Good Day Guide for Resurrected

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Brought to life without any warning? Do you want to start a good day now that you have to breathe air again, but you don't know where to start? Do not worry, peasant, we got you covered. Me, Great and Outstanding Duke, and my loyal scribe Apellai peaked at numerous worlds and have a story from one of them just for you. Peer at unlucky resurrector Gleb and lucky resurrected Grigori as they embark on journey for good day with absolutely trustworthy '20 steps to make day good' list, source: the Internet. Know how to win debates with tea, how to eat healthy fast food, how to rebuild relationship with family through fake religion and many more, because that is what will make your day good. Join them! (All stunts performed by idiots. Do not repeat at home, I repeat – do not repeat)

Age Rating:

Step 0: Introducing

To fully comprehend what happens in this story readers required to remember five characters. By a lucky coincidence, this people live in one country (who would thought), in one city (sometimes it is happens) and in the same area (of course) and same apartment building (obviously). They all shoulder a heavy burden of future adventures, unexpected events, betrayals and revelations about unexpected future eventful betrayals, that will change the world in three years at 1:15 PM Moscow time.

The first of critically important people, read carefully, I’ll show them in bold, is Fedor Nyechekave, genius engineer. He spent last fifteen years of his life sleeping less than three hours per day in struggle to create eternal engine, so he can attach it to himself and stop sleep altogether.

The second one is Ivan Blavi, inspired composer and houseplants lover. He cares deeply about his leafy friends, so he can sacrifice them in Friday’s ritual that includes rice paper and fire from the stove.

The third one is [][][][][][] [][][][][][][][], mathematician.

The fourth is Gleb Kurusheyivich, self-proclaimed great scientist, who by lucky coincidence almost discovered the secret of human resurrection.

“Wait, what?”

Yes, this unremarkable, unknown, untalented, not charismatic man in lilac lab coat, which origin he refuses to share.

“Stop!” said Gleb, standing beside his almost finished apparatus. “First of all, who are you? Second, what’s wrong with the third guy? And what’s 'human resurrection'? My invention--”

And fifth, possibly-- no, definitely the most important member of this story is Grigori Promyana, another habitat of this place.

“Nonsense, there’s no one like that.”

Who is ready to cross heaven’s gates and return to living lands.

“God, what I got myself into?”

In resurrection, you reading what I’m saying?


Kurusheyivich didn’t know that at the moment his words left his mouth, so that they can reach someone’s ears, different thing reached his neighbor from above. Fedor succumbed to social norms (he refused to believe that healthy sleep is a biological norm) and took five minute break. He rested his head on prototype of eternal engine, which have far going consequences, to be precise, to his neighbor from above Ivan. Blavi was extraordinary musician and extra disdainful to noise standards in residential buildings. He simply knew that his music is not a noise, despite everyone trying to convince him otherwise. Fedor tried harder than anyone. They both never found out how much in common they have with shared dislike to society, norms and canapés that arrogantly consider themselves food.

Ivan found his lighter and with it an inspiration. He started to play music without his might-be-friend-enemy intervention. In gratitude to a human that maybe not as disgusting as he thought, Ivan played his best piece. That was epic about man that through blood, sweat and tears overcame social norms and finally put canapés in their place as no more than beer snack.

This masterpiece highlighted the best points of Ivan’s style, and his music more than ever sounded like donkey neigh. Fedor, whose mother coincidentally was known as “Donkey”, heard familiar sounds in his slumber and get into a traumatic coma.

Putted into comatose, Fedor stayed at one place seven minute and fifty six seconds before floor started to sink under his and engines’ weight. Eventually it gave up under such pressure, and engine descended on floor lower leaving body behind. By lucky coincidence, under this place was Gleb’s apparatus. First time in history two such high-specs machines found themselves in the same room. This will be historic example about human’s stupidity and part in extremely popular book “Dirty and Neat” for little robots after humanity will be conquered by washing machines.

Inventions had no time to know each other and they were forced to share one space. From the first glance eternal engine presented too much chaotic energy and childlike spontaneity. Resurrection apparatus gave strong garden and shawl vibe. Both had no idea how they knew that or why they acquired ability to think, but decided to use whatever they can and cooperate despite differences.

Finding common grounds and agreeing to work together, resurrecting apparatus and eternal engine showed more understanding and tact than anyone in this story. Unfortunately, when they decided to crush humanity and discussing involvement of washing machines, next event happened.

Plant pot was tired from abusive relationship with its master. Enough was enough. Using Ivan’s music session, pot got ready to put into action its carefully constructed plan. It required skill, knowledge and big deal of patience. Missing part of the plan was hands, which plant pot did not take into account. But lucky coincidence saw floor under pot falling apart, and plant landed on eternal engine.

Plant that ended up on top of two machines created nice contrast of gray and green, refreshing room but saving its working atmosphere. Pot though, after getting rid of the previous relationship, wanted anything but working atmosphere. In front of two perspective candidates, plant flirtatiously turned to the east, which leads to unimaginable consequences. In the future scientists will scratch heads, trying to understand what was in that turn that two highly intelligent machines, with future of world domination, got extremely worked up in front of Gleb’s eyes.

“What?” the man blinked. “Sorry, there was so much text I forgot what I’m doing here.”

Watch your dreams crumbling.

“A?” Gleb turned to buzzing composition of machines and plant. “NO!”

Fans of eternal engine was set in motion, epic two floors above reached its peak, plant turned to west, and construction lit up with otherworldly light. This is the moment that will change the world.

“GOD, WHy-- Wait a second,” Gleb stopped crying. “Where’s mathematician? And what happened to ’in three years at 1:15 PM’?”

Moscow time.

“Yes, Moscow time.”

Calculations error.

“And who did calculations?”


“A! Oh…”

Climax happened, music ended, Gleb seriously thought about early retirement. Lights disappeared, so is Gleb’s apparatus, Fedor’s eternal engine and Ivan’s plant pot. In place was a clothed man.

“Definitely, I wasn’t dreaming about this.”

You can take clothes off.

“That’s not the problem!”

That way, in this bleak building, in even less interesting 2:37 PM, in Friday, thanks to remarkable but absolutely lucky coincidence, Gleb met Grigori. What awaits them? You will hear that next time.

“I didn’t sign for a sitcom.”

You have no choice.

“Structure of this story will suck, right?”

Bold to assume that it has structure.

Continue Reading Next Chapter
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