This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
‘Lawks oh lawdy Mrs Carruthers, the vicar has been murdered most foully, his poor head stoved right in with the altar candlestick. And, and—’
‘Out with it girl, what else?’
‘He was not wearing trousers. Oh the shock of seeing those knees. Oh and him a man of the cloth, oh,oh my poor heart.’
Calm down Lilly. Woggles make Lilly a cup of sweet tea and you and I will investigate this latest murder most foul.
In the warm spring of 1935, so continued my most challenging mystery, a mystery so mysterious it would challenge even a superb sleuthing mind such as my own. My trusted secretary and sidekick Georgina Woggles, a pleasant if rather unworldly girl would accompany me as we began our investigation into“The case of the trouserless bludgeoned vicar”
Piddle Trenthide is a pretty village that straddles the banks of the River Piddle in rural Dorset. It is an unremarkable place, with thatched cottages a church and Public House, the Poachers Arms. It is unremarkable certainly, except for one strange and terrible fact, it has the highest murder rate in the country. A serial killer stalks this village, this village where I have lived my whole life. Where I met married and finally buried my late beloved husband Cedric, raised and buried my two terrier dogs Wilf and Pickles and grow my show winning tea roses
I think the shock of finding the bludgeoned body of the librarian Miss Cox, foully murdered, her body left under a pile of books, her stays and draws removed, may have set off the seizure that ultimately killed him. As I buried my beloved Cedric I made a promise that I would find the murderer and bring him or her to justice. That was two years ago and since then there had been eleven other murders, each victim bludgeoned and each with their lower garments removed. The bludgeoned vicar Reverend Timothy Nibbs, makes it thirteen.
‘Hmm I think we are missing something Woggles, some vital clue we are overlooking.’
Woggles has a lisp, but usually I can understand what she means.
‘The culprit is strong and obviously fond of bludgeoning and removing the lower garments of their victim’
'Yeth, wery fond of butheging’
'Can you think of anyone, who is capable of such foul deeds?'
'Aah, Jim Borrocks the blacksmith. Why do you suspect him Woggles, do you think he is capable of such scoundrelly actions?'
'Yeth heeth’s a dick head.’
‘Sick in the head, yes there was that incident when he bludgeoned the old Major and removed his regimental trousers. But when he was caught in the act he said it was a joke and old Major Hemmington Whip-Basset said he didn’t want to press charges, actually I think he quite enjoyed it. Woggles you may have cracked the case. Of course, he also has that knee fetish too, it’s all falling into place.’
Once Woggles and I had made the breakthrough, the police arrested the Blacksmith Jim Borrocks and charged him with thirteen murders and life in Piddle Trenthide soon returned to tranquil normality. But I am sure that before much longer a new and baffling case will present itself and I and my trusty sidekick Georgina Woggles will be called upon once again to save the day.
Six months later Jim Borrocks, was taken to Pentonville prison and hanged by the neck until he was dead. A very satisfying conclusion.
AASTHA SHARMA: really...one of the best novel i've ever read...a very touching story....really loved it...thanks for writing such a masterpeice...the struggle of the narrator but still remaining satisfied is the thing that i liked the most...another nice thing is the concept of talking with god...in short i wou...
ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...
sujitha nair: What's so distinct about this story was that it could easily be real. Praveena can be your classmate, neighbor or that girl you saw at the coffee shop today. The important decisions she makes and the dilemmas she faces, remind us of our own twisted lives.
Destiny Lee: This is amazing. It's totally realistic - cool girls have flaws, too, okay?? Totally awkward girl picks up her mom's old bass from her garage, messes around, and realizes, hey, maybe I can move on after all. She has moments where everything's hopeless for her, after all, an alcoholic dad and a fl...
Nivedita patyal: I loved the plot of the story and all the crazy characters...I laughed so hard and loud while reading it as it have everything from twins to crazy friends, highschool, football, fashion and of course relationships and love triangles....I would say it's A GREAT ROMANTIC AND HUMOROUS STORY
Clare Cormack: Fantastic read! I was gripped from the beginning. The plot twist and change of gear stops you from putting it down. I enjoyed the way the individual characters had their own chapters, reading from their own point of view - believable and identifiable. Im really excited to read the sequel and have...
ArgyrisMetaxas: Thrilling story which builds layer ontop of layer. A few mis spellings every few chapters. What I found special was that it took a modern day problem and took it to its logical conclusion and plays this realism with gritting precision. I'm always on edge ready to shout from adrenaline. This is gr...
Books17: This is my first book review.I found the story to be very intriguing.The beginning of the story starts and you are immediately thrown into wanting to know what will happen next, The action, or intrigue is established early, so there isn't the feeling of the story dragging on, or thinking about wh...
JulieJeanette: I'm only on chapter nine, but so far I am loving this story!. I am on pins and needles hoping that they find good men in their lives by the end. I am American and so the British tone and lingo ('knickers,' 'sod it' ) of the book is very appealing. I had to find out how much '12 stone' was by goog...
ryder: This is an excellent read. From beginning to end the author showed his creative and imaginative writing skills. Twists and turns, surprises, humor, and sorrow: This book has it all. I strongly recommend this book, and I am already recommending it to my friends.
Priyanka Bhatia: My one of the most favorite movie is twilight this novel makes me remind the movie I was not able to take a break from reading superb novel , I would just love to read more novels by this author and it would be a cherry on cake if it would be something like this novel.😊
Kim Walker: The characters in this book was very well developed. It is very evident that the writer put q lot of thought and effort into his work. I thoroughly enjoyed it! The way he described the scenes, the plot, the setting is absolutely remarkable. Two thumbs up!
RodRaglin: Your writing is very good, Rachel, but remember you also have to entertain the reader and in that regard it's a bit sparse in action and dialogue.Consider when revising...When starting a new story always consider your protagonist's Goal - what they want; Motivation - why they want it; and, Confli...
CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...