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‘Lawks oh lordy Mrs Carruthers, the vicar has been murdered most foully, his poor head stoved right in with the altar candlestick. And, and—’
‘Out with it girl, what else?’
‘He was not wearing trousers. Oh the shock of seeing those knees. Oh and him a man of the cloth, oh,oh my poor heart.’
'Calm down Lilly. Woggles make Lilly a cup of sweet tea and you and I will investigate this latest murder most foul.'
In the warm spring of 1936, so continued my most challenging mystery, a mystery so mysterious it would challenge even a superb sleuthing mind such as my own. My trusted secretary and sidekick Georgina Woggles, a pleasant if rather unworldly girl would accompany me as we began our investigation into“The case of the trouserless bludgeoned vicar”
Piddle Trenthide is a pretty village that straddles the banks of the River Piddle in rural Dorset. It is an unremarkable place, with thatched cottages a church and Public House, the Poachers Arms. It is unremarkable certainly, except for one strange and terrible fact, it has the highest murder rate in the country. A serial killer stalks this village, this village where I have lived my whole life. Where I met married and finally buried my late beloved husband Cedric, raised and buried my two terrier dogs Wilf and Pickles and grow my show winning tea roses
I think the shock of finding the bludgeoned body of the librarian Miss Cox, foully murdered, her body left under a pile of books, her stays and draws removed, may have set off the seizure that ultimately killed him. As I buried my beloved Cedric I made a promise that I would find the murderer and bring him or her to justice. That was two years ago and since then there had been eleven other murders, each victim bludgeoned and each with their lower garments removed. Now the bludgeoned vicar Reverend Timothy Nibbs, makes it thirteen.
‘Hmm I think we are missing something Woggles, some vital clue we are overlooking.’
Woggles has a lisp, but usually I can understand what she means.
‘The culprit is strong and obviously fond of bludgeoning and removing the lower garments of their victim’
'Yeth, wery fond of butheging’
'Can you think of anyone, who is capable of such foul deeds?'
'Aah, Jim Borrocks the blacksmith. Why do you suspect him Woggles, do you think he is capable of such scoundrelly actions?'
'Yeth heeth’s dick head.’
‘Sick in the head, yes there was that incident when he bludgeoned the old Major and removed his regimental trousers. But when he was caught in the act he said it was a joke and old Major Hemmington Whip-Basset said he didn’t want to press charges, actually I think he quite enjoyed it. Woggles you may have cracked the case. Of course, he also has that knee fetish too, it’s all falling into place.’
Once Woggles and I had made the breakthrough, the police arrested the Blacksmith Jim Borrocks and charged him with thirteen murders and life in Piddle Trenthide soon returned to tranquil normality. But I am sure that before much longer a new and baffling case will present itself and I and my trusty sidekick Georgina Woggles will be called upon once again to save the day.
Six months later Jim Borrocks, was taken to Pentonville prison and hanged by the neck until he was dead. A very satisfying conclusion.
ryder: This is an excellent read. From beginning to end the author showed his creative and imaginative writing skills. Twists and turns, surprises, humor, and sorrow: This book has it all. I strongly recommend this book, and I am already recommending it to my friends.
Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...
farziex3: I think this novel is perfect because it had erotic, romance, and towards the end was a twist so I was just on the edge of my seat reading this book. It was honestly really amazing. I haven't found a book I actually liked to read for almost 2-3 years and this was a great book to start off. Makes ...
Deidre L. Swain: I understood where the story was going but the writing skills were lacking a lot. There are some places that had no flow. The plot was good which is what kept me reading the whole story. I think the author shows promise. They just need to tighten up on their skills to really get it going
Rebeccaseal: This was an almost perfect story that I would recommend to anyone. The only thing I would work on is painting a more realistic picture of Haiathiel. Somehow the environment seemed limited, and the land itself a bit unfinished. This can be solved simply by added descriptions to people and places. ...
tinaasante871: when Max first got introduced to the story I was like#where the hell is sara#...lol... I loved every minute of reading this book... it was fantastic although I would have loved to read more about Sara and Allie's wedding.....Anyways I hope u have more of these books installed for us because you'v...
nakhvavaishu: just loved it...u cant put this book down once u start reading...from the very first page it is an emotional rollercoaster....the way author has described the undescribable😉 chemistry between our very own jay n aqueela its just way tooo awesome...i just felt the love n mischievious bonding betwee...
jaydenmatheny: it I absolutely amazing on if the best books I have personally read❤ I highly recommend this to anyone 13+ back to my point I love this book and there should definitely be a second I would most likely but this book if I ever saw it in a store
Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...
dd1226: I love reading about other countries and I think this story about Cambodia after Polpot creates awareness of the tragedy that happened there and the actions of the U.N. to hold elections. The heroine of the story is easy to relate to, a modern, middleaged woman looking for an adventure, wanting t...
vane 3071: This book was really good. I know some people were pissed she didn't end up with Cole by why does it always have to be this way? Point is, it doesn't. She didn't love him in that way, she loved Matt. Why does she have to love a guy who probably destroyed her reputation. Sure she may have done it ...