This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
‘Lawks oh lordy Mrs Carruthers, the vicar has been murdered most foully, his poor head stoved right in with the altar candlestick. And, and—’
‘Out with it girl, what else?’
‘He was not wearing trousers. Oh the shock of seeing those knees. Oh and him a man of the cloth, oh,oh my poor heart.’
Calm down Hetty. Woggles make Hetty a cup of sweet tea and you and I will investigate this latest murder most foul.
In the warm spring of 1935, so continued my most challenging mystery, a mystery so mysterious it would challenge even a superb sleuthing mind such as my own. My trusted secretary and sidekick Georgina Woggles, a pleasant if rather unworldly girl would accompany me as we began our investigation into“The case of the trouserless bludgeoned vicar”
Piddle Trenthide is a pretty village that straddles the banks of the River Piddle in rural Dorset. It is an unremarkable place, with thatched cottages a church and Public House, the Poachers Arms. It is unremarkable certainly, except for one strange and terrible fact, it has the highest murder rate in the country. A serial killer stalks this village, this village where I have lived my whole life. Where I met married and finally buried my late beloved husband Cedric, raised and buried my two terrier dogs Wilf and Pickles and grow my show winning tea roses
I think the shock of finding the bludgeoned body of the librarian Miss Cox, foully murdered, her body left under a pile of books, her stays and draws removed, may have set off the seizure that ultimately killed him. As I buried my beloved Cedric I made a promise that I would find the murderer and bring him or her to justice. That was two years ago and since then there had been eleven other murders, each victim bludgeoned and each with their lower garments removed. The bludgeoned vicar Reverend Timothy Nibbs, makes it thirteen.
‘Hmm I think we are missing something Woggles, some vital clue we are overlooking.’
Woggles has a lisp, but usually I can understand what she means.
‘The culprit is strong and obviously fond of bludgeoning and removing the lower garments of their victim’
'Yeth, wery fond of butheging’
'Can you think of anyone, who is capable of such foul deeds?'
'Aah, Jim Borrocks the blacksmith. Why do you suspect him Woggles, do you think he is capable of such scoundrelly actions?'
'Yeth heeth’s a dick head.’
‘Sick in the head, yes there was that incident when he bludgeoned the old Major and removed his regimental trousers. But when he was caught in the act he said it was a joke and old Major Hemmington Whip-Basset said he didn’t want to press charges, actually I think he quite enjoyed it. Woggles you may have cracked the case. Of course, he also has that knee fetish too, it’s all falling into place.’
Once Woggles and I had made the breakthrough, the police arrested the Blacksmith Jim Borrocks and charged him with thirteen murders and life in Piddle Trenthide soon returned to tranquil normality. But I am sure that before much longer a new and baffling case will present itself and I and my trusty sidekick Georgina Woggles will be called upon once again to save the day.
Six months later Jim Borrocks, was taken to Pentonville prison and hanged by the neck until he was dead. A very satisfying conclusion.
Karl12: This story is written in a fun, amusing way, which caught my attention from the very beginning. This, so to speak, “free” style of writing is something I really enjoyed. It gives a great flow to the story, makes it interesting, easy to read and keeps it dynamic. I loved that both Nate’s and Laney...
JulieJeanette: I'm only on chapter nine, but so far I am loving this story!. I am on pins and needles hoping that they find good men in their lives by the end. I am American and so the British tone and lingo ('knickers,' 'sod it' ) of the book is very appealing. I had to find out how much '12 stone' was by goog...
dd1226: I love reading about other countries and I think this story about Cambodia after Polpot creates awareness of the tragedy that happened there and the actions of the U.N. to hold elections. The heroine of the story is easy to relate to, a modern, middleaged woman looking for an adventure, wanting t...
Lacey Schmidt: The Trouble with Super is that you can't stop reading it. Mr. Barrett's characters are all to easy to relate to even if you don't have a super quirk of your own, and their plight is both heart-rendingly funny and heart-warmingly sad at the same time. It's a bit like Office Space meets the Matri...
ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...
Mheka Saleh: Hey! I finished at chapter 37 and just wanna know if that's the end, anyways, i like ur story.. Hope this isn't the end yet. Cos WE WANT MORE!!! Please please please!! Continue it cos im so excited. Hopefully this isn't the END gosh. I will be so mad! Xoxoo!!
summerstone: Seriously this is one of the best books I've ever read. The plot is intriguing, I love the narrative style. Its very descriptive and unique, with minimal cliches. It makes for a great read and the sequels are amazing. Totally worth reading. ^^ That's me trying to be professional. But in all hones...
Deidre L. Swain: I understood where the story was going but the writing skills were lacking a lot. There are some places that had no flow. The plot was good which is what kept me reading the whole story. I think the author shows promise. They just need to tighten up on their skills to really get it going
Animeviewer: It is one of the best stories I've ever read. This story will have you riding a roller coaster of emotions and nearly dying to know what happens next.You will get very attached to the characters and in my case I relate well with some of their very traumatic or emotional experiences, Just Juliet f...
AASTHA SHARMA: really...one of the best novel i've ever read...a very touching story....really loved it...thanks for writing such a masterpeice...the struggle of the narrator but still remaining satisfied is the thing that i liked the most...another nice thing is the concept of talking with god...in short i wou...