Bad News is Good News
“Hello and welcome back to Newsflash on Hero Watch Network. I’m Buck Neighkid—”
“And I’m Liga Leedum—”
“And you’re joining us now for an exciting development in the world of slightly extraordinary beings. Reports have it that a superpowered showdown of epic proportion is underway at the Grand Traverse Regional Bank, where Acme’s most feared villain and most famed hero are duking it out in a battle that is sure to become one for the history books.”
“That’s right, Buck. Eyewitness accounts say that resident ditzy do-gooder The Oops Avenger is on scene, locked in a death-struggle for the very lifeblood of this nation with the puppy-eyed pain-in-the-neck herself, Little Angel. We go now to Nev Urbanlade for their profile in power. Nev?”
“Thank you, Liga. HWN viewers will know Jennica Auburn—aka Little Angel—as ‘the villain who gets away with everything,’ as well as the reason why the FDIC no longer insures banks in the Grand Traverse area. With just a single word ‘sorry’ or even a twinkling of her eye, this pint-sized penny-snatcher is instantly forgiven for whatever crime she is in the process of committing. Her hobbies include: sticking it to the man, inspiring anarchy, and playing Animal Crossing with her friends.
“Squaring off against her, we have everybody’s favorite accident, The Oops Avenger. Virginia ‘Ginny’ Yelloise was always a klutzy character, even before she got her powers, but by a poetic twist of fate, her most embarrassing weakness has become her greatest strength. With a strong moral compass and a mind’s eye keen on comedically inclined comeuppance, this teenaged crime-fighter has the power to stop any wrong-doing through absolutely no intention of her own. When she sees bad, good just sort of happens. Back to you, Liga.”
“Thanks, Nev. Truly this is a match made by the gods of entertainment themselves. On the side of good, weighing in at only thirteen-years old, the unstoppable force. And on the side of evil, boasting twin ponytails and a B+ in gym class, the immovable object. What will be the outcome? Who will win? And will I lose my life savings to that adorable little bank robber? All we can do is watch….”