

“Of course!” she chirped happily, her shrill voice hurting my ears and I took this chance to remove her hand from my arm, bringing it gently up to my lips and placing a kiss on her hand,

“Until then Kelly” I said with a wink that made her practically melt, and then I dropped her hand before she could come up with something else to say and began walking away.

“Hey! My names April!” she called just before I was out of view,

“Oh damn.” I laughed to myself, quickly disappeared into the crowd before she could say anymore.

“Close one man.” My friend Alistair stated, coming up beside me and slapping his arm down on my shoulder with a smile that I returned with a smirk, the left side of my mouth quirking upwards.

“Tell me about it.” I laughed,reaching into my locker to grab my books and backpack holding them haphazardly in my arms before just giving up altogether and shoving it all back into my locker. Screw it I will just get a piece of paper and a pen off someone in class.

“So what did what’s-her-name want?” Alistair asked leaning against the wall next to me with an eyebrow raised in question,

“Katie’s throwing a party and we’re all invited.” I stated, her name still elusive as I shut my locker and we both made our way down the hall,

“Awesome, it had better be a good party, not like the last one we went to, that was shit”

“Hey now blame that on Rodney, he got us invited not me” we both laughed and walked into our first-period, History.

“Bitch you better run!” Alistair shouted and I let out a laugh as I slid over the top of one of the desks coming to a stop just before the window.

“You’ll never catch me!” I screamed back victoriously before slipping the latch on the window open and climbing through the opening just as he pushed a freshman out of his way. My feet landed on the grass a few feet below and I was off sprinting across the oval with my laughter echoing in the air.

Footsteps thundered behind me and I must have been laughing too much to keep my pace up because the next second I was being hit by a truck.

“Urg, get your fat arse off of me” I exclaimed as I shoved Alistair off of me, he landed with a thud and I flopped onto my back with a pained groan. “Dude you weigh like a tonne!”

“It’s all muscle baby!” he shouted proudly thumping a fist on his chest, I let out an amused scoff,

“Sure sure, keep telling yourself that one” I mocked

“Hey now, your just jealous of these abs” And with that he promptly pulled up his shirt to show off his abdominal muscles with sexual body rolls and I burst out laughing once again.

“Bro, you know I have awesome abs don’t even kid yourself”

“Alistair! Pull down your shirt, that is indecent behavior and is not tolerated at this school” a sudden scolding voice said and we both turned our head to see the prude of a teacher - Mrs. Hagglebacon, standing with her hands on her hips and her elderly face shaped into a scowl.

“Come on now Mrs, no one’s around” Alistair pointed out, raising his shirt higher and continuing his promiscuous movements with a wink that caused the English teacher to turn a shade of red.

“It is not a matter of whether someone is around to see you, you are not to expose yourself on school grounds.” her tone was sharp and her glare sharper as she leveled a finger at Alistair in anger, “And I do not appreciate you back chatting me boy”

“But-” he started only to be rudely cut off,

“No buts, I said no back chatting and for that you will get a detention.”

“Oh give me a break I wasn’t doing anything.” Alistair exclaimed throwing his hands in the air for emphasis but abruptly lowered them upon seeing the pointed look he was receiving from the teacher. It was around then that I decided it was probably my time to swoop in and save my friend from trouble.

“Mrs Bacon - I mean Hagglebacon,” I started with a wince, “He didn’t mean any harm by it, I mean isn’t this school supposed to encourage expression ? Is removing clothing not a form of expression? An ancient form of art, passed down by generations of human culture. Just look at the Mayans or the South Africans. Do you really want to stifle his creativity?”

“Detention Mr. Klarence.” Well then.

After that Mrs. Hagglebacon began walking away with a disapproving head shake, cheeks pink and a scowl upon her face.

The second she was out of view Alistair lost it completely, his laughter shaking his shoulders and bring tears to his eyes,

“Mrs ... Bacon...really? What a great start” He managed to struggle out before once again collapsing into a laughing mess, soon followed be myself.

By the time we had recovered ourselves my phone had gone off with a text message from Rodney, asking where we were and study hall was minutes away from ending.

“We had better get back” I stated as I moved to stand and stretched my arms upwards, enjoying the cracks that coincided with the movement.

“Urg, no, I don’t want to do math’s” Alistair whined, but he to stood up.

“Oh sucker, I have Geography, total bludge lesson” I smirked as we began making our way back across the oval to where we had left out bags, Alistair mumbling incoherently to himself, something along the lines of,

“I hate maths...” and “stupid fucking teachers”

The rest of the day went by relatively plainly after that and soon enough I was picking my sisters up from their daycare.

“Ashy! You’re here!” Jacqueline shouted excitedly and rushed towards me, latching herself onto my leg.

“Hey Jacques” I grinned bending down to pick her up, she giggled and grabbed onto my neck to keep herself from falling, despite the fact that I would never drop her.

“You’re late.” The oldest of my sisters, Janice, spoke up and I turned to see her sitting on a bench with Georgia sleeping on her lap. Janice was only sixteen, but goes to a specialised english school, so she usually just walks here after school to help me take the twins home.

“Hey it's only by like two minutes, that’s hardly considered late” I defended with a smile, and made my way over to the two of them, still holding Jacqueline on my arm. Janice simply nodded her head in response, her lips not tilting into a smile even as I pulled a face at her; scrunching my nose upwards and squinting my eyes.

I sighed inwardly and would have dropped my own smile if it wasn’t for the twins being around. I was really worried about Janice, she used to be always smiling and laughing, running around, playing with the girls or her friends, but now it was like she just didn’t want to do anything but lock herself in her room.

“How long has she been asleep?” I asked gesturing to Georgia with my free hand,

“A little while” Janice replied, running a hand through her little sister's curly brown hair,

“Hey Jacques, want a piggy back ride?” I asked and upon receiving an excited nod I gently placed her on the bench next to Janice and Georgia and bent down so she could climb onto my back, “Okay now hold on tight, I’m gonna pick up your sister now.” I instructed, immediately feeling her little arms tighten around my neck in response and I let out a small chuckle as Janice helped me maneuver Georgia into my arms without waking her.

It took me a few seconds to get the balance between the two girls right and then we were off walking down the street, Janice carrying the girl’s bags and her own. We walked in relative silence, only broken by Jacqueline’s laughter every now and then and eventually we arrived at the house.

The second we were inside I pretended to sigh in relief and flopped backwards onto the couch, careful to avoid squishing Jacques too much and making sure not to jostle Georgia - who by the way I am sure could sleep through an earthquake,

“Good god you guys weigh a tonne, I think my back is breaking,” I exclaimed over-dramatically, draping an arm across my forehead, with another suffering sound.

“Hey! You’re the one squishing me you big fatty!” Jacqueline argued, shoving at my shoulder with her little arms as proof and I just laughed as I sat up.

“That’s a bit mean.” I fake pouted and she burst out giggling, “Shhhh, don’t wake up your sister.” I whispered making the universal shooshing motion with my hand before standing up with Georgia in my arms, “I think I’m gonna go put her in bed.” and with that Jacqueline ran ahead of me and bounded up the stairs.

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